Page 4 - Jon Al News Today : Breaking News, Live Updates & Top Stories | Vimarsana

Theres not that many chances in your life where you get to see a problem and then eat that problem. I wouldnt have even fixed my car. Id wait for people to be like, what did you hit . So i could be like, this. [ laughter and applause ] all right, thank you guys very much. Youve been great. I really appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] captions by vitac www. Vitac. Com captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. The guest toni...

Stephen thats it for the report, everybody. Dont forget to see zero dark thirty by Kathryn Bigelow and captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. The guest tonight, listen to this, settle down. Supreme court justice, thats right, today on the show, Supreme Court. Thank you very much Supreme Court Justice Sonnia Sotomayor cheers and applause unless i believe shes coming out here. Unless this is another elaborate hoax by manti t...

First, i want to let you people know i am a jew who is in to politics. cheers and applause . Been doing the show 15 years now. laughter speaking of which, ooh, i think we have a new middle east war brewing out there. Thats latebreaking news. Well have to deal with that when we get back. Whats better than a middle east war. Lets begin one more from the where are they now . You may remember mitt romney made a rather infamous statement that 47 of the country would not vote for him because they saw himself as victims, entitled housing, health care, from the government. As it turns out, much to his...

Usually wrong but never in doubt Yes we did. My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year. Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them. The revolution will be supervised. It’s been a really long fucking year. I personally stopped the public option… The house always wins. Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity … makes me wish i had hoarded more linguine Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub. Militantly superior in their own minds… Saul Alinsky is my co-pilot. I’d like to think you all would remain faithful...

that milkaholic lindsey and the baby goes what? lindsey wants $100 million for, quote, pain and suffering. i think lindsey is a pretty common name. bill: ain't gonna happen! "happening now" starts right now. martha: see you tomorrow. jon: good morning to you, i'm jon scott. jane: i'm jane skinner, "happening now", more bizarre details in the resignation of eric massa, the new york law maker is blasting rahm emanuel, calling him the son of the devil's spawn, and trying to intim -- saying emanuel tried to intimidate him when they were spark naked. jon: an employee at ohio state opens f...