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Calm. You know hell do it calm, the polls have biden ahead. Dont tell me about polls. The polls had hillary ahead. How did that go . Calm, calm buzzer couple calm calm calm screw calm vote vote votes announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, should we joe . Plus stephen welcomes john oliver, cher and musical guest jojo, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen welcome to a late show. Im Stephen Colbert. I stake exception to the way we announce cher tonight. John oliver, c...

Laughter donald trump won the presidency, and then i heard a strange noise. It sounded like a scream, like some kind of screaming. What did you do . I crept into the living room. The tv was on. I was so scared. So scared. Msnbc, the anchors, they were crying. They were crying. laughter seriously. You have all that already . What do you need me for . I want to come in there with you. laughter stephen thank you very much. Thank you hey, everybody please, youre very kind. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the late show. Im your host, stephen colbert. Very nice, very nice group of people. Happy fri...

Youre wearing lavender and Peach Blossom perfume. No, sir. I think thats the glade plugin youre smelling. laughter ah, yes, freshness all day. Still hunting President Trump . Do you know him . I do. We were golfing buddies once. We ate our caddy, turned him into a taco bowl with a nice diet coke. Pfpfpfpfpf. Doctor, what can you tell me about the president . You already have the answers. What is his nature . What does he do, this man you seek . Hes hes an idiot who says the first thing that comes to mind. No, that is incidental. Quid pro quo, clarice. Tell me your worst memory of the election....

Youre wearing lavender and Peach Blossom perfume. No, sir. I think thats the glade plugin youre smelling. laughter ah, yes, freshness all day. Still hunting President Trump . Do you know him . I do. We were golfing buddies once. We ate our caddy, turned him into a taco bowl with a nice diet coke. Pfpfpfpfpf. Doctor, what can you tell me about the president . You already have the answers. What is his nature . What does he do, this man you seek . Hes hes an idiot who says the first thing that comes to mind. No, that is incidental. Quid pro quo, clarice. Tell me your worst memory of the election....

Stephen youre wearing lavender and Peach Blossom perfume. No, sir. I think thats the glade plugin youre smelling. laughter stephen ah, yes, freshness all day. Still hunting President Trump . Do you know him . Stephen i do. We were golfing buddies once. We ate our caddy, turned him into a taco bowl with a nice diet coke. Pfpfpfpfpfpf. laughter doctor, what can you tell me about the president . Stephen you already have the answers. What is his nature . What does he do, this man you seek . Hes hes an idiot who says the first thing that comes to mind. Stephen no, that is incidental. Quid pro quo, ...