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KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert July 12, 2024

I dont wear a mask for the same reason i dont wear underwear. Things got to breathe. Announcer its a late show with stephen colbert. Tonight donnie come lately. Plus stephen welcomes mary trump. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from a safe distance its stephen colbert. Stephen everything okay . You look worried, or is that just your attempt to stay awake . Put me in, coach. You are, thank you. laughs welcome to a late show, im your host stephen colbert. I hope you are all staying safe out there. Step one dont be out there, stay in there, because coronavirus is spreading like trumps backside on a lawn chair. And yesterday the president had his first covid19 briefing in three months where he announced some startling news hes noticed reality. It will probably, unfortunately, get worse before it gets better. Stephen as trump that is a Trump Presidency promise, it gets worse. You can take that to the bank. A ....

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COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah July 12, 2024

Career locking up criminals and filling up californias jails. Shes even friends with cops. Hold on. That actually sounds pretty cool. Mike, is it too late to change you . But jokes aside, congratulations to Kamala Harris. She is now the first black woman on a major party ticket, which is a great moment for her and for america. Moving on from our next possible Vice President to the next possible president of the United States kayne west. Since announcing his candidacy, the hip hop superstar and brokelooking billionaire has been scrambling to get on the ballot in as many states as possible. And, unfortunately for him, its not going smoothly. Kanye wests legal team is fighting to be included in er p. Well, heres the problem, though. The wisconsin Election Campaign all ....

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KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live July 12, 2024

Im a little less happy about guestparenting jimmys badass ki wlees ay hey, billy i told you, stove, boy when you burn yourself, just put some tussin on it. Anyway, dont worry, loyal jimmy kimmel viewers. Tonight you are in good hands. Good chapped overly sanitized hands. Id like to also say hello to my virtual sidekick. Are you there, guillermo . Hi, how are you . Im doing all right, brother. Tell me this, why didnt jimmy take you on vacation with him . Because hes a cheap son of a bitch. Ha, ha, ha. That we both know. Im here for free, and you get what you paid for. Now, i hope u l had a nice holiday weekend. Although this was probably the worst fourth of july ever. This year instead of fireworks we all watched our summer plans explode. Here in los angeles, mayor garcetti actually canceled all firework displays in the interest of covid safety. So instead the people of los angeles did this. These are illegal fireworks going off in the city of los angeles right now. Our helicopters been ....

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KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert July 12, 2024

Geai and musical gut aturing john bte and homin. And now, live from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Its midjuly, and despite our best quarantine efforts, yesterday america set a new record for daily coronavirus cases. Way more than when we started quarantining back in march. Its almost as if that celebrity imagine video didnt help. Should we try another one . Maybe sugar pie, honey bunch. Sugar pie, honey bunch in florida alone, new cases over the past week outstripped the total count in most european nations. That is a shocking vacuum of leadership in a state that, i will remind you, has an entire hall of president s. Cant we just plug an extension cord into one of those old guys and put him in charge . I cannot tell a lie. This country has really screwed the pooch. Stephen thank you, general. All the peop ....

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KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert July 12, 2024

These troubled dogs before this happens im donald trump, and i am going to hump your leg. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, masking for a friend. Plus stephen welcomes w. Kamau bell, and the chicks, featuring jon batiste and sta stay homin and now live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen did he do that . Did the dog eat your shoes . Yeah, you knew that. Stephen i thought it was a different pairt that he ate. Well, those look id chew those. laughter welcome to a late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. If you havent checked the sports pages today, coronavirus is still winning. The United States reported a single highest single day of cases today just behind the record set the day before. I looked it up in the i need a gu ....

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