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Incriminating information and man, that is not good. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause [ laughter ] its like when someone has a President Trump met with the face tattoo that says, hail satan. President of ukraine today at [ laughter ] the u. N. And look at that guys if thats what youre showing face [ laughter ] people, what a i mean, he looks like jim from [ laughter and applause the office. According to the call according to the call transcript released this morning, president [ laughter ] thats the face you make when trump told the president of someone says, you know whos ukraine, quote, th...

Its me, sayin hey, whos the april fool now . I believe she broke his egg yolks. We have a shenaniganpacked show tonight. Moments from now, well chat with Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet from modern family. We helped one of them perpetrate a crime on the other one. Then later, well visit with ghosts of prankings past, the time we repeatedly frightened my cousin micki with a wax figure of me, and maybe my favorite prank of alltime, painting my aunt chippys house while she wasnt home. So stay through the whole show for that. Youll be glad you did. Today also happens to be census day her...

Evidence that prehistoric humans [ laughter ] consumed Dairy Products judging by the cave drawings [ laughter ] the third democratic primary debate is tomorrow night t wais. And finally, kfc is coming out with a new video game called i love you, Colonel Sanders a [ laughter ] Finger Lickin good dating Boris Johnson illegally simulator [ audience oohs [ laughter ] where players go to Culinary School with Colonel Sanders and try to date him. Even worse mcdonalds is coming out with Ronald Mcdonald down to clown. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight [ cheers and ...

Going to double that thats how well its going so its working guys, thank you so much, this is awesome up to 200,000 theyre going to match this week. So please donate to that it is working, what youre doing is great thank you, thank you so much we have a great show tonight, former Vice President joe biden is on our show tonight were gonna be talking about coronavirus, the election, how coronavirus has affected the election and theres so many so much stuff we have to talk about tonight. Also ill be talking with lady gaga who has a giant announcement that she wants to make tonight on our show we ...

Countries to stop spreading please dont do this just so i planted my whole garden because you can. Disinformation about the are you all planted . Your garden . And jolene, dont get me wrong, id love to listen to you read a seth no, we dont have a book garden your voice is soft like summer rain, but we know that well, you better dig one. Jolene because this might last all Jolene Jolene summer, you know seth yeah, it is my wifes birthday today a man in brooklyn recently used i think that that would be her a drone to maintain proper dream gift if i would social distancing while asking a woman out...