Page 12 - Colbert Super News Today : Breaking News, Live Updates & Top Stories | Vimarsana

Stephen yes, board up your windows, stock up on canned meats this will be the biggest, classiest, most devastating election gamechanger in the Human History of time. Okay . Think teapot dome, only the teapot is encrusted with gold and were using diamond tea bags. [ laughter ] the speculation was rampant. Was it the longrumored obama divorce papers . Proof that obamas white half is also black . [ laughter ] no, even bigger. Trump dropped a tenmegatrump bombshell. If barack obama opens up and gives his College Records and applications; and if he gives his passport applications and records; i wil...

Costumes. [ laughter ] this is the colbert report [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] welcome to the report. Good to have you with us. [cheers and applause] happy wednesday. Folks, lets get straight to it. We have no time to waste here because folks, huge news. Were always looking to bring you the biggest election story. And rumors started monday about a gamechanging october surprise. Donald trump now claims to have a bombshell announcement about president obama. A major announcement from donald trump coming today, and why it might change you...

Three items off their 50 item menu and no one will give a [bleep]. Finally, i struggle with how to say goodbye to my friends. I saw a clip and i knew that was the one. Enjoy. [laughter] something to a few wellplaced ba bandages wouldnt fix and i promised myself i wouldnt cry. I was captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause stephen, stephen, stephen thank you, thank you ladies and gentlemen. I got to tell you. That is so beautiful. That is so beautiful. I will take that sound. I will take that sound over jingle bells any day. Nation, tonight is my last episod...

Carolina, dont. laughter now weve just found out weve just found out, folks, when it comes to hurricanes there is a new name for danger. And its girlly. According to a new study researchers looked at more than 16 years of death tolls from hurricanes and they found femalenamed hurricanes killed more people than the male ones. laughter stephen yes. Oh yes. When it comes to destruction, the lady storm shattered the Glass Ceiling well, the glass everything. laughter according to the study, people dont take hurricanes as seriously if they have a feminine name. And neither consider them as risky nor...

Welcome to the report. Thank you very much. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, good to have you with us. Folks, cheers and applause thank you, thank you so much for being with us tonight. Its good to have you with us, tonight as all nights, folks as a bit of a clothes horse its my job to remind you of the annual fashion dos and donts. For instance it is now after memorial day so you are allowed to wear white pants. But i dont recommend it because what youre about to hear is going to make you go to code brown jim in. Today marks the beginning of the atlantic Hurricane Season. The beginning of the...