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Run. His name is donald. laughter and. cheers and applause good man. And donald recently glided back into my life on his solid gold up and down people mover, cranked up the unauthorized millian, opened up his crazy hole and made a promise to me that i would never be without material again laughter when mexico sends its people, theyre not sending their best. Theyre sending people that have lots of problems, and theyre bringing those problems with us. Theyre bringing drugs. Theyre bringing crime. Theyre rapists. And some, i assume, are good people. laughter jon thats our donald trump reminding a...

President will be joining us not of the United States laughter just the french club. Here is your moment of zen. John mccain goes oh, boy trump makes my life difficult. He had 15,000 crazies show up. Crazies. He called them all crazy. I said, they werent crazy. They were great americans. If you would have seen these people i know what a crazy is. I kn tonightly twicedivorced muppet head donald trump mocks john mccain for being captured in vietnam. laughter yes, if only mccain could have evaded the north vietnamese as well as trump evaded that u. S. Draft board. laughter cheers and applause in ...

[laughter] 29 minutes long but it gets cooking around a 117. Im not going to screw around tonight as someone reminded me in the audience tonight [laughter] apparently if i understand it correctly, no ones interested in my [bleep] tonight. So lets just get to it. Ladies and gentlemen the 44th president of the united states. Please welcome back to the Program President barack obama. [crowd cheering] thank you. Jon you know, i am amazed and humble every time i come out here and get that ovation. Im just happy you were here to witness it. [laughter] what are you going to do. How are you . What hav...

I have decided to run for president of the United States. cheers and applause larry yay. John kasich laughter woo laughter applause man. Yay. laughter yay. laughter im tired. Another guy . Really . laughter okay. What do we have, like 43 guys running . Okay. J. F. K. , man john freakin kasich. laughter okay. You got to use that. What do we know . Well, hes the governor of ohio. Its a very important swing state. Hes known for working across the aisle. Hes open to immigration reform. And his state took some obamacare. Okay. So far hes okasich in my book. laughter seriously, heres my book. Right ...

Somebody cancels at the last minute, you think ill never get anybody interesting to talk to. This guy runs a Subway Sandwich shop, i go in there and i will be like what is that smell . He would be like, bread, and then we also have the Horse Carriage over there. So whenever i walk into the building, the two odors generally come together at the door and i end up thinking i could really go for a bleep sandwich right now. But that is not the case because we have the great historian, one of my favorites, David Mccullough, will be joining us with the Wright Brothers so, yes cheers and applause what...