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Steve from 30 Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight, join jimmy and his guests kaley cuoco Megan Rapinoe comedian josh johnson. And the legendary roots crew and now heres your host, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy awesome. Oh, my goodness. Thank you very much. That feels good. Even though its its ten people a standing ovation is a standing ovation [ cheers and applause thats a loud ten people i love you guys. Thank you very much. Thanks for tuning in welcome to the tonight show. Lets get to the news and jokes. Well, guys,...

Tv, emptied on our door, which is not great, but whatever, not a big deal. But then im looking at it and im wondering, how did it hit at that angle . Did the bird come in sideways, like it was sliding into second base . How did this get there . And thats when i realized that the pigeon guano was coming from inside the door it was inside. I still dont know how it happened. From a physics standpoint, it doesnt make any sense. I guess logic tells me that the door must have been open and the bird somehow edged over and did that thing birds love doing to us, the revenge of the birds, but the door w...

started the russia collusion story and went in and told barack obama all about it she was trying to link trump to russia to get attention off email scandal. we thought that hillary got the russians to make the story up. it turns out hillary's guy made up the pee pee tape lie. and then they just pin it on a russian. the democratic national committee had this guy, charles dolan, he goes to russia. checks into the ritz carlton and asks for a tour of the presidential suite. and then the golden shower story drops. nobody at the ritz carlton told him this. not the bellman, not the cleaning...

>> look, willie. can you imagine? >> no. >> like, waking up every morning there. what a view mika has. again, i don't know about the satellite dish, but, you know, when she sees a ram, she goes out and moves it a little bit west, picks up, yeah. >> some people have the red zone package. mika gets out there game to game. if the team gets to the red zone, she turns it in that direction. you can watch the end of the game. >> okay. >> i've never been invited up there. wonder what it looks like. >> i haven't either. sometimes she lets jack go up to move the satellite dish. jack, upstairs,...

light, like hem lock. more tastier like spring water near a train derailment. the company lost tons of money in the wake of the dylan mulvaney controversy where they gave us the first commemorative can featuring woman-face something that will no doubt be con telled in about 10 years. sails plummeting faster than hunter biden's pants in a porno theater. and we're seeing more boycotts than at kevin spacey's sleep away camp. it's okay. it's okay that i said that. just a joke. but to me this is wrong, because while i think it's good for a company to get a message from the public when the...