Hillary Clinton Helpfully Suggests that Republicans Look at Trump's E-mails
“Given how hard he tried to keep them from being released, those must be some e-mails,” the former Secretary of State said.
Source: newyorker.com
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Top News In Borowitz Report Today - Breaking & Trending Today
Ivanka Trump Reportedly Begged Putin to Order Her Dad to Stop Capitol Attack
“You’ve got to talk sense to my dad,” she pleaded. “You’re the only one he listens to.”
Source: newyorker.com
Marjorie Taylor Greene Accuses Jewish Space Lasers of Trying to Shoot Down Santa
“If you want to win the war on Christmas, first you take out the person who makes Christmas possible,” Greene said.
Source: newyorker.com
Manchin Will Agree to Halloween Only if Candy Is Completely Removed
“Kids skip his house, because he just gives out coal,” one neighbor said.
Source: newyorker.com
El Chapo Refuses to Share a Prison Cell with Steve Bannon
The ex-kingpin said that he was speaking “out of an abundance of caution.”
Source: newyorker.com