BABY GOT BOUILLON Public Service Announcement: If you ever build a time machine, don’t travel back to the 1800s to give Frederick Douglass a briefing on the future. “Such wondrous things you describe! Air travel! Smallpox eradicated! People communicating from one end of the earth to another via small handheld devices that send information through the ether! But tell me…what of my people? What of my good and noble race?” “Well, Mr. Douglass, when I left they were injecting bouillon cubes into their anuses, but at least they stopped gluing their hair to their scalps.” “Can you go back in time to before you told me that and…just…not tell me that?”