Very slowly. So stay vigilant, america. Antifa fake teeth, fake hips, real danger. Ive fallen, and ill kill you all its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight give peace some chants plus, stephen welcomes Emmanuel Acho and Chris Wallace. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen its going to be great. Its going to be three weeks of just you and me and no kids. laughter ready . Im ready on right now. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. All over america, millions of people are still marching to protest the murder of george floyd by Minneapolis Police and Police Brutality in black communities nationwide. Over the weekend, we saw massive turnouts in cities like los angeles, washington, d. C. , and philadelphia. That last one is particularly inspiring. Because usually when you see a crowd that big in philadelphia, theyre throwing batteries at the right fielder. Protests have also been a daily occurrenc
Sorry. What did he do . Sorry. Thats peoples work. Leave it be. Hes an idiot. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, everythings coming up covid. Plus stephen welcomes andy cohen and musical guest phoebe bridgers. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen welcome to a late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Yesterday, for the 41st straight day, the sevenday average of new Coronavirus Infections in the u. S. Went up. Turns out doing nothing does nothing. But were learning more about exactly why the administration is doing so little. Part of the problem white house chief of staff and toddler who refuses to go potty, mark meadows. Apparently, behind the scenes, has been particularly forceful in his view that the white house should avoid drawing attention to the virus. Oh, yeah, whenever theres an historic crisis, the less said the better. Like uncle sam said in those wartime recruitment posters i want y
This way is illegal. I want to express my thanks to the dozens of oh, and i got your curly fries. Want me to feed them to you pelican style . Yes, sir. crunch announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, shot heard around the world. Plus, stephen welcomes elmo. Kumail nanjiani. And musical guest andra day. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen we set over here . All right. Do it. Welcome to a late show. Im Stephen Colbert. Just when you think things cant get any weirder, trump cranks it up to 11 and then swallows the knob. Today, the president held a white house meeting with leaders in the restaurant industry. as trump before we begin, fellas, how about some apps for the whole table, okay . Honey, lets get some jalapeno poppers. Nachos . Nachos, clam strips, and calamari, thanks. Oooh, garlic knots dammit. The topic was supposed to be reopening the economy, but then trump started answering questions and it was t
Stephen colbert. Tonight the zoom where its happening. Plus, stephen welcomes former National Security advisor john bolton. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen got welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Were a little over four months from the president ial election, and things are not looking great for donald trump. Hes trailing biden by double digits in polls by cnn and cnbc. Hes even down by 12 points in a fox news poll. Ooh, you know it hurts more when you get the news from someone you love. The only way it could have been worse is if he found out from the bottom of a chicken bucket. Trump is so far behind, that according to the hill, there is no plausible scenario where trump would lose the National Popular vote by the kind of margin currently projected, yet still eke out an Electoral College win. Why would you say that, you idiots i gotta knock on wood. Its aged in oak. Trumps still stinging
Believe me. So get the king dons bible today before supplies are hurled at protesters. And, remember, if someone slaps you on the cheek, i got two words for you tear. Gas. Its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight coup and what army . Plus, stephen welcomes Keegan Michael key and wes moore. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen look at the hair. The hair is getting out of control. You ready to do this . One, two. Phew welcome to a late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. Its yet another historic day here in america. And, as usual with donald trump, it aint the good kind of history. Ken burns, ive got your next project the civil war 2 half the civil, all the war. For a week, americas streets have been filled with protesters enraged over the murder of george floyd by police, while trump said practically nothing. But last night, around 6 45, he finally appeared in the rose garden to calm a troubled nation by threatening martial law. I am mobilizing