** [applause] >> greg: happy monday, everybody. so there is a new marvel movie out, and apparently it sucks. i haven't seen it yet because, as you know, i have better things to do. >> the new flock is courtesy of disney but the real marvel is how each movie they put out is getting worse and worse. the next hero movie should be the incredible shrinking box office, the latest marvel was the worst opening for any movie ever. even worse than ironman or little women. they got destroyed in that. in this universe women are as physically strong as men. i'm talking actual women now, not the one with five shadows who can pea their name in the snow but today entertainment is now secondary to diversity and every cast must be as colorful as a bag of peanut m and m's and twice as nutty. it's the universe according to disney. unfortunately that's the only universe where this crap is a hit and it's a universe that's as entertaining as counting the spots on biden's thighs. so as his numbers drop like -- on a hot day. they keep trying to get us to see movies with a message, but are they getting our message. have they finally realized that most of us would rather be dry saved with a cheese grater. apparently not because marvel has produced a movie so bad that it's makes hunter's cocaine buggers look like art. do we have a clip of the movie? >> well done. well, well done. >> greg: technically that's dog [ bleep ] but the reviews for the flick have been brutal. apparently the problems include the script, acting, the. kaing, the plot, aside from that it's a masterpiece. it's so bad the theaters are making counselorlers available to viewers after the film. it stars the woke bri larson who has never made a movie you've seen and she stinks so bad her first name shouldn't be bri. it should be linburger. some say she's a piece of ass if that piece happens to be her head. >> bret: but that's beside the point because she considers herself to be a gender activist. which to the woke means all men are awful unless, of course, they are -- apparently her super power is making talent invisible. as far as the script and the rest of the cast, who really cares. marvel focuses on good movie making the way the view focuses on cutting carbs. the woke idea of making all the super heroes a group of fully diverse females beating people up as if they are guys was based on the assumption that there is an audience for that. well, maybe if they are the u.s. women's soccer team. [laughter] >> greg: speaking of, megan rapino played her final program on saturday. it ended with an injury on the sidelines. who was to blame? of course it wasn't her. >> i mean, you know, i'm not a religious person or anything, and if there was a god, this is prove that there isn't. so, yes, it's [ bleep ] up because six minutes in, [ bleep ], my achilles, what the [ bleep ]. >> greg: her injury is proof there is no god. i would argue the contrary. [laughter] [applause] >> greg: yeah! during her championship game, proof positive that god is alive and well and has a kick ass sense of humor, you go, god. but this is wokeism in a nutshell. she got far on her woke credentials but when that ran out what are you left with? blame. once everything is stripped away there is no grace or humility. just a jerk blaming god or no god. it's the yoke of being woke. you expect the world owes you something and you in turn owe no gratitude but when the woke welfare wears off all that's left is an insip bid sermon and that's movies. the problem is these producers and directors think it exists and it doesn't. that's because the audience doesn't think like your average herald producer. they aren't cowards. hollywood wants a good movie. not phony signaling from a bunch of phony -- you want proof. it's in the numbers. has anyone noticed that women flocked to see barbie but not the marvels? barbie made a billion dollars acknowledging that people would go see a movie about a doll. a doll. they went to see a movie about a doll. that's because whoever made it must have actually had a childhood and recognized that biology dictates preferences, and that most girls left alone will play with dolls. while some guys, too, but those dolls are made in japan and need to be inflated. [laughter] >> greg: i don't speak for myself. but while girls played barbie, boys plays army or super hero. women flocked to it and they loved it even if the inspiration was a character made out of more plastic than your average kardashian. so the marvels is the biggest bomb yet and disney loses millions pretending women would pay to see it. it's a cinematic equivalent of a brian kilmeade book. nobody is buying it. but as it turns out thank god, women and men aren't attracted to a movie with a message that has no creative or artistic value. propaganda is like porn. you know it when you see it. so as long as hollywood puts woke before work or a decent script with good dialogue and solid plot and memorable characters we're just going to skip it but lucky for all of us, there are more pleasurable ways to spend your day like a root canal. an irs audit and even tonight's show. >> let's welcome tonight's guest. if you serve her glut, you'll have her tooten. kennedy. he's like a membership to planet fitness, impossible to cancel. actor and standup comedian tyler fisher. she's thinner than the plot to the fast and furious nine. your best-selling author. and he picks his teeth with the eiffel tower, comedian and informer, tyrel tyus. >> greg: kennedy, you're a female. >> what? >> greg: i know, it's true, and you're salvery, you know pop culture. you like entertainment. you have daughters. >> i'm not going to touch you with your bathing suit covers. >> greg: you were in their target demo. >> yes, i love marvel movies, always have and they have made some of my favorite movies over the last 15 years. it used to be they would put something out and the marvel creative universe was something that had the most intricate architecture and they are so smart about how they developed characters and spinoffs and put the pieces together, and unfortunately this must be a mandate from disney and they have lost the plot. it's sad. it used to be you could see a marvel movie commercial and you would say, yes, this guy is damaged but interesting and awesome and that was a smart, funny movie, but this, like, i caught a glimpse of it, i was like, i don't know what this is about. to your point, it's so expensive to go to movies anymore, why would you waste your time and money seeing this when the dialogue is completely predictable, and you don't care about the character? >> greg: that's so true. you know, tyler, i didn't see the movie but that never stops me from talking about it. >> sure. you're the expert. >> greg: i'm an expert at nothing that i actually do research on but kennedy makes a good point. those super hero movies are generally kind of funny. there is a lot of teasing. it seems to me there is none of that in this. it's more about teaching you something. >> it's all big ted talk. just watch a ted talk instead of a movie. it's all meaningless and virtue signalling. they want to show what they stand for and at the end the woman eases up and might fall in love but this time they hate the guys and that's it. i think that reflects the dating culture, is women, they want to be like their heroes. i mean, my x, her super power was emasculating me in public. >> it's going around. >> going around. >> bret: did you see barbie? >> no, but i liked the ryan gosling face so i watched all ryan gosling scenes. he just looked like -- he's not a good actor. he just looks like he's smelling a fart. he does that face. it's just like -- >> greg: that's true. that's all he does. >> that's not acting. >> greg: i could see it even with your beard. you could see it through my beard? >> greg: i saw it through your beard. >> no one cares about diversity and height. >> greg: tyler is actually shorter than me. this is the first time in the history -- >> your whole life. >> they stood back-to-back in the green room. i saw it. >> that's why i'm here, of course, the diversity hire. >> greg: i can lord over you. >> kat, you loved barbie, is it because you're a girl? >> probably. >> greg: would you go to this movie? >> i don't go to the marvel movies. i live too close to comic con. i see all of that and i'm like, no not for me. probably not but i don't go to most movies. barbie was the last one i went to. i want to talk about megan rap, if that's possible. i have disagree with you. i think she was joking. yes, she was joking and trying to use humor to make herself feel better about truly a tough situation. she was like this is my last year. you know, and it's over like that. i think that she probably wouldn't be that nice to me. >> greg: no, she wouldn't. >> but if i stop being nice to people because they hate me or did hate me a lot of my relationships would have been a lot shorter. [laughter] >> greg: that's a lesson to be learned that i didn't see coming. tyus, tell me about your feelings of marvel. you're an expert of these movies. >> i don't know if i'm an expert. they are all the same. all these stories that you always weave your monologue with a common theme and this one, it's how wokeism don't work. it's funny because the woke, and kat proves my point, kat puts herself above it and says, what she said was in poor taste but it was probably a joke. we don't get that. if kat makes a joke, then they want her to apologize the next day on tv or never work again because you made a joke someone may not like. she's making jokes that have zero sense of humor. actually terrible joke teller. she was mad, upset and wanted to blame everyone but it was her wokeness that allowed her soccer career to keep going. they tried to cut her before and she went to the media and made threats and all of this other kind of stuff and lo and behold they bend the knee to the woke. the difference is people aren't bending the knee at the box office. they don't want the woke story. no one has ever wanted the woke story. we've been tricked into thinking they had these huge numbers because they shadow banned and attacked us on social media but whenever they have to step out of that fake world of feelings no one has time for that like marvel used to tell good movie when is they brought in directors and producers who grew up, who played, who lived, and you thought, oh, man, that's great. that's great movie. i think it was thor. everyone loved thor and all of a sudden it became the wokeist movie of all time and they walked away from it. people are walking away from woke because they don't think that way and they don't want their kids that way. i took my daughters to see barbie. did i love it. no? did they? yes. if it's a godzilla movie, it's a costume, but, you know what? it's real to me. >> greg: i have a great idea. they should make a woke version of dirty harry. that wouldn't be amazing? >>, no it would not. >> greg: i would sow see that just to see them ruin me. >> you would see them rip off your face crying why did i not say that? >> why not blazing saddles? >> greg: we've got to move on. 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(vo) visit mytepezza.com to find a ted eye specialist and to see bridget's before and after photos. if we want a more viable future for our kids, we need to find more sustainable ways of doing things. america's plastic makers are investing billions of dollars in new technologies and creating plastic products that are more recyclable. durable. and dependable. our goal is a cleaner, healthier planet for generations to come. for a better tomorrow, we're focused on making plastics better today. - bye, bye cough. - later chest congestion. hello 12 hours of relief. 12 hours!! not coughing? hashtag still not coughing?! mucinex dm gives you 12 hours of relief from chest congestion and any type of cough, day or night. mucinex dm. it's comeback season. (car engine revs) (engine accelerating) (texting clicks) (tires squeal) (glass shattering) (loose gravel clanking) >> greg: thank you. [cheers and applause] >> greg: enough. you're eating into my time. stop. san francisco gets shiny so we can kiss some com any hiney. san francisco cleared out encampments, beautifying downtown neighborhoods and even power scrubbed train stations all in anticipation of this week's asia's summit. kind of makes you wish they would visit more often but the locals are furious, after it over it will take them weeks to replace all that urine and feces. they also erented high metal walls that progressives had previously called racists. but now they are good. san francisco rolled out the red carpet for diplomats after keeping it brown for everyone else. meanwhile, illegals from latin america are discovering the grass isn't always greener on the other side. even if they were hired to mow it. >> greg: is that racist? i don't know. faced with homelessness, they are ditching the windy city and going back to venezuela after a better life didn't exactly pan out for them. turns out most can't afford the crushing cost of ammo but chicago is -- seems like venezuela is a better option. i guess bidenomics is hitting everyone. as one said the american dream doesn't exist anymore. sadly it's a sentiment being expressed by another ethnic group, americans. we'll be right back. i'm kidding. we won't be right back. tyler. what's the deal here? what's going on? well, first of all, i don't think the wall is to protect people from attacking biden and xi jinping. it's to protect biden from the wind. he could be the first president to be assassinated by time drag. trump has to be thrilled. they said the wall is racist and now they are putting up the wall. everybody wants a wall, greg. everybody wants a wall. >> greg: di not know -- i didn't know you could do trump. >> this is now the great wall of china because it's in our country. [laughter] >> right? am i right? it's the hands. the little hands. >> greg: the little hands. that was well done. very well done. i did not know, that was pretty good. i'm a little blown away by tyus. >> a little shorter than you, cleverer than you. >> greg: he won't be on again. >> i'll take care of him, boss, don't worry about it. >> greg: it must be bad if migrants are leaving the united states for venezuela. >> they get here and they go -- >> greg: even with the free stuff. it was a long ass walk, you know what i'm saying? no, no, packing up, let's go. no, you can't come with us. >> greg: they are even rejecting our free hotels. >> that kind of makes you wonder, like where were they leaving? were they leaving the ritz carlton in venezuela? it's like the way it's projected to us, it's like they are running for their lives. >> greg: it was supposed to be asylum seekers. >> what, no a.c.? [laughter] >> we laugh but the ugliness of our administration toward our citizens could not be more exposed than -- you mean to tell me could you have cleaned this up all the time? you could have done knit but it was fine when people were being derivativen from their businesses and homes, beaten in the street, women couldn't get on the saab way to go any with respect to it was disgusting to walk. couldn't take your children outside, syringes and encampments everywhere. let's be honest. these are the guys who cut checks to the lobbyists, they are going to clean up the whole place. the saddest part is, the night, as soon as they leave, they will be cleaning up the fences and they will be back and then you will have weeks more of violence while they reestablish their territories and fighting and stuff, and they will be like, oh, sorry, we don't have the budget for it. sorry, guy. >> greg: they probably didn't even clean up the poop. they just stored it. they will bring the poop back out. we've got to get the poop back out there. >> they could have fixed this all the time. >> greg: that's what crazy. so we talked about this, kat, last week, i think it was last week, and we asked a simple question, where did the homeless where are they? under the bed? >> i don't know if this is true or not so this could be completely false, i think when detroit had the super bowl at one point they just threw a super bowl party for them. i think it's the thing that people have done and it's not really the most shocking thing for me unfortunately, to see politicians who are more concerned with keeping up appearances than they are actually solving problems, and it wouldn't be that, okay, like everybody, at least i hope it wasn't just my house growing up, but the house that people come over to visit is very different than the house when no one is there. we do try to make it look better, and we act better. but also, like my parents didn't let us dvr floor. >> greg: that's where you're -- >> we couldn't steal, we couldn't -- on the floor. those rules were always in place. actually, they didn't really need to be rules. i think we preferred not to anyway. >> did they lock your deodorant up? >> didn't have to do that. >> greg: an entire house based on the way we live. >> i would come back and my stuff would still be there. >> greg: kennedy, maybe this is a genius strategy, just make your cities so inhospitable that the migrants will leave. you do that, when you have people over and you want them to go, you start, you know, i don't know, doing weird things in front of them. you know what i'm saying? >> i think that's what you do in your shorty room when someone has stayed more than a day and a half at your cabin. >> it fell open again. >> but unfortunately, the homeless people and some of the migrants are the last ones to leave. so the first people who leave are the rich people, and then the rich people who own their big businesses, they are the first to leave, and that's what's happening to places like san francisco and portland now. like they are completely crateering and this is an about of desperation but it feels like we're living in an episode of extreme makeover home edition. this can happen quickly so i'm hoping that portland and seattle and l.a. are calling crews and saying, can you clean up our down down, old down, in a cursed let's pretend that the communist chinese are coming to every major city because they can do it. it can be done. >> greg: like reality show, host comes in, this is terrible. they do those sequential scenes, with the skies passing, it will take some time, and then they have all the world leaders with their back to the city, okay, everybody, turn around. wow! we thought this place was full of [ bleep ]. look, it's beautiful. oh, my god. some little lady cries, a waitress cries. i think i'm melding bar rescue with kitchen nightmares. i'm just going to shut up. >> clean up. >> yes. >> greg: up next, race invaders attack because a boy's eye paint was black. 12 hours!! not coughing? hashtag still not coughing?! mucinex dm gives you 12 hours of relief from chest congestion and any type of cough, day or night. mucinex dm. it's comeback season. rsv is out there. for those 60 years and older protect against rsv with arexvy. arexvy is a vaccine used to prevent lower respiratory disease from rsv in people 60 years and older. arexvy does not protect everyone and is not for those with severe allergic