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Feeling the sublg pressure . I dont have that much time. Plus e. T. Othe set of the final else of fuller house. Ive got a flashback surprise for jodieweetin. Youre not going to make me cry. Get the tissues now. I cant do it. News on the behindthescenes dma at americas got tent. Oh, ceo. This week a few former agt judges spoke out as an investigation was launched into why Gabrielle Union w reportedly fired. Heres the latest. What do u makef howard stern slammi simon on his radio show . It the way he feels. I agree wh a lot of it. H is it that that freak simon cowell hasrchestrated this . He has set it u that the m stay no matter how old they are, no matter how fat they are, no matter how ugly they are. You know, simon owns the show. He can d whatever he wants. This is the ultimate example of a boys ub. It is a boys club. Abc investigate agt and two former judges speak out. Sharon osborne andoward stern, who slammed son cowell on h ....
Come on in, tina. you look wonderful tina yeah, you look fine. Ms. Burns, maam, ill never get away with this. What do you think, ms. Martin . You look fine you wont have any trouble. All youve gotta do is remember the three words in italian that mario the hairdresser taught you. Hello, goodbye, and thank you. Now, how do you say thank you in italian . Gratzi, maam. Ah, you can fool anybody. Whats she gonna do in between those three words . Yeah, what . Well. What every famous italian actress does come with me. What do they do . Eat grapes eat grapes . Well of course. You see, when somebody asks you a question, you put a grape in your mouth and then they dont expect an answer because its very impolite to talk with your mouth full. Gratzi, maam. Oh, terrific you know, she may not even need those two other words. She looks fine. Oh, blanche, this was your idea. And when she becomes a great star, everybody will congratulate you. Now, let me hear you say hello in italian. Bonjourno, maam. O ....
That ronnie needs the boat. How are you going to do that, tell him this is holland and the dike broke . I told you blanche would come up with something good. Go ahead, blanche. Well honey, i was being sarcastic. Oh. Mr. Von zell, you have the floor. I thought we could tell george that ronnie needs the boat for his health. You know, the salt air . Tell dad i need it for my health . Thats a wonderful idea, ronnie oh ho ho, if blanche couldnt think of something, i knew you could. audience laughter oh, gracie, i was please, mr. Von zell, you had your chance and you couldnt come up with anything. Well, i just started to say, it was now, remember ronnie, if you want the boat, you have to make your father believe its for your health. So go up and see him, and start coughing. Coughing . Oh, mother, i couldnt do that. Well, all right, ill go with you and do the coughing for you. You just cover your mouth and your father will think its you. audience laughter [george] maybe i could think of somet ....
Like, pumpernickel is a funny word. Except for people who make white bread. And freeway is a funny word, which is a good thing to know. In case youre stuck on one for seven or eight hours, you can sit there and laugh. audience laughs another comedy word is motherinlaw and hotrod. And of course, smog and brooklyn. My writers once wrote me a surefire gag. It went Something Like this. A man driving a pumpernickel truck got lost in the smog on the freeway. And hit a hotrod driven by a motherinlaw. audience laughs it didnt get a laugh. Forgot to use the word brooklyn. audience laughs see, its foolproof. When gracie and i first started in vaudeville, i was supposed to tell all the jokes. And our opening was supposed to be where we did that real old classic. Id say my family were in the iron and steel business. And gracie was supposed to say really . And id say, yeah, my mother irons and my father steals. We walked on the stage that nigh ....
Hi. hello, boss. Hello, harry. I was just going to mail this letter but you can save me the trouble. Oh, sure, whatcha doing . Oh, nothing important, just doing a rewrite on next weeks script. Nothing important . I just wish that all the people who say you have no talent could see the work you do on the show. Gosh. Who says ive got no talent . The people that see you on the television. laughter i mean they wouldnt know the work that you put in to the preparation of the show. Yeah, harry, the letter i just gave you well dont worry about the letter, ill mail it. But the thing is, you oughtta realize george, the people have no, well for instance, hiring the writers. Hiring the actors. And the announcer for next season. I was yes, i was waiting although my option isnt due for 10 more days. Yeah, i was waiting for but youre too sharp of a businessman, youre not gonna want to lose a good announcer. No, no no, am i in danger of losing a good announcer . Well, ive had some pretty good offers y ....