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Thanks to kyle i got a golden twinkle in my eye aw, shit aw, shit captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com welcome to the daily social distancing show. Im trevor noah. Today is thursday, the 3rd of december, which means theres only 48 days left until donald trump is no longer president and can finally Start Building the first president ial library that has a ballpit. Anyway, coming up on tonights show drake wants to be in your house, ivanka trump wants to stay out of prison, and ludacris is joining me on the show. So lets do this, people welcome to the daily social distancing show. Announ...

You cant get through. The regular Customer Service line 8 00 to noon, forget it. Reporter Michael Hurley has been waiting since june. No faith in the system, none at all. Reporter the e. D. D. Blocked benefits saying they needed to prove they are who they say they are, like thousands of others they mailed in paper documents verifying their identity and then heard nothing back. I think im now in another reporter kim was told to wait eight weeks. I was upset. Because how would it be eight weeks to find my identity . I sent why eight weeks . Reporter the e. D. D. Required thousands of workers to ...

Save the post office, Michael Kosta tries to smuggle coronavirus on to an indian reservation and how donald trump intends to win the popular vote. Lets do this, welcome to the daily distancing show. From trevor noahs couch to your couch somewhere in the world, the daily distancing show presents the Democratic National convention, electing americas first black president s friend. Trevor so tonight was the first night of the Democratic National convention, and i was actually going to watch it but i was in a bust fight on ghost of tsushima. It was too late by the time i beat it. I promise tomorro...

[mellow native american music] [blows whistle] the cowboys kick it off. [grunting] [cheers and applause] hut hut hut hut [all grunting] hut hut hut. Hut hut hut hut [all grunting] [whimpering and coughing] hut. Hut hut hut. Hut hut [all grunting] all oh just stay down, for the love of god [feebly] hut hut. Hut [all grunting] stop make it stop just stay down please, just make him stay down go redskins go redskins boy, this is the life, huh, guys . We finally did it i might just sit here until my ass fuses into the couch. What the hell is that . [crowd booing] whoa, whoa what . Change your name ...

On, everybody . Welcome to the daily distancing show. Im trevor noah. It is monday, august 17, which means the Democratic National convention kicked off today in milwaukee. It also means theres still three days left for john delaney to maybe win the mom no nation. Youve got this, my man some of you may have noticed my face is a little swollen. I wanted to address this before people start rumors. I was walking to subway to get my usual 3 00 a. M. Sandwich, and this guy in a maga hat jumped out of nowhere and said, hey, arent you that super funny comedian from the daily show . And he punched me ...