Page 2 - Pope Jon News Today : Breaking News, Live Updates & Top Stories | Vimarsana

From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My guest i think youll enjoy George Stephanapolous will be joining us. Mr. Stephanapolous will be out here in a little bit. Well talk to him very briefly because hes got to be up in like two hours. Big news from vatican city tonight. Pope benedict xvi announcing he is stepping down as leader of the catholic church. Jon popes can do that . I assumed the papacy was like a lifetime commitment like being in the mob or being a ...

Nah, youre scared. You got you got lady balls. [hangs up, dial tone] [beep] hello . Im calling about the peridot earrings. Yes, maam theyd look good on your dead body. Why dont you kill yourself . All right. Thats that. That theres the the straw that broke the camels back. I got a gun right here. What do you think about that . Put it against your temple and pull the trigger. [gun clicks] [gunshot] [microphone feedback] from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My ...

Come on. We came in with one more thing in our pockets. Um. I dont know what you guys are talking about. I did a semester at bart, so im a pretty good writer. So the yelp review im gonna write about this place is gonna be scathing. His word choice is brilliant. Youre idiots. Leave now. Give me my cocaine or im gonna have a spaz attack so do you guys have, like, good memories . Or. [cracks neck] bummer. Bruckenhiemer, shawn, you are free to go. [both laugh] thank you, daddy. [bleep] you [bleep] you [bleep] you [bleep] you eat my [bleep]. Okay . [laughs] good at bizness. From comedy centrals wor...

Get ready for the Lindsay Lohan motivational speaking tour. Making surprise visits this summer to springfield, missouri. Spokane, washington. Lubbock, texas. Gallup, new mexico. Paramus, new jersey. Purchase tickets now, online or at participating convenient stores. Tickets nonrefundable. Good morning. Im Mark Halperin and this is way too early. Thanks for being with us. On this thursday, february 27th. I cant sweat the small stuff. I got a state to rebuild. Well show you how responded at length to being left off the invite list. Some moving testimony on capitol hill as loved ones on those kil...

They go, hold my baby. [laughter] man, they had a 91 yearold stripper, man. Ninetyone man, it was a trip. Yall seen an old stripper . Woman yeah. I mean, they brought one on the stage, man. Look, can i just show yall how it went . Yeah. Player, she was 91 years old. Let me show yall what happened. [slow music playing] [laughter and applause] [laughter continues] [laughter and applause] [laughter and applause] [laughter and applause] thank you. [cheers, whistles applause] captioning made possible by comedy central. Captioned by mccaptioning services www. Mccaption. Com from comedy centrals worl...