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Broken and crimeinfested places from which they came. Okay, this is besides the point, but, dude, youre from queens. [ laughter ] i would say you should go back and fix it, but i dont think any of the trains are running. [ laughter ] House Speaker nancy pelosi said today she will introduce a resolution condemning president trumps racist attacks on minority lawmakers man, nancy pelosi counterattacks from a president the way a normal person handles bad service at starbucks [ laughter ] go back to where they came from oh, you bet, ill be filling out a comment card [ laughter ] i am very dissatisf...

Called cummings primarily black district a, quote, disgusting rat and rodentinfested mess. Adding, quote, no human being would want to live there. Now, that sounds racist [ laughter ] President Trump today continued his attacks [ laughter ] on representative Elijah Cummings and the city of baltimore. Tweeting, quote, baltimore can be brought back, maybe even to new heights of success and glory, but not with king elijah and that crew. Well, okay bane. [ laughter and applause next trumps going to tweet, we have 12 hours to find what hes buried in the ravens 50 yard line. [ light laughter ] the c...

We know all about it. It. The list was compromised. Coi Kyle Broflovski is not the ugliest boy in the class. A [gunshot] gunsh wendy agh a wait i didnt do anything wrong you can explain all that downtown. Lain here, kyle. Weve been through a lot,yl but you can finally see where you really are on the list. You sure youre okay with this, kyle . Suro abe lincoln was right. Ab i dont want to find out im goodlooking and become a total [bleep] bag when i grow up. I don abe lincoln . Abe l stan, its been really great hanging out with you again. I feel like youve changed somehow. Ans in a really aweso...

People who netflix may be unable to chill over the weekend. So heres a little advice. Ive lived in some hot places. I lived in vegas. I lived in phoenix. What i do, i put my clothes in the fridge overnight, and youll thank me in the morning, just. The president put on a real scorcher of a show last night. Dont know if you saw any of it, but trump held a rally in north korea, i mean North Carolina last night. [cheers and applause] and i dont know if someone over there at the rally has a sense of humor or what, i doubt it, but this is the song they were playing last night before mike pence came ...

This crowd are a bunch of communists. Shut your mouth just say the phrase, say it coming up next, its jeopardy. No, were not going anywhere till someone says it or i will come over there and horse whip you with this tiny mic. Say it tone thats it glumplets. Announcer tonight the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, send him back. Plus stephen welcomes Norah Odonnell, topher grace and comedian Ahamed Weinberg, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause band playing stephen whoo hi there ch...