Now streaming on: It s not so much that the Earth is destroyed, but that it s done so thoroughly. 2012, the mother of all disaster movies (and the father, and the extended family) spends half an hour on ominous set-up scenes (scientists warn, strange events occur, prophets rant and of course a family is introduced) and then unleashes two hours of cataclysmic special events hammering the Earth relentlessly. This is fun. 2012 delivers what it promises, and since no sentient being will buy a ticket expecting anything else, it will be, for its audiences, one of the most satisfactory films of the year. It even has real actors in it. Like all the best disaster movies, it s funniest at its most hysterical. You think you ve seen end-of-the-world movies? This one ends the world, stomps on it, grinds it up and spits it out.
CANNES, France Going to see Godzilla at the Palais of the Cannes Film Festival is like attending a satanic ritual in St. Peter s Basilica. It s a rebuke to the faith that the building represents. Cannes touchingly adheres to a belief that film can be intelligent, moving and grand. Godzilla is a big, ugly, ungainly device to give teenagers the impression they are seeing a movie. It was the festival s closing film, coming at the end like the horses in a parade, perhaps for the same reason. It rains all through the Godzilla, and it s usually night. Well, of course it is: That makes the special effects easier to obscure. If you never get a clear look at the monster, you can t see how shoddy it is. Steven Spielberg opened Jurassic Park by giving us a good, long look at the dinosaurs in full sunlight, and our imaginations leapt up. Godzilla hops out of sight like a camera-shy kangaroo.