Transcripts For WTMJ The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Transcripts For WTMJ The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20161004



musical guest, chance the rapper. and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 546! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: please. enjoy yourselves. welcome, welcome, everybody, welcome! welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show"! this is it, right here. that's the crowd you want. [ cheers ] you guys are the best! makes me feel good. thank you very much. guys, we're just four weeks away from halloween [ cheers and applause ] that's right. people pretending to be somebody else, going door to door for handouts, or as that's also called, running for president. [ cheers and applause ] here's the latest on the election. the saturday, "the new york times" released some of donald trump's old tax returns, which they say were leaked by someone inside trump's camp. [ audience oohs ] [ laughter ] or as trump's lesser known daughter tiffany put it, "want to pay attention to me now, dad? [ laughter and applause ] tiffany, by the way." and this is crazy. the tax returns show that trump lost about a billion dollars in 1995. trump was like, "what can i say? i thought furbies were going to be huge. [ laughter and applause ] so little. instead, it just wound up being my hair, and if you put it next actually, the billion dollar lawsuit was partly due to his failed airline. apparently, trump planes could fly further than anyone expected, then go into a tail spin the second they were insulted. >> steve: really? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know. >> steve: i didn't realize that. >> jimmy: that's what they said. this is pretty big. yesterday, lebron james wrote an op ed where he endorses hillary clinton. [ cheers ] yeah. lebron says he and hillary are all about the same thing, taking forever to finally win something. >> steve: hey oh! ho! ho! hey! >> jimmy: meanwhile, vladimir putin is shown on the cover of this week's "time" magazine wearing an american "i voted" sticker. [ laughter ] when vladimir putin saw the cover, he said, "it's funny because it's true." [ laughter and applause ] you guys see this? there were some reports about a a toxic insect known as the looks a lot like donald trump's hair. this is a real caterpillar. take a look. yeah. [ laughter ] unbelievable. there's even a children's book written about it. "the very hungry successful really fantastic caterpillar." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it's a great book. here's some celebrity news. lady gaga told "people" magazine that her new album was influenced by the men in her life. and taylwi stay in your lane, pal. [ laughter and applause ] on friday, arnold schwarzenegger was stopped in germany by a police officer for riding a bicycle through a train station. [ laughter ] schwarzenegger may have gone unnoticed if he hadn't been frantically ringing the bell and shouting, "get out of the way if you want to live!" what? [ laughter and applause ] get out of -- get out of here. have you seen this video? did you see this video? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. [ laughter ] simon cowell was -- did you see this, tariq? oh, it's great. [ laughter ] simon cowell was hosting an episode of the "x factor" in britain this week. and a lot of people thought he might have had a wardrobe malfunction. but turns out he was just sitting on his foot. [ laughter ] just check out -- check out what it looks like. i don't know. maybe i'm wrong. >> this girl is great. >> hello. >> how are you? >> i'm good. how are you? >> do you want to introduce yourself? la >> i'm caitlyn. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what? for a second there, i thought we were watching the xxx factor. [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> steve: cowell. >> jimmy: and finally, after some photos of the royal family's trip to canada were just published, a lot of people charlotte looks just like queen elizabeth when she was a a baby. well, let's take a look. here's princess charlotte playing with a dog she met up in canada last week. [ audience aws ] super cute. now let's look at the queen playing with some pets that she met when she was a baby. [ laughter ] i can sort of see -- [ cheers and applause ] the resemblance, right? we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, guys, it's monday! we're so happy to be back. we've got a giant week of shows coming up. tomorrow night, john goodman and lin-manuel miranda will be here. >> steve: whoa! >> jimmy: plus music from empire of the sun. then later this week, ashton kutcher, ben affleck, tyler perry will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] and we have great performances green day, van morrison will be here this week. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: it's a great week. but first, from the highly anticipated new movie, "the girl on the train," emily blunt is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: she's fantastic in this movie. later in the show, emily and i are going head to head in the game of "box of lies." >> steve: ooh. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: be sure to stick around for that. plus, he's got a new cookbook in stores this week, my man, chef mario batali. >> steve: hey, mario! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's the best, dude. he's the coolest. plus this guy's quickly becoming one of the biggest names in hip-hop. [ cheers ] yeah, ow is right! you can say, ow! yeah. you can howl if you -- yeah. at the vmas, kanye west called him the future. chance the rapper is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: ow! yow! >> jimmy: ow! chance has a big performance planned, then we're going to it's a great performance. you don't wanna miss it. it's really cool. guys, it is time for screen grabs. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ? make me wanna screen grab ? now, these are weird or funny things or weird and funny. >> steve: yeah, weird and funny. funny ha ha. >> jimmy: funny ha ha. yeah. >> steve: funny ha ha. >> jimmy: that you guys have found on the internet or other places and sent in to us. this first screen grab was sent in by nicole lopez-conti in san ramon, california. she was shopping on amazon. let'e frequently bought together, fiber one cereal and cottonelle. [ laughter and applause ] next one was sent in by janet price in lowell, north carolina, she was checking out some house listings and came across this description here. it says, "what i love about the home, i love sitting in my backyard and watching the squirrels and rabbis play." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: beautiful. >> jimmy: happy new year. >> steve: it's next to -- >> jimmy: it is cute. >> steve: it's so cute. he spotted a pair of boots for sale on facebook. take a look. size 8 and a half boots never worn, $10. never worn? really? i'm pretty sure there's a leg in that boot right there. >> steve: by a live person. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: next one was sent in by phil gaudreau in ottawa, canada. he was trying to play a video game called "medal of honor" and got this error message, here. "logout failed, you need to be please log in to log out." [ laughter ] >> steve: mind blown. >> jimmy: this next one was sent in by randy kelsey in eagan, minnesota. he came across a contest online to win dinner for two. >> steve: oh, wow. >> jimmy: take a look at this, right here. win this dinner for two. there's an asterisk. it says, "actual prize is eight porterhouse steaks. do not eat in one sitting." [ laughter and applause ] i don't understand. i don't understand. chip desimone in louisville, kentucky. he was searching on netflix for a show that his kids could watch. let's see what he found. "my little pony: friendship is magic." "life in this tinderbox of a a state prison is already hell, but it's about to get a whole lot worse." [ cheers and applause ] my kids love that. >> steve: they love brony stuff, yeah. >> jimmy: this next one was sent in by stephanie lacava in monroe township, new jersey, she was listening to some jams in her car and this one came on. sugar hill gang, rapper's deli. that's a classic. it was a sequel to the "rapper's delight." >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: rapper's deli. give me a beat so we can give it a try. ? i said a sub shop with chippies and dippies to the big sub shop and you don't stop ? ? a rock it to the bite bite hoagie say up jump the hoagie to the rhythm of the cold-cuttin' meat ? >> jimmy: hey, that's good. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] we sound good together. rhythm of the cold-cuttin' we're down to our last one. this is from luke brandon in nice, france. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: yeah, our show -- yeah, they love us in france, and we love you right back, france. he was on facebook and he saw a a guy in an ad that he says looks a lot like me. i don't know if i see it. take a look. [ laughter ] does that look like me? "feen-boosh-o-file." >> jimmy: "feen-boosh-o-file." [ laughter ] i think what it means is -- we researched. it means someone with a refined palette. >> steve: oh, like a fine mouth. >> jimmy: yeah and i definitely have that. i don't think it looks like me though, does it? >> steve: it looks like your dad. >> jimmy: let me try this. [ cheers and applause ] ?? where is it? ?? like that? [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] ?? [ cheers and applause ] not bad. [ cheers and applause ] [ french accent ] that is all the time we have for "screen grabs." if you have a funny screen grab, e-mail it to us at screengrabs@tonightshow.com and we might put it on the show. stick around. we'll be right back with emily blunt! [ cheers and applause ] [ distorted voice ] progressive claims to show people their competitors' rates alongside their direct rate to save you money. but what's really going on? when played backwards at 1/8th speed you can clearly hear... what could that mean? woman: tom? tom! they're just commercials. or are they? waking the neighbors. well, mom, maybe the neighbors need to be woke. i think it's actually "awoken." no, that doesn't even seem right. no, it's "awoken." revealing the truth to help you save. i had frequent heartburn, but...my doctor recommended prilosec otc 7 years ago, 5 years ago, last week. just 1 pill each morning. 24 hours and zero heartburn, it's been the number 1 doctor recommended brand for 10 straight years, and it's still recommended today. ?? ?? ?? ?? >> jimmy: our first guest is a a golden globe award winning actress who stars in the new movie "the girl on the train," which opens in theaters everywhere this friday. everyone, please welcome emily blunt! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? >> jimmy: it is so great to see you. you look gorgeous. >> it's so nice to see you. >> jimmy: please, congratulations on baby number two. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: that's right, was it two months ago? or something? >> over -- almost four. >> jimmy: oh, four, i'm sorry. i'm a little late in my congratulations. >> come on, keep up. >> jimmy: yeah, sorry about that. how's the other baby dealing with it? >> i mean we -- we were concerned hazel would be really actually, you know, she quite likes her. >> jimmy: she does? >> yeah. now, i turned my back for a a second yesterday -- >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> -- and i went to the kitchen to make her some lunch, when i came back to discover hazel just dragging violet off her play mat. [ light laughter ] just gently sort of just dragging her. >> jimmy: well, your baby, yeah. >> and violet looked a bit wide eyed, you know? >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i just said, "oh, hazel, i don't think we want to do that." and she goes, "i just want to get her in a better spot." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, she wasn't in a a good spot already, like oh, that's interesting. >> so on the wood floor as opposed to the play mat, yeah, sure. >> jimmy: much better spot for her, yeah. >> it's a much better spot. >> jimmy: is your kid getting your accent or your husband's accent? >> well, hazel had my accent for a really long time and would say things like "water," which i was really proud of and then the other day she goes, "can i have some water?" [ laughter ] and i went, "it's water." and she was like, "no, it's water." [ laughter ] i was like, no. shooting "the girl on the train"? >> i was. >> jimmy: you were? i didn't -- >> i was indeed, yeah. >> jimmy: i couldn't see. i couldn't tell. >> well, i had very hideous costumes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah, they did a good job of that. >> horrible overcoat. >> jimmy: stop you from doing anything, any action scenes? 'cause it gets a little -- >> well there was like -- i mean there are a couple of stunts in it, so i was being a a bit wussy about standing up too quickly in the stunt, and justin theroux, who is fabulous in the movie with me, he -- he's been a friend of mine for a long time and he was like, "are you pregnant?" [ laughter ] can't tell anybody." you know?" he was the only one -- >> jimmy: but he knew. >> yeah, he was the only one who found out, really. >> jimmy: because the stunt team, you were just like, "i'm going to go get you. hold on a second. [ laughter ] here we go. i'm going to come. hold on a second. we have to get away and get to the train." >> by the way, that was it. i said, "i think i'm worried i'll tweak my hip if i get up too quickly." and he was like, "that's insane." >> jimmy: yeah, you're too young to be tweaking your hip. >> too young. >> jimmy: yeah. i want you tell the story, because i think it's very which is fantastic. >> yeah, she is. brilliant in it. >> jimmy: yeah, she's great, but tell everybody because you were onset and her name was going to be -- >> so, lisa kudrow plays this friend of mine and we were shooting in grand central station, and her character's name is monica. [ laughter ] my character's name is rachel. [ laughter ] and so, we had about 300 extras and then we had actual commuters coming into grand central who ar speaker, "okay, guys, we're going to roll on rachel," and then they see lisa kudrow walking on and then they hear, "guys, we're going to do a a close up of monica," and i saw two people have an aneurysm. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh my god! what's happening? >> the "friends" reunion! >> jimmy: they were like, the "friends" reunion! >> they were so excited. >> jimmy: and yeah, so you ended up changing -- you changed the names. >> we had to change her name to martha instead. because we were -- we were sure it would get sort of a laugh in a test screening. >> jimmy: gosh. oh, interesting, yeah. >> you never know. >> jimmy: you never know. [ laughter ] but so the -- if you haven't read the book, "the girl on the train," it was the biggest book in the world, and uh, but if you haven't read the book, can you set up what the movie is about? >> so, i play rachel, who is a a blackout drunk. [ laughter ] and uh -- thanks! >> jimmy: we have someone barking at you today -- we usually allow two or three people. >> a nice like-minded person. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly -- >> so, she commutes every day to grand central from the suburbs, where she lives, and she commutes past this seemingly perfect couple who she watches from the train, and because she is an alcoholic, it makes her the most unreliable witness in a potential murder. >> jimmy: that's right. it gets tricky, tricky, tricky. i want to show everyone, and you were fantastic in it, by the way. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: i know i say this every time you're on and i say it to most people when they come on, but i do mean it. [ laughter ] i love movies. i love like -- >> i love that you admit it, though. >> jimmy: yeah, well yeah, i do, i love movies. and you're just -- you really are. this is you, this is what you look like. >> yep. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: look at that. that's -- that's -- yeah. >> this is a delightful picture that i would send john from set. >> jimmy: you would send your husband. >> just to really cement our romance. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, you went for it. i want to show everyone, and you're just fantastic. here's a clip of emily blunt in "the girl on the train." >> woke up covered in blood. and i had -- i had bruises all over my arm, and it's usually from when i've fallen and someone's helped me up. my husband, he used to tell me what i'd done the night before. and i learned that when you you just say you're sorry for what you did, and you're sorry for who you are. and you're never going to do it again. but you do. you do it again. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on. that's how you do it, emily blunt. emily and i are playing "box of lies" when we come back. very fun game. 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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back! i'm here with emily blunt. [ cheers and applause ] her new movie, "the girl on the train," opens this friday. emily and i are about to face off in a game of "box of lies." [ cheers ] here's how it works. upstage are a bunch of boxes containing objects neither of us have seen before. side of the table, out of the view of the other person. you remove the object from the box, show it to the audience, and then look at your opponent and tell them what's in your box. you might be lying. you might be telling the truth. your opponent has to guess either lie or truth. if you guess correctly, you get a point. if you guess wrong, the other person gets a point. [ laughter ] for more instructions, the first to two points wins. >> wow. >> jimmy: emily, you are a a guest. why don't you pick the first box. >> okay. >> jimmy: do you have a a strategy at all? do you think you're going to lie or tell the truth? >> why would i tell yo strategy? [ laughter ] that's my strategy is not to strategize with you, my opponent. >> jimmy: you already gave too much away. >> all right. [ laughter ] what number? [ crowd screaming ] >> steve: 28! [ crowd screaming ] >> jimmy: all right. this is all a part -- i'm guessing right now. [ cheers ] it feels like it's heavy. it looks like it's heavy. i'm getting all hints. >> god, what? >> jimmy: yes, yes. >> i've been trying to make it -- anyway. >> jimmy: feel light? >> i'm not gonna tell you anything. >> jimmy: mmm. mm-hmm. [ laughter ] >> oh, cool. [ laughter ] that's interesting. >> jimmy: okay. >> play. >> jimmy: so the audience has now seen it. [ laughter ] >> it's cute. >> jimmy: nope. now, here you go. this is where you make the choice. >> umm. >> jimmy: yeah. [ clears throat ] [ laughter ] >> it's a, it's an interesting thing. [ laughter ] so, um -- >> steve: what? >> jimmy: "it's an interesting thing." >> so, it actually happens to be, um, it's a record player with -- with a pizn [ laughter ] and the pizza's, um -- >> jimmy: spinning? >> spinning. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you pulled a a record out of the box? [ laughter ] with a pizza that's on it -- >> yeah, and it's, like -- >> jimmy: and that's spinning? >> yeah, and it's -- and it's a, it's a pepperoni pizza. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. you lie! >> you suck! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was the best. i played with the best. that was some good acting right there. [ laughter ] wow. how did you all lie went along with her too. like, it was -- [ cheers ] you had help. all right. which do i choose? [ crowd screaming ] >> oh, i'm watching you. i'm watching. oh, stop it. [ laughter ] [ babbling ] it's light. [ babbling ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: man! how do they -- why would they put that one on the top shelf? [ laughter ] that's the heaviest one. whoo! even this is hard to open. [ laughter ] >> i'm, like, trying to see over, which is wrong. [ laughter ] it's, like, close together, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] [ coughs ] [ laughter ] >> so bad. [ laughter ] i love -- why do you -- how do your nostrils, like, shake? [ laughter ] what? it's like -- >> jimmy: am i giving it away? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's how i act. [ laughter ] this is how i act. [ laughter ] in my box -- [ laughter ] it's another box. [ laughter ] >> it's a box in a box? >> jimmy: and inside that box is another box. it's interesting, because the number three. >> jimmy: three boxes? three boxes. [ laughter ] >> we're back. [ laughter ] yeah, make sure. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what do you think? lying or truthing? >> like, a lie! ?? oh, come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i know! i ow >> it was so boring. >> jimmy: it's really funny. i was -- it was a great idea. i love that one. [ laughter ] but, now it's down to -- this is it right here. >> they were laughing too -- guys, you're easily pleased. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no! that was very funny! >> it's not that bad. >> jimmy: all right. here we go. this is it. >> all right. >> jimmy: this is for the win. whoever wins this, wins and loses the whole game. [ crowd screaming ] >> five? [ crowd screaming ] >> jimmy: all right. so you already did one. [ chuckles ] oh, god. [ laughter ] now, will she lie? >> okay. ?? >> jimmy: you did the same reaction last anytime. you acted like you had seen it before. >> oh! >> jimmy: so you're, "oh, yeah, a record player with a pizza on it." >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: "i've seen this before." [ laughter ] mm-hmm. okay. [ laughter ] ?? [ laughter ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's messed up. >> it's just messed up, and you guys are sick. [ laughter ] it is a -- i don't feel i can't say this, having daughters. it is a my little pony with a a syringe stuck in it. [ laughter and applause ] that is wrong. [ laughter ] >> they're around. >> jimmy: yeah, interesting. [ british accent ] you got a little bit more of your british accent on that one. >> mmm. [ british accent ] >> jimmy: a little mustard as you say. [ laughter ] >> if i sound like you, i have a problem. [ laughter ] [ british accent ] >> jimmy: it's a my little pony with a needle in it. [ laughter ] yeah, i kind of gave it all away. awe, she looks sad. you lie! [ cheers and applause ] yeah! scary. ?? emily blunt! [ cheers and applause ] "the girl on the train" is in theaters on friday. mario batali joins us after the break. stick around, everybody. 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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an award-winning chef and author. he has over 25 restaurants, and his new book, "big american cookbook," is in stores tomorrow. one, let me tell you. [ cheers ] please welcome back my friend, mario batali! ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on! looking good. looking just like the cover of the book, >> i get to look at the band a a little bit better from over here on the couch. >> jimmy: you should, yeah. >> this is nice. >> jimmy: see the roots. >> hey, guys, you look great. >> jimmy: buddy, thank you for being here. congrats on this. what is this? your 11th book? >> it's my 11th book. [ british accent ] >> jimmy: it's your 11th book? [ british accent ] >> it is. >> jimmy: my little pony, and it's amazing. [ laughter ] >> that's all i got. i got no more english accent. >> jimmy: no, no. that was a good one. >> you keep going. all right. all right. >> jimmy: dude, it's fantastic. so, basically, you went all around america and picked your favorite things, and -- >> in the last 20 years, as i've been traveling around either on book tour or just on vacation, as i go to the groovy to the regular restaurants. and, i ask someone, whoever i meet, i say, "where do i go to find something that tastes like the wind smells when it blows down main street" -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> "on your favorite day of the year" -- >> jim: yes. yeah! [ laughter ] >> and they say, "you go to the rose caf?!" >> jimmy: yes! >> and you order the [ bleep ] on the shingle!" >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah! >> "or whatever it is." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't say that. they change the name! >> and i'm like, "and i've got to find that out!" >> jimmy: hopefully, they change the name, hopefully, yeah. [ laughter ] >> and i'm like, "give me the shingle, baby! i got to have the shingle!" >> jimmy: "give me the shingle. let's go. s.o.s. >> and, instead of writing it down, they tell me it verbally, and i kind of try to remember it, and i've got another guy named jim webster who's out there on the road with me. he is in the audience somewhere today, but we are out there. we finding out what's going on in america, and we just love this place. it is diverse, it is incredible, and look at the election season we've brought upon ourselves. [ laughter ] nothing weirder than anything going on in our world. >> jimmy: this represents america. >> and it's still delicious and tangy. >> jimmy: yes. >> it's remarkable. >> jimmy: well, i'm from upstate new york, and what -- [ cheers ] shout out. yeah. what's the good upstate new york thing? >> well, there's a lot of upstate new york. part of upstate of new york is attached to kind of the great lakes. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> one of my favorite things is beef on a weck. [ cheers ] have you had a cuomo weck, have you? >> jimmy: i've not had a weck, no. [ laughter ] >> a weck is a magnificent bread that is coated with seeds and salt, and they serve a a roast beef sandwich that looks a lot like that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: these are weck. >> now, there's a lot of cultural roast beef sandwiches all around america. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> this is the one from buffalo. >> jimmy: b-lo? >> and i actually love it. are we tasting? >> all right. >> jimmy: dude, this is fantastic. >> a beef on a weck, it's what's for dinner. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's not what they say. dude -- >> what do you think? >> jimmy: that might be the tastiest thing i've ever had in my entire life. >> so, this book is filled with recipes just like that that are all very, very simple to make. they aren't all gussied up. they are not restaurantified. and you can buy all the ingredients at your regular grocery store all over america. >> jimmy: you're the man. are -- i don't have a napkin here. uh, they, uh -- [ laughter ] thank you. um, the -- you are not a -- you're not a wine snob. >> no, i love wine. but i don't -- >> jimmy: yeah, you're not like, "oh, i could never have that with this." or, "this this is" -- >> no, no, no. what's important to me is that everyone that's at the table feels comfortable tasting the wine. so i always say, "just taste it. see what it feels like." you can't say anything wrong. >> jimmy: yeah, plus i want to see if you can tell the difference between boxed wine and a very expensive wine. [ cheers ] >> i accept that challenge. >> jimmy: let's go. let's take it. let's take it. we've got higgins over here. [ cheers and applause ] ?? you're not tapped. all right. what's up? here we go. >> steve: all right. for this taste test -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: we have two different kinds of wine. >> jimmy: two different kinds of wine. >> steve: one is very, very expensive. >> jimmy: yeah, the other stuff. >> steve: the other -- >> jimmy: we know. we just said this. >> steve: this is from a box. >> jimmy: that's correct. >> steve: blindfold -- >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> steve: because the taste tests, blind, are better. aren't even labeled. >> steve: put it on. this is number one. [ laughter ] number one. >> jimmy: this is, like, a a misstep already. >> steve: all right. you put it on. >> jimmy: why would you -- >> steve: it's number one. you're going smell it ,and you know it's not number one or else it would be yellow, but it's number, wine number one. >> jimmy: grow up! >> i can't wait to taste it. >> jimmy: grow up! >> steve: smell number one. >> jimmy: yeah, doesn't smell like number two. wait. >> okay. >> jimmy: hold on. hold on. [ laughter ] >> ready? >> steve: you're smelling number two? >> jimmy: wait, i'm gonna move -- >> steve: stop. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm going to move my nose into it. okay. stop. [ laughter ] doing that. >> steve: i'm not moving. >> jimmy: you don't move. >> steve: i'm not moving. >> jimmy: then don't move. i'll just put it under my nose. >> okay. where is it? >> jimmy: is it near me? all right. i can hear myself. [ laughter ] >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. >> can i spin it? >> jimmy: all right. >> can you spin it? >> steve: i'll spin it. >> jimmy: are you spinning it? >> steve: i'm spinning it. >> it doesn't smell like it's being spun. all right. get ready to taste it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. that's, that's that's, that -- [ cheers ] >> hey, there you go. >> jimmy: what is wrong with you? >> steve: but, do you know what? that was rude. >> jimmy: why would you -- i don't even trust you. >> steve: because i'm a child. >> jimmy: but why would you -- him on purpose. [ laughter ] i will not do that again. >> jimmy: will you -- >> steve: i swear to you, i will not do that again. i won't spill any wine on your wine your shirt. >> jimmy: what happened? >> steve: i spilled wine on him. i threw wine on him. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that was boxed wine by the way. [ laughter ] >> steve: all right. >> i thought it was pretty good. >> steve: this is number two. >> jimmy: yeah, no. do not -- >> steve: i will not -- >> i swear to you -- >> jimmy: do not, do not, yeah. >> steve: i will not do that. i promise you i will not do that. smell. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> steve: can you smell that? >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> steve: okay, mario, can you smell this? >> i can't smell it yet. >> jimmy: am i still smelling? >> jimmy: mm-hmm. yes. [ laughter ] why did i trust you? why would i trust you? [ cheers ] >> steve: that was not me! it was him! >> jimmy: why would i trust you? >> steve: i did not do that. [ cheers and applause ] i would not do that to you. i would not do that to you. >> jimmy: that was the expensive wine. >> steve: yes, you're right. jimmy's right! it's the expensive wine! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you guys, mario batali! [ cheers and applause ] pick up his latest book, "big american cookbook," on sale tomorrow. chance the rapper performs for us after the break. ?? initiating retrieval sequence. activating thrusters. target acquired. astronauts can vote from space. take a break from the election with red or blue tea. first kid you ready? by their second kid, every mom is an expert, and more likely to choose luvs than first time moms. live, learn, & get luvs. you love all-day breakfast. but you don't love that you can't get all your favorites all day. i don't love that. but now you're gonna love that you can get more all day. like mcgriddles. i love mcgriddles... so you'll have to find something else to not love. hey buddy! like exploding fist bumps. pggggggghew! or forgetting what you're about to do. wait...what was i about to do? or when people who say you look like... james lipton. oh man...it's uncanny. get more choices you love, now with all day breakfast. was always more than a color. and style, was more than what you wear. there's more to emma than you'd expect, and she's always found her more on ebay. you can find your more on ebay too. shop fall fashion today. my mother passed 2003, to be a great athlete or whatever but, you need to make sure you get your college degree. sometimes i call the house, just to hear her voice. (phone ringing) answering machine: hi, leave a message after the beep. (beep) hey mom, this is larry. i just want to let you know that uh, i fulfilled the promise that you held me to. love you. devour, say my name! you naughty little... did you just spank your lunch? yes. nice. food you want to fork. ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is in the midst of his magnificent coloring world tour, in support of his groundbreaking mixtape, "coloring book." performing "blessings," featuring anthony hamilton, ty dolla sign, raury, and dram, please welcome chance the rapper! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? ?? ? are you ready are you ready are you ready ? i speak of promise land soil as soft as momma's hands running water standing still ? ? endless fields of daffodils and chamomile rice under black beans ? ? walked into apple with cracked screens and told prophetic stories of freedom ? ? found warmth in a black queen for when i get cold like nat king i'm doing the dad thing ? ? i speak of wondrous unfamiliar lessons from childhood ? ? make you remember how to smile good ? ? i'm pre-currency post-language anti-label pro-famous i'm broadwa joe namath ? ? kanye's best prodigy he ain't signed me but he proud of me ? ? i got some ideas that you gotta see ? ? make a vid with shorty and they ship it like the odyssey ? ? they never seen a rapper practice modesty ? ? i never practice i only perform ? ? i don't even warn i don't eat it warm i won't be reborn ? ? i speak to god in public i speak to god in public ? ? he keep my rhymes in couplets he think the newish jam ? ? i think we mutual fans i used to dance to michael i still pass out music ? ? the people's champ must be everything the people can't be ? ? i'm getting artsy-fartsy house full of some hebrew brantleys ? ? you must've missed the come up i must be all i can be ? ? call me mister mufasa i had to master stampedes ? ? i made it through made it through made it through ? ? and everything i gave to you i gave to you i gave to you ? ? you got it you got it you got it ? ? it's coming ? so are you ready are you ready ? ? are you ready for your blessings are you ready for your miracle ? ? are you ready for your blessings are you ready ? are you ready for your blessings are you ready for your miracle ? ? are you ready for your blessings are you ready for your miracle ? ? are you ready so get you ready get ready are you ready ? ? so get ready are you ready so get ready ? ? are you ready so get ready ? are you ready for your blessings are you ready for your miracle ? ? are you ready for your blessings are you ready ? are you ready for your blessings are you ready for your miracle ? ? are you ready for your blessings are you ready for your miracle ? ? are you ready are you ready aru for your miracle ? ? are you ready are you ready are you ready are you ready ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yo, yo, yo! chance the rapper, anthony hamilton, ty dolla sign, raury, and dram. we're talking to chance after the break. stick around! how about that! [ cheers and applause ] you don't put lighter fluid on a gas grill, do you?! he's about to set himself on fire. whoa. freaky fast. bam. ? mmmh. have mercy. can't stop loving -can't stop loving you! ? ?? ch >> jimmy: welcome back. we're back with chance the rapper. come on right there, chance the rapper. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> thank you for having me back, man. >> jimmy: please, every time you come on, it's something different and cool and i love it, and i just love what you're doing and for the whole -- everyone who doesn't know -- who don't know chance the rapper, you don't sell your music. >> no. >> jimmy: it's free. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you know -- how do you make money? >> yeah, well, i'm on tour right now, i'm a touring artist. as music grows, there's always new ways of releasing, and, you know, there's visual albums and, you know, full concerts and big broadway musicals, and in so many ways the music moves around now, like, i feel like trying to fit it into a a for-sale album is kind of obsolete now. >> jimmy: really? >> so it's like -- yeah, it gives me more space to create and put out stuff. streaming only album to chart on billboard, number eight. [ cheers and applause ] "coloring book." i just think it's -- it's called "coloring book" and it's -- >> emerged. >> jimmy: i brought you a gift. >> i appreciate it. >> jimmy: that's for you. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's my color, man. that's my color. or black looks good, too. >> jimmy: yeah, perfect. [ cheers ] >> give 'em both sides. >> jimmy: yeah, i look like luke from "the gilmore girls." that's a shout out to "the gilmore girls." so you're on tour now. where are we going to see you? what are you doing? >> yes. so, i just played meadows fest in new york last night. >> jimmy: do you like the big festivals or do you like the smaller clubs or do you like them both? >> honestly, festivals, there's a lot of logistical problems, like, you know, playing a big fest, there's too many artists and you gotta find catering and all types of stuff. i like it when it's just my show, you know, and i show up and, you know -- >> jimmy: do it up. >> do my thing. >> jimmy: you really do. you thanks so much for coming back. >> no, thanks for having me. >> jimmy: you always bring it. we love you. chance the rapper, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] my thanks to emily blunt, mario batali, chance the rapper, anthony hamilton, ty dolla sign, raury, d.r.a.m. and the roots from philadelphia. happy birthday, tariq! happy birthday, dude. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thanks for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer:from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- chat and pizza making with martha stewart. from "the girl on the train," actress haley bennett. featuring the 8g band with stanton moore. ?? [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers, this is "late night?" how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. well, it looks like this year we can all claim donald trump as a dependent.

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