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Sometimes the q a in the beginning gets a little out of hand is what im saying, but if youre like many of our viewers, youre probably watching this show right now while driving. And if thats the case, stop very dangerous, not because it pulls your focus from the road but because of the road itself. The federal Highway Trust Fund is about to become insolvent. Jon oh, my god [laughter] first of all, i cant believe our federal highways have a trust fund. Get a job. Your parents didnt pull themselves up from gravel just to have you lay there. Well, actually. Now, i know our federal highways are th...

But first, we turn to the middle east, where a group of Sunni Islamist militants have formed nation startup looking to gain market share in iraq. The group is called isis, not to be confused with their early 90s incarnation, vanilla isis. [laughter] anyway, the Iraqi Government has now had a couple tweaks respond to the rebels incursion. We should be getting news of the Iraqi Governments triumph right about now. Isis militants control the borderrary with syria, the border area with jordan and pretty much everything in between. Jon right about now. [laughter] wait did you just blow past everyth...

The guest tonight, were very excited, former secretary of state Hillary Clinton will be on our program tonight. Shes here. Let me explain something, though, she is here solely for one reason to publicly and definitively declare her candidacy for the president of the United States. [cheering and applause] no. I think. [laughter] if not, this is an abject failure. If it doesnt happen my career as a journalist may be over. Lets get to our top story tonight, americas Immigration Crisis kid edition. Since october, 52,000 unaccompanied children have been picked up trying to cross into the u. S. What...

Yeah, isis came in from syria, started sweeping east, yadda, yadda, yadda, the u. N. Now recognizes the Islamic Republic of isis. Isis running an entire country, it seems like fun, guys, but i think youre going to learn, running a country is not as easy as it sounds. Isis militants trying take over a hydroelectric dam. Providing social services and investing in electricity. On the streets of mosul, isis militants now direct traffic. [laughter] jon all right. First of all, my guess is that dude is not the top jihadi. Im sure the leaders like, you, grab your group, move toward baghdad. You, seiz...

Republican senator thad cochran of mississippi and Charlie Rangel, 160 years of life between them, 86 elected years in office, aaaahhhh if they were one man, they would have been born in 1854. Elected to congress in 1928. They would have died in 1944 and still held office for 70 more years. [laughter] and their name would have been tharly cockangel of the mississippi tharly cockangels and the basis for the tv show, tharlys cockangels. Both men were bailed out by African Americans. Its the subject of tonights democalypse 2014 always bet on black. [laughter] obviously the African American vote i...