We heard immediately after the fire was that firefighters weren t there. they were abandoned. i understand that frustration. communities were left, but not by abandonment, by inability to get the resources. we just didn t have them. those were some of the finest hours of our troops. they never gave up. i ve always looked to help people, to be what keeps them safe. and we did everything we could do. it wasn t enough, and lives were lost. the funeral of your child is the worst experience that a parent could go through. it is against nature, really. so one thing that was really incredible that our friend helped to organize for ashleigh
Not alone in that car. we believe that there was two. it was my sister and her angel. and we believe that in her last moments, she wasn t left alone in the back of my car, she didn t pass away in fear, in pain, that she had that angel with her to guide her to where she now lives. for whatever reason, ashleigh just didn t get out, that will never be explained. because ashleigh did die in my car, there s always going to be that sense of, could i have done more? could i have done things differently? but at the same time, if i allow myself to constantly relive that moment and constantly wonder, then i m not helping anybody.
Might be. i went into the smoke and i couldn t breathe. it was black. it felt like there was no oxygen going in. it felt like trying to breathe water in. and then i felt one of the sheriff s deputies next to me. and i just remember him pushing me back the other direction. and we got crawling back out of the smoke. where s ashleigh? she ll be coming out. you know, so she ll be coming with somebody. ashleigh was gonna be coming out. i drove to my mom s house crying, thinking, you know, i let everybody down. i knew the house was gone, i knew the the horses were gone. i knew anything that was left there was gone. and and, you know, i i pulled in and i said, it s gone. everything s gone. and i looked at his face and he had been crying. i could tell he had tears.
where s ashleigh? she ll be coming out. you know, so she ll be coming with somebody. ashleigh was gonna be coming out. i drove to my mom s house crying, thinking, you know, i let everybody down. i knew the house was gone, i knew the the horses were gone. i knew anything that was left there was gone. and and, you know, i i pulled in and i said, it s gone. everything s gone. and i looked at his face and he had been crying. i could tell he had tears. his cheeks were wet. and he said we lost everything. i was the one that was saying, you know, it s gonna be good. it s gonna be fine. you know, i ve lived through 20 of these. i m the man of the house. you know? and what decision did i make that was the wrong decision? i shoulda started sooner to try and get the horses out. i left. you don t realize what it feels like to leave something behind. something a living being behind. and at that point all i cared about was that he was okay. but right on the heels of that
For whatever reason, ashleigh just didn t get out, that will never be explained. because ashleigh did die in my car, there s always going to be that sense of, could i have done more? could i have done things differently? but at the same time, if i allow myself to constantly relive that moment and constantly wonder, then i m not helping anybody. we re homeless. we have nothing. we ve lost a daughter. you know, allyson s in critical condition. the doctors are not giving us any hope. our entire existence was being with allyson and jason and just holding ourselves together. coming up a daring ride down the mountain. i did not want to drive off that edge so i started yelling, i can t see the road.