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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

You get elected. So good, so good that obama coalition. I was wrong, and im sorry. Are you trying to say that im dumb . Are you mocking me . laughter cheers and applause its the late show with live with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, dems do the charleston. Plus, stephen welcomes live governor Chris Christie. And musical guest Nathaniel Rateliff featuring live, jon batiste and stay human. And now, live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen oh, yeah come on whoa its live, baby beautiful beautiful the pipes the pipes. Hello, my friends cheers jon lets do it Live Audience Stephen Stephen
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Transcripts For KGO 2020 20240713

Could you believe it . Look who the kidnapper was. Oh, my god. Look, you know that we didnt bring you all the way up here to talk about video games. I needed to know where she was, like, now. And to find out, to trap him, theyre having his girlfriend wear a wire, maybe even risking your life. Im turning this thingy on. Its about 12 40. They want her to go undercover. The girlfriend is scared to death. Does this mean youre trusting me . I want to tell you. We see that he was on a group chat entitled abduction 101. It was a fetish, a fantasy. It was clear this was something he wanted to do. She started really freaking out. She fight . Champaignurbana is in the heart of champaign county. People who work hard. Have strong values. The university of illinois straddles both cities, champaign and urbana. The story itself plays out essentially on the u of i campus. From beginning to end. Its a beautiful campus. Its sprawling. Youtube was developed by two of our alums. Soybean was developed as a ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20200207



trevor: welcome to the daily show, everybody! thank you so much for coming out! as always, thank you! thank you! thank you! thank you so much for tuning in! i m trevor noah! our guest tonight is a writer and director whose animated short film hair love is up for an academy award next week. matthew a. cherry is joining us on the show! ( cheers and applause ) also on tonight s episode, how to win big on the z the worst way to be a millionaire, and neil brennan tell us what donald trump and 50 shades of grey have in common. so let s catch up on tads tads. let s kick it off with big health news. if you re a person who likes being alive and does not want to die soon, first of all, congratulations on being basic and, second, here s some good news for you good news this morning, americans life expectancy has increased for the first time in four yearserring according to a new record from the centers for disease control. it shows life expectancy rose slightly in 201 ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20200207



it s the late show with stephen colbert! tonight plus pat stephen well koment mayor pete buttigieg and patton oswalt, featuring jon battiste and stay human, now live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it s stephen colbert! (cheers and applause). stephen: yeah! hey, hi there. (cheers and applause) fantastic. very nice, very nice. how lovely. how lovely to be with all of you. no place i would rather be in the world than with you people right now. welcome to the late show. i m your host stephen colbert. (cheers and applause). stephen: so here we are. here we are, trump was not removed from office, which we never really thought he would be. so what now? wither the republic, some people feel that now there is going to be nothing to hold him back. trump unleashed, offer the rail, a, that s not a leash, it is just a really long tie. and b, there were never rails. not even those little bumpers they put in for kids to bowl, nothing. but trump s not going to chan ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20200207



the end of civilization didn t happen. a massive electric pulse completely erased the internet. we ve been given a second chance. a mulligan. anything we might be ashamed of, gone forever. maybe now boys and girls can learn to respect each other again. realize how careful our online lives have to be. because we ve all seen what happens when the twitters, facebooks, and trolls decide our reality. now that we ve been given this second chance, it s up to all of us to see what we do with it. and the first new e-mail since the internet was erased successfully went out at 6:00 a.m. today. the honor went to a mr. dave beckett of boca raton, florida. mr. beckett, you had the honor of being the first person to socialize on the new internet. can you tell us what you did? well, i sent an e-mail with a photo to my old friend thomas winger up in connecticut. and what did you say to mr. winger? i showed him my dick, called him a fag. from comedy central s world news headquarters in ....

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