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Scott Beggs Scott Beggs stop. And i would blush if i had any blood in my body. Happy thursday, everyone. So its been two days since cnn announced theyre bringing back brian stelter. Two days. And already Jake Tapper has had to bring back his refrigerator once again to buy. The doj has formally accused russia of election interference. I guess whats old is new. If your president has dementia. Liz cheney says shes voting for Kamala Harris. Well, then kamala has my vote, says one man. Thats benedict arnold. For all you non history buffs. A Las Vegas woman told police she stole an expensive casket ...

[cheering and applause] [laughter] stop it! stop it! stop it! i would blush if i had any blood in my body. Happy thursday everyone. It's been two days since cnn announced they are bringing back brian stelter, two days and already jake tapper has had to bring back his refrigerator lock. Once again the biden doj has formerly accused russia of election interference. I guess what is old is new if your president has dementia. [laughter] liz cheney says she is voting for kamala harris. Well then kamala has my vote says one man. That's benedict arnold for all of you nonhistory buffs. A las vegas woma...

Tonights debate was not the wrestlemania event most people were expecting. I think maybe somebody swapped trumps adderall out for tylenol. Donald trump, by the way, is the only president who gets marks for good behavior. [ laughter ] like when you bring a 2yearold on a plane. He tried very hard to resemble a human being tonight. The topics for this debate were american families, race in america, fighting covid19, climate change, national security, and dipping sauces. [ laughter ] the president requested the last one. Unfortunately for trump, he knows very little about any of these subjects. Th...

Anyway, coming up on tonights show apple announces a new iphone, jaboukie youngwhite is working the polls, and why donald trump is threatening to hook up with you. So lets do this, people welcome to the daily social distancing show. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central announcer from trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show, with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off with the Technology News that im super excited about today. I finally found my remote. Yo, that was killing me. I was watching spanish soccer, match, but th...

This is all your fault, kyle. You screwed up the second act. Me . It was your stupidass writing. Face it, stans crappy singing is what sunk us. [all arguing] what the hell is this . [arguing continues] this has got to be fake. Screw this. This is just stupid. Oh, dont start with me, kenny fake on, everybody. Welcome to the daily social distancing show. Im trevor noah. Today is tuesday, the 13th of october, which means if you live in kentucky or texas, early voting has officially begun. And just think about how nice it would be to get your vote in early, people. Then you wont have to worry abou...