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Broom. [ laughter ] during a press conference this afternoon, President Trump said that his administration is getting things done at a recordsetting pace. For example, most president s take four years to finish a term and it looks like trumps gonna get it done in like eight months. [ cheers and applause ] so [ laughter ] youre out the Justice Department yesterday appointed former fbi director Robert Mueller as special council to oversee the investigation into trump and russia. Im gonna get to the bottom of this. Said donald trump to a pint of haagen dazs. [ laughter ] everybody, calling me a l...

Ro steve and now, here he is, [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh my goodness look at that crowd looking good [ cheers and applause ] looking good, in the neighborhood hey, welcome, everybody. Welcome to the tonight show this is it baby [ cheers and applause ] you made it youre here well the big story is still former fbi director, james comeys testimony yesterday. And i saw that trumps lawyer responded with a statement that was filled with typos and even misspelled the word president. [ laughter ] trump was like, did he forget the z . [ laughter ] because i do that. Its a common mistake. [ laught...

[ laughter ] during a press conference this afternoon, President Trump said that his administration is getting things done at a recordsetting pace. For example, most president s take four years to finish a term and it looks like trumps gonna get it done in like eight months. [ cheers and applause ] so [ laughter ] youre out the Justice Department yesterday appointed former fbi director Robert Mueller as special council to oversee the investigation into trump and russia. Im gonna get to the bottom of this. Said donald trump to a pint of haagen dazs. [ laughter ] everybody, calling me a liar. Im...

Digiorno . Rise to the occasion. Its not delivery. Its digiorno. But the way we watch it is not. So, lets do something else. Like what . Like, watch tv wherever. Whats that supposed to mean . It means, anywhere. In a car . Yep. Oof. But not like that. Like this. Oooh, family boat trip yeah. And check this, record as many shows as you want. What . What . I just got chills. I know tv, like, made for us. Finally finally. Yeah. Finally. Wait, thats way cheaper than cable. Oh, its actually. Sfx short balloon squeal its ver. Sfx balloon squeals ok can we. Sfx balloon squeals goodbye oof, that milk i...

Now that weve been given this second chance, its up to all of us to see what we do with it. And the first new email since the internet was erased successfully went out at 6 00 a. M. Today. The honor went to a mr. Dave beckett of boca raton, florida. Mr. Beckett, you had the honor of being the first person to socialize on the new internet. Can you tell us what you did . Well, i sent an email with a photo to my old friend thomas winger up in connecticut. And what did you say to mr. Winger . I showed him my dick, called him a fag. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is ...