As you go forward on your journey to kindergarten and beyond, you will be well served by the lessons youve learned here its important to share. Dont eat paste. And if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be neat and wipe the seat. I wish i could tell you things will get easier and life will be nothing but crayons and baby carrots, but soon you will have to learn valuable lessons like how to use scissors with pointy tips. And, trust me, its always funny until someone loses an eye, and, even then, sometimes amusing. In closing, i would like to end by paraphrasing my character sebastien de valmont from dangerous liaisons, a story about a man in 18th century france engaging in multiple affairs your future is beyond my control. Congratulations, class of 2020. Ill be accepting tips and macaroni necklaces via venmo. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight no mask, dont tell. Plus stephen welcomes Vice President joe biden. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape fr
Youll not only get whats written in the book but also exclusive outtakes. So visit audible and download john boltons book as sung by michael bolton. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight justice is flynnished. Plus, stephen welcomes jon stewart featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen lets do it. Okay, lets do it. Thank you, thank you for your burst of energy. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Hey, you guys remember Michael Flynn . Its been a long, strange saga, so let me catch you up. Jim . Previously on Michael Flynn Michael Flynn resigning after the shortest tenure ever in that post retired general Michael Flynn pleaded guilty today to lying to the f. B. I. Flynns attorneys tonight filing a motion to withdraw his guilty plea the other side of the Michael Flynn story today are the actions from judge Emmet Sullivan who is attempting to proceed with possible prosecution. You neve
Have been accumulating enormous amounts of cotton balls, tongue depressors, even our urine just what do they need all that urine for . And dont bother trying to find a newborn baby, theyre all in hospitals hospitals if theyre so great, then why is everyone there sick . Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, stephen at home plus, stephen welcomes john oliver with jon batiste and stay homein. Now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen thank you. Thank you so much. Wow. Wow. Hi. Hi. Please please, have a seat. Thank you. We got to do the show. Im sorry. Thank you very much. Thank buddy. Welcome, one and all, to a late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Its good to be back. What have i missed . Anything big . Im coming to you from the late shows new temporary set the historic ed sullivan my house. Why did i wish to be home more on that cursed monkeys paw . Plus, now ive got to wash the monkeys paw for 20 seconds with cursed soap. Now, you may ha
Announcer its the laten. C. Plus stephen welcomes live, former National Security advisor and ambassador, susan rice and musical guest sheryl crow, featuring live jon batiste and stay homin. And now live from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen whoo welcome one and all to a late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Were live. I dont really know how because we generally do these covid shows with, like, bailing wire and duct tape to begin with, and i just want to give a shout out to my writers, the whole staff, the crew, for everybody making this. I dont know how. Chris, is it actually happening or are you humoring me . Its actually happening. Stephen its actually happening. It is night one of the Democratic National convention and theyre telling me its live. Ive got the bug in the corner. I tell you what, heres how we can prove it, okay. We can prove that its actually 11 49 while im saying this if you just look at a clock in the room where
Its afraid cheers and applause announcer its a late show live with Stephen Colbert tonight its joe time. Plus stephen welcomes live secretary Hillary Rodham clinton and musical guest the killers, featuring live jon batiste and stay homin. And now live from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen welcome ladies and gentlemen, to a late show im your host Stephen Colbert. Im here with my stage manager, my executive producer, my son johns here tonight two times and we have a huge night for you because we are live right there afer the final night to have the Democratic National convention, and it has been, whew, a whirlwind week. But now its over. Bobs your uncle and joes your candidate because tonight was the dramatic Season Finale of our d. N. C. Spectacular dramatic music democrats assemble. dramatic music are you fired up . power surge and so we fight it is what it is dramatic music bloomberg smash laughter stephen i did not expect that. Eve