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COM The Colbert Report November 7, 2014

He wrote a book. Which im pretty sure that he wrotewrote while he was supposo be working for me. laughter obviously he cant read or write so well. Its called no lands man. I mean he completely bleep the title. The phrase is nomansland. But he wrote no lands man which oh. I think hes clever. You should get it. Here it is, your moment of zen. Dallas is in london for the big game against jacksonville. Unfortunately, they used a bad social media hashtag. Hashtag cowboytioning sponsorey Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org stephen tonight, a medical breakthrough in south america. Have soccer players regained the use of their hands . Then, republicans are address Climate Change by burning the midnight oil. And my guest, Science Writer
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COM The Colbert Report October 8, 2014

Audience chanting Stephen Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen well come to the report thank you some for joining us cheers and applause thanks for being here cheers and applause we have a lot of work to do. A lot to get done. For those of you watching this show on a memory cube, thousands of years in the future, i want to ever you a hardy bleep blorp for joining us. laughter for those of you sharing the present chronosphere, its day seven of the Global Pandemic that some are call ebolapalooza. laughter not many. Just me so far. But its going to catch on. You can smell the fear, thanks to heroes like cnn who asked the question, ebola the i. S. I. S. Of biological agents . Yes, it is. Without a doubt. Scientists have long compared diseases to murderous madmen. Thats why epidemiologists call tuberculosis lung hitler. laughter one person who is irresponsibly calm is preside ....

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COM The Colbert Report October 9, 2014

Present chronosphere, its day seven of the Global Pandemic that some are call ebolapalooza. laughter not many. Just me so far. But its going to catch on. You can smell the fear, thanks to heroes like cnn who asked the question, ebola the i. S. I. S. Of biological agents . Yes, it is. Without a doubt. Scientists have long compared diseases to murderous madmen. Thats why epidemiologists call tuberculosis lung hitler. laughter one person who is irresponsibly calm is president barack ebola. Just listen to how the administration plans to ward off the rage virus. The Obama Administration is taking new action to prevent the spread of ebola. President obama said monday that Airline Passengers traveling from the ebola hot zone will soon undergo additional screening at both ends of their journeys. Stephen well, im glad ....

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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart December 20, 2014

Texas city. Its all because of this photo posted on an Islamic Militant groups twitter feed. It shows one of the companys old work trucks turned into an antiaircraftfiring weapon on the front lines of syrias civil war. Look at this picture. Marks company logo and his phone number still clear as day on the the side of that truck. Stephen yes, a texas plumbers work truck showed up in syria. Although, pickup truck, desert, giant machine gun that could still be texas. cheers and applause . Now, evidently thank you for your service, texas. Evidently, the trucks former owner Mark Oberholtzer of mark1 plumbing sold his Company Truck and has no idea how it wound up in syria. Since this photo emerged, his business has been flooded with phone calls and some threats. So just to clear things up mark1 plumbing has had to change th ....

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COM The Colbert Report December 19, 2014

What are you guys having . Uhhhh. Ill have a redds apple ale. Make it two. Redds apple ale. Crisp like an apple. Brewed like an ale. Jon thats the show. Before we gobviously as we always do, we check in with our friend Stephen Colbert at the the colbert report. Stephen, i am excited for your show tonight. How are you feeling . Stephen im always excited, jon. Jon but tonights very special show. Very exciting show. Stephen i like to think every show is special, jon. Its a Little Something called professionalisprofessionalism. Jon obviously youre not ready to share any feelings yet. Stephen what feelings . Im an emotionless, igneous news rock. Jon okay, i just want to say, have a great show. And are you ready . Stephen im more than ready, jon. In fact, jimmy . Grab it. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and ap ....

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