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KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert July 12, 2024

Children get the virus. And we want to make sure that promise is followed through on. Ri . Announcer its a late show plus, stephen welcomes Norah Odonnell. And musical guest i. D. K. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen ready . Thanks. I truly dont know what to do about this hair. It is so what do you want me to do . Why dont i cut it for you . Stephen you cut away you dont want to. Youre afraid. Youre afraid, youre afraid. Im afraid. Stephen i have to do something about the hair because, i have to use so much product to keep this from happening up here. Just be shaggy. Just be yourself. Stephen just be shaggy . Because right now its got a very don jr. Look. Im not liking it. The deep tan doesnt help either. Go natural. Stephen au naturale . Okay. Tomorrow, no hair spray, no pants. Welcome to a late sho ....

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KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live July 12, 2024

Experts say ac can spread coronavirus by creating strong air currents that can move the droplets and contribute to increased risk. This is why i stay cool the Old Fashioned way, by getting drunk and falling down a well. Wow, remember 2019 when air conditioners were only killing us by melting polar ice caps and falling out of apartment windows . That was quaint, wasnt it . Remember that . I will say this, if giant windblowing fans are to blame, we may need to quarantine beyonce for another year. She has about 70 horsepower on her at all times. During quarantine, we should all be reading more, especially our kids. But growing up as a gay kid in the suburbs of chicago, i didnt have many books that spoke to me. I mean, Curious George was not curious about the same things i was, and of course, wheres waldo. Who wants to find that guy . Hes got glasses and a passport. That nerd can ....

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KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live July 12, 2024

The sheets are done. So he asked me to host i brought food. I didnt get one large platter with people picking up cheese and meats like theyre in the game operation. I adjust to the times. I made individual pandemic platters. For the crew. Enjoy that. Really the only place i go besides my house right now is to the supermarket and its a nightmare. I didnt think Grocery Shopping could become an even bigger pain in the ass, but it has. Ive got nothing but love for the workers. They are putting their lives on the line so we can buy mints to not smell our own mask mouth. But its the shoppers that bother me. They dont understand that we need to treat a trip to the Grocery Store like a bank heist. Get in, get out. There is no time to ask the butcher is this lamb chop from new zealand or montana. Lady, its lamb. Youre lucky the delivery guy doesnt have the virus. And dont bother chec ....

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KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert July 12, 2024

Noah cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus featuring john batiste and stay human. And now live from a safe distance its stephen colbert. Stephen welcome to a late show. Im your host stephen colbert. Its mid july and despite our best quarantine efforts yesterday america set a new record for daily coronavirus cases. Way more than we starnt started quarantining back in march it st almost as if that celebrity imagine video didnt help. Should we try another one. Maybe sugar pie, honey bunch. Sugar pie honey bunch. If florida alone new cases over the past week outstripped the total count in most european nations, that is a shocking vacuum of leadership in a state that i will remind you has an entil canwe just plug in annto e of o old guys and put him in charge. This country has really the pooch. Thank you, general. All the people in charge who told us the pandemic wasnt a big deal are looking big dumb right now like oklahoma governor and chonky dr ....

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KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live July 12, 2024

Ive got nothing but love for the workers. They are putting their lives on the line so we can buy mints to not smell our own mask mouth. But its the shoppers that bother me. They dont understand that we need to treat a trip to the Grocery Store like a bank heist. Get in, get out. There is no time to ask the butcher is this lamb chop from new zealand or montana. Lady, its lamb. Youre lucky the delivery guy doesnt have the virus. And dont bother checking expiration dates. It aint gonna kill you. You know what is, the guy sneezing on the plums and this one guy had a face shield mask down to his nipples. How much spit is coming out of your mouth this guy needed windshield wipers on the inside i go to check out. They got a hockey glass between me and the cashier now. No one can hear anything. Thats all i hear is. [ muffled ] the other place people are exhibiting unacceptable behavior right now is on zoom meetings. This is where you use t ....

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