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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131214

So gallant ly sleeping and the rockets red glare and the bombs bursting in air that our flag was still there oh say that starspangled banner yeah waving for the land of the free and the brave play ball see you next week. Looks like Michael Phelps is still smoke pot. Its like watching a jumbo jet land an aircraft. When i meant to say before the stupid time ran out its like i dont care i will get this joke out. Its like watching a jumbo jet land an aircraft. No, back it up. Its like watching a jumbo jet land on an aircraft carrier. I know. Okay. Out of time. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report, thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much come on audience chanting stephen . Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I need that kind of praise cheers and applause folks, i have to tell you ....

United States , New York , District Of Columbia , New Yorker , Aisha Harris , Stephen T Colbert , Marco Rubio , George Packer , Santa Claus , Martin Luther King , Elizabeth Warren , Evangeline Lilly , Jon Stewart , Michael Phelps , David Koechner , Ted Cruz , Heidi Spencer , Paul Ryan , Megyn Kelly , Like Michael , Comedy Central , Government Shutdown , National Parks , National Parks Open , Government Agency , Cheating Death ,

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131213

I need that kind of praise cheers and applause folks, i have to tell you, i need that kind of praise because i am furious and no amount of your applause will change my mood. So dont even try it again. cheers and applause you know what . You know what . Sorry. No, no. Actually, actually i was wrong, that worked. laughter you know what, jim . You better make me mad again. Congressional leaders have agreed to a new budget deal. The pact is supposed to eliminate the continuous cycle of standoff and Government Shutdown threats. Theyre calling it the bipartisan budget act of 2013. They actually passed a budget. I mean, the fact that we have to applaud that is unbelievable. But its a good thing. Theyre actually doing their job. Stephen wrong it is not a good thing and they are not doing their job. Americans sent republicans to washington to accomplish one thing zero things. laughter but with this bipartisan budget well have no chanc ....

United States , New York , District Of Columbia , New Yorker , Aisha Harris , Marco Rubio , Stephen T Colbert , George Packer , Hank Hooper , Santa Claus , Martin Luther King , Elizabeth Warren , Paul Ryan , Ted Cruz , Megyn Kelly , Government Shutdown , National Parks , National Parks Open , Government Agency , Cheating Death , New Side , Pure Sleep , Big Fan , New Way , True Beauty , White People ,

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131213

Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report, thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much come on audience chanting stephen . Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I need that kind of praise cheers and applause folks, i have to tell you, i need that kind of praise because i am furious and no amount of your applause will change my mood. So dont even try it again. cheers and applause you know what . You know what . Sorry. No, no. Actually, actually i was wrong, that worked. laughter you know what, jim . You better make me mad again. Congressional leaders have agreed to a new budget deal. The pact is supposed to eliminate the continuous cycle of standoff and Government Shutdown threats. Theyre calling it the bipartisan budget act of 2013. They actually passed a budget. I mean, the fact ....

United States , New York , District Of Columbia , New Yorker , Aisha Harris , Marco Rubio , Stephen T Colbert , George Packer , Santa Claus , Martin Luther King , Elizabeth Warren , Paul Ryan , Ted Cruz , Megyn Kelly , Comedy Central , Government Shutdown , National Parks , National Parks Open , Government Agency , Cheating Death , New Side , Pure Sleep , Big Fan , New Way , True Beauty , White People ,

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131213

[cheers and applause] jorveg thats our show. Join us all next week at 11 00. Here it is your join us all next week at 11 00. Here it is your moment zen. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report, thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much come on audience chanting stephen . Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I need that kind of praise cheers and applause folks, i have to tell you, i need that kind of praise because i am furious and no amount of your applause will change my mood. So dont even try it again. cheers and applause you know what . You know what . Sorry. No, no. Actually, actually i was wrong, that worked. laughter you know what, jim . You better make me mad again. Congressional leaders have agreed to a new budget deal. The pact is supposed to eliminate the continuous cycle of standoff and
United States , New York , District Of Columbia , New Yorker , Aisha Harris , Marco Rubio , Stephen T Colbert , George Packer , Santa Claus , Martin Luther King , Elizabeth Warren , Paul Ryan , Ted Cruz , Megyn Kelly , Comedy Central , Government Shutdown , National Parks , National Parks Open , Government Agency , Cheating Death , New Side , Pure Sleep , Big Fan , New Way , True Beauty , White People ,