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Gutfeld

slave >> kat: hmm. >> greg: i thought the face that i made was very interesting >> kat: it made me a little uncomfortable. i looked away pretty quickly. >> greg: yeah, i try that at airport bars and it doesn't work >> kat: okay. yeah, i guess. i mean there's certain things they could do for us. i don't think it would ever be able to replace humans being in movies or tv shows because part of the reason people like watching movies or movie stars or people on tv is that they're human beings and they like to either really like them or really hate them. they like to project a lot of their own [bleep] onto a stranger they see on tv. i see you guys out there by the way, some of you out there. and they won't be able to do that with a robot. it's creepy and weird and greedy but i think ultimately our own creepiness in humans that seeks that out in strangers will win out in the end. >> greg: that's true. human beings are strange animals. i don't think there can be an ai

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Gutfeld

always have lots and lots of people who do know whose it is because cocaine is not really a drug that makes you not talk. >> greg: yeah >> kat: this person does so much blow that they're bringing it to work? this person does a lot of blow. they're not like, they're not not telling hundreds of people. >> greg: yeah >> kat: they don't know how to shut up because they're doing cocaine. >> greg: in fact that's a great strategy for the secret service bring everybody in and just give them coke and then you interrogate them. what do you think? give them coke. >> carley: get to the bottom of it. >> greg: it is a truth senior um, an exaggeration of a truth serum. not that i would know. you're not going to answer me? >> kat: should cops give people coke and interrogate them? >> greg: yes, serious question >> kat: i guess if they ask for

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Gutfeld

>> greg: yes, it's friday and you know what that means, huh? i really have to go to the bathroom. but i'm not. i'm going to wait until it's over. let's welcome tonight's guests. this early bird sure is special, fox and friends first cohost carley shimkus! [cheers and applause] >> greg: believe it or not, he's the only guy on the show tonight named hotep, youtube host hotep jesus! [cheers and applause]. >> greg: he looks like the guy who came to cut down your trees. comedian jim florentine! [cheers and applause] ♪ >> greg: and, finally, she's the first author to weigh less than her book, fox news contributor kat timpf! [cheers and applause] >> greg: all right. yeah, lively bunch tonight. okay, before we get to some new stories it's friday.

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Gutfeld

last friday, the dutch, the dutch government collapsed. this after they couldn't agree on splitting a check for lunch. i know, it's stupid, but -- should i explain it for people who are under 40 what dutch used to mean. you know what it means, kat. [laughter]. >> greg: a new jersey couple stole $91,000 from a youth soccer club to pay for a trip to disney world. yeah, like 91 grand would cover it. [laughter] >> greg: after an e learning i can reaction to smoking while on anti biotics an ohio man's tongue turned green and hairy. doctors say they haven't seen a tongue this green since ms piggy and kermit went to third base. yeah. where do you think her hand is

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wealth. >> kat: usually paired with a gold chain. >> greg: yes, that's right. what they're saying is i am so rich i'm forcing you to look at all of this and i don't care. i don't care. take a look. take a look. i don't know what i'm doing, jim. jim, you don't seem like you've ever opened a speedo but i get the feeling that you've flossed with one. >> jim: look, i would be afraid to wear a speedo on the beach because i would just be like someone's coming up and go oh, are you in the middle of transitioning? there should be a rule of thumb when it's speedo. if you work out for two hours a day on your body you can wear a speedo like that dude. if you spend two hours eating lunch and dinner a day, you can't eat one. >> greg:. >> greg: exactly. i figure carley you do a lot of research, so why do they call it a speedo. >> carley: no, i don't. well, maybe it makes you faster,

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Gutfeld

>> kat: it wasn't you. it wasn't you. >> greg: it was somebody with a beard though. >> kat: you know who you are. i told them when they walked in the green room to your face. flush the toilet. that's not rude of me. what's rude is to piss all over my workplace. >> greg: i'm used to getting pissed on >> kat: well you pay for that. >> greg: i do. i do pay for that. so what show -- it's in the studio so it's a show that tapes in the studio >> kat: they know who they are. >> greg: maybe we can get the secret service on this, huh? >> kat: you didn't need the secret service, the dude just walked out like this is fine, there's no problem with this >> greg: he was swearing. i was walking in when he was walking out and he was going -- >> kat: really? oh, yeah, i'm the one with the problem. i cleaned up after him, not even a thank you. >> greg: yeah. well, i think if he's watching and he was a fox guest >> kat: send me a fruit bask or something, we'll call it good. >> greg: no asparagus.

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Gutfeld

>> greg: yeah. this is a lighter question from rock and roll high school asks, what was your best part-time job or summer work that you ever had. kat? >> kat: none of that was good. i don't know. i guess all the restaurants i worked for are interchangeable. oh, wait, no, probably my job at california pizza kitchen, because, yeah, i had to live with a guy that was there because i didn't have a home. >> greg: that's why you liked it. >> jim: it wound up bealing useful. >> greg: you met some dude. >> jim: yeah, you could call him that. >> greg: yes. i don't know if i want to know anymore about this. >> jim: there's more in my book, if you do. [cheers and applause] >> greg: jim? i feel like you had a lot of weird summer work that involved heavy lifting, moving, stealing. >> jim: yeah, well, work in construction sites picking up gar beige. landscaping i did a lot of landscaping. >> greg: you look like a

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Gutfeld

>> a story in five words ♪ >> greg: five words: speedos are making a comeback. look at that stock photo that we're using. >> carley: oh, wow. >> greg: i know. i guess that was when i was on vacation. kat, in the u.s., that's short for united states. i got that from kamala. [laughter] >> greg: the speedo brand reports a 54% sales increase from 2020 to 2021 and are expecting to exceed this for 2023. are we assuming that speedos are coming back or maybe they just never went away >> kat: they didn't. there are three communities that still enjoy the speedo. that's europeans. gay men, and then like the fattest hairyest most letered and weathered old men that you've ever seen in your life. >> greg: that's a symbol of

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Gutfeld

landscaper. >> jim: i would do it just for the and the, because i wanted to get tan in the summer so i figured i could get paid and be in the sun at the same time and my hair would turn blond because i was in the sun, it would help me get laid so that's why i did it. >> greg: i just feel like i've known you all my life. carley. >> carley: but that's like very true >> jim: oh, yeah. because i go up two notches on a scale of 1-10 when i have a tan. i do. whenever someone thinks i am i'm always two notches better with a tan. >> greg: it somehow means you have more money because you're outside more. the tan always says i don't make you work. >> carley: and it makes you thinner. >> greg: does it? yeah. >> carley: i was a waitress at applebee's. i was not a good waitress. >> greg: all hot chicks say that. right? >> kat: i was the worst waitress in the world so i must be beautiful. >> carley: wait, there was a compliment in there and i

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Gutfeld

[cheers and applause] [la [lau[laughter] >> greg: but you know what? perhaps we'll never know who it is, right? like we don't know who killed epstein. we don't know who killed jfk. secret. >> hotep jesus: i know who did it. i know whose coke it is, i know whose blow it is, i'm just trying to figure out howy don't know. >> greg: yeah. >> hotep jesus: this is your job. >> greg: yeah >> we all know whose it is. >> greg: just proof that, kat, you and i made a mistake, you being a libertarian and me being a republican for so long, should have just been democrats. we could get away with anything >> kat: well, i don't know. i've made a lot of mistakes. >> greg: that's true >> kat: but i think that if there's a bag of cocaine, you

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