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The votes were close, and then yeah, it is. Imagine if we woke up a week the graphics are definitely, like, later and found that a foreign 10 better than the old xbox. Yeah, that thats pretty nice. Government had hacked voting [game sound effects stop] machines and some of the votes you guys want to play outside or something . By americans. Trevor right. And we couldnt put it back cartman, your side won, dude. Together. That would be a disaster to our why are you so sad . Social order and, so, the time i just. I cant get the image of bill gates to really try to bring people bashing that guys h...

In the world who when she blows out her candles doesnt have to make a wish. Shes got that fan going all the time. If youre watching the show tonight, which you most certainly are not, happy birthday. [cheers and applause] it is nice to have something to celebrate. Because Everything Else in the world has gone completely nuts. There is a Catholic School in nashville, tennessee who has made the educated decision to ban harry potter books from the library. The man who runs the school believes the incantations in the book could conjure evil spirits. For real. Its an actual statement from the refer...

People take to the air waves to ask this very important c bieve its alrey ve it . C yo already . I cant believe its august, right . I know. I cant believe its already august 1st. I cant believe its august. I cant believe its already august. Hard to believe it is already august. Hard to believe it already is august. I cant believe but its already august 1st. Can you believe it is august already . We are in the month of you belie that . I cant believe its already august already. I cant believe its august already. I was just saying the same thing to another colleague. Can you believe its already ...

Space. We figured out how to stop guns, and alabama is going to be hit by a hurricane. So lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with brexit. The worlds most unsolvable puzzle. Yeah, its like if a 12 side rubiks cube was also one of the traps on saw. And just 41 days after bore is johnson came in saying he would get it done, yesterday he officially lost control of his government after members of his own party defected to the opposition. Yeah, in fact, johnsons entire day in parliament was complete chaos. The political turmoil in the u. K. Where new prime bore is johnson is facing ...

This is humiliating. Let me just tell you. No, no, no. We will get this before the credits roll. Is it steve bulloc scooby dooby doo, where are you . Its the late show live, with Stephen Colbert. Plus, stephen welcomes jeff daniels and katy tur and Jacob Soboroff featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause theme song playing stephen wooo live, baby cheers and applause wooo thank you, my friend. Hello hello, all my dear friend. Good to see you out there. Jon, good to see you. How is it going, ...