Page 31 - Andy Borowitz News Today : Breaking News, Live Updates & Top Stories | Vimarsana

Origin On Jan. 20, 2021, shortly after the inauguration of U.S. President Joe Biden, news reports circulated that, although former President Donald Trump had broken longstanding traditions like communicating with his successor and attending his inauguration ceremony, Trump did follow one tradition: He left a letter for Biden in the Oval Office, as CNN White House correspondent Kaitlan Collins reported: One of the first things President Biden will see when he enters the Oval for the first time is the letter left for him on the Resolute Desk by President Trump, the same spot where President Oba...

Dumping Trump, Ditching Mitch Ill Douche, Il Duce, Moscow Mitch and Beverly Hillbillies' "Granny." In five days Joe Biden will be the 46th President of the United States. Unless of course, white supremacist insurrectionist MAGATS inflict more domestic terrorism as they did in their January 6 attack on the capitol. Or Trump resigns making Mike Pence the 46th POTUS. Demanding Pence overturn the electoral college results, he told his Vice-Poodle, “You can either go down in history as a patriot, or as a pu*sy.” (Wouldn’t it be the most poetic of justices if Pence refused to grant Trump hi...

Late-night hosts and other humorists have reacted to the mob violence at the Capitol with a combination of fury and solemnity that matches this moment of national crisis — and shows no sign of abating.

Funny New Year Quotes: Hilarious Sayings To Usher In 2021 12/31/20 AT 7:20 AM New Year is around the corner, and everyone hopes 2021 would treat them better than the past year. Here are some funny quotes – courtesy Brainy Quote, ThoughtCo and Bustle – to share with your loved ones or just read and laugh as you step into 2021.  1. "New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions." — Mark Twain 2. "Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle ...

Woog's World: We started 2020 with no idea Sign In Dan Woog FacebookTwitterEmail One year ago today we headed to large, festive open house parties (or headed back, hungover, from a large, festive night in New York). We ate, drank and wished each other a happy new year.  We had no idea what was coming. One day earlier – on Dec. 31, the last day of the decade – Chinese authorities acknowledged dozens of cases of a new virus. Though there was no evidence the virus spread easily, health officials were monitoring it closely. It seemed confined to Wuhan – a city most Americans had never hear...