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COM The Colbert Report November 29, 2012

Of horrors. Its got 20 bonus minutes of rick moranis nude scenes. G. M. And apple are teaming up to bring siri to cars. Or as siri understood it, eminem and snap rl teaming up to bring cherrys to mars. laughter this is the colbert report. theme song playing cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report everybody, good to have you with us. Thank you so much. audience chanting stephen thank you so much, please sit down lets get to our top story tonight. Television Host Stephen Colbert has announced his resignation from the colbert report effective immediately. laughter because, folks, i am stinking filthy rich laughter jimmy, tell them why power bavl sales are skyrocketing, upping both the jackpot and the odds that somebody will actually win the big prize tonight. It sits at 550 million. Stephen 550 million suck my powerball laughter and applause jimmy, play my jam. Youre a rich girl and youve gone too ....

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COM The Colbert Report November 29, 2012

Bring siri to cars. Or as siri understood it, eminem and snap rl teaming up to bring cherrys to mars. laughter this is the colbert report. theme song playing cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report everybody, good to have you with us. Thank you so much. audience chanting stephen thank you so much, please sit down lets get to our top story tonight. Television Host Stephen Colbert has announced his resignation from the colbert report effective immediately. laughter because, folks, i am stinking filthy rich laughter jimmy, tell them why power bavl sales are skyrocketing, upping both the jackpot and the odds that somebody will actually win the big prize tonight. It sits at 550 million. Stephen 550 million suck my powerball laughter and applause jimmy, play my jam. Youre a rich girl and youve gone too far because you know it dont matter anyway cheers and applause you can rely on the old mans money st ....

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COM The Colbert Report November 30, 2012

Cheers and applause you can rely on the old mans money stephen now laughs whoo cheers and applause now i know that lotto money is going to be mine, okay . Even though the drawing hasnt happened yet, even though the odds of winning are 175 million to one. Because i bought 175 million tickets. laughter and im guaranteed to win, because every single one of these babies has the exact same lucky numbers. laughter all right . So its in the bank. I am megarich no more slaving away for the man 30 minutes a day four days a week. laughter look, its been a great run, its been fun, but lets face it im not doing this show for my health just look at any picture of me from seven years ago. laughter now i can afford to build a time machine and go back and warn that guy not to do this show were dying laughter anyway, call your friends because the partay is going to be bumping in my new mansion weve got two pools one shaped like the squirrel from ice age 2 one shaped like the squirrel from ice age 3. la ....

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MSNBCW Morning Joe August 6, 2014 10:00:00

Early. Morning joe starts right now. This book is 656 pages of shameless name dropping. Jim . Tanz mean Prime Minister ma zin go pin dand i do some planting at a womens cooperative in. She just happened to be hanging out with many zen go in lamb deez zi. Not impressed. There was no way on earth one woman can be in so many places at once. [ cheers and applause ] Hillary Clinton. Now whos a name dropper, stephen. Really . Name dropper, thats not what my good friend tom hanks calls me when were hanging out at George Clooneys place. I loved george. I wish i could have joined her when i had lunch with merrill street and raphael pereira. Oh, raffy is such a cutup, especially when we go camping with oprah. Oh . Does that surprise you . No, o is what her real friends call her. I know paul mccartney. I negotiated with hamid kar ....

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MSNBC Morning Joe February 18, 2013

Everybody. Did you know its president s day . Oh, my what . The kids are home. Yes, they are. With us onset, msnbc and Time Magazine senior political analysis mark halprin and john heilman. Hi, willie. Hi, is this holiday casual . Shoutout to millard filmore. He wore that to the second state of the union. Thats fantastic. Your favorite president is . Can you say it . Kind of a big g. W. Guy. What . George washington. Oh. Number one. What about you, john . Growing up, who was your hero . I liked lincoln. I was a fan of Teddy Roosevelt the man. I dont know if hes the best president who ever lived, but the man. You liked the mustache a lot. Among other things. Minka . I might go with calvin coolidge. I was a big harry truman and Ronald Reagan fan. One started the cold war, one ended it. I thought harry truman was to fascinat ....

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