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Clintons so much, he sure is turning into one [ laughter ] congresswoman alexandria ocasiocortez will be joining senator Bernie Sanders at a Campaign Event in las vegas and theyll blend right in because that is the average age difference in las vegas. [ laughter ] the [ applause ] the food blog eater published an article today about what president ial hopeful andrew yang eats on the campaign trail they were originally doing the article on Bernie Sanders, but it got pretty boring [ laughter ] according to a new study, half of democrats believe there should be a maximum age for president s and t...

President trump was impeached today. Though i think its a little like having a raccoon in your garage and poking it with a broom. Its still there, its just mad now. President trump was on twitter during todays Impeachment Vote and accused democrats of carrying out quote an assault on america and an assault on the Republican Party filled with atrocious lies by the radical left. [ laughter ] i feel like we elected a 2 00 a. M. Mattress commercial as president. Why do you always have to use all caps honestly i cant wait until trump is finally out of office and the only time we see all caps is whe...

Make a wish, hanukkah. Thats right, President Trump hosted a hanukkah reception at the white house. Its his favorite holiday because no matter how hard he tries, he cant misspell it. [ laughter ] in a new interview, House Speaker nancy pelosi said that she never watched President Trump on the apprentice, and then trump said he never watched her on golden girls. [ light laughter ] you were blanche, right . According to reports, Rudy Giuliani has reached a divorce settlement with his third wife they opted for divorce after she realized he was difficult to live with, and he realized she didnt hav...

They are done with it. This elf on the shelf is like the fbi watching them at all times. My daughter jane is 5 now. Shes very focussed on the elf. We have to move him around at night, she says where does the elf go every night. And my wife says he goes home to the north pole to tell santa what he saw. Am s and she says how does he go all the way back there and then back here for morning. And then she said, am i supposed to believe everything . Things are hard to believe. In washington tonight, they are decorating the halls of congress as we celebrate impeachment eve. Tomorrow the house will vo...

[ light laughter ] u. S. Embassy staffer david holmes testified this morning that u. S. Diplomats did not want to work with Rudy Giuliani, with Eu Ambassador Gordon Sondland once saying, quote, every time rudy gets involved, he goes and gets effs everything up. [ laughter ] its true. I mean, for example, heres what new york city looked like before rudy was mayor [ laughter ] during last nights debate senator Amy Klobuchar touted her fundraising ability and claimed she set an alltime Senate Record by bringing in 17,000 from exboyfriends [ light laughter ] so either she has one or two wealthy ex...