Trash Report News Today : Breaking News, Live Updates & Top Stories | Vimarsana

What's happening, hot stuffs? Welcome to The Trash Report: President's Day Edition! Today we'll be asking the hottest question: WWGWD? Yes, Trash Pandas, that's What Would George Washington do? Warning: the Founding Fathers were problematic to say the least, so he will be a bad judge. Today is one of those holidays that some employers honor and some have never heard of; if you have to work today, simply let your boss know that they'll...

Happy new year, darling baby Trash Pandas! Welcome to the first Trash Report of 2024. The changing of the year is always a great time on social media, when the worst people you've ever known profess exactly the wrong goals for the coming year. The meanest and messiest people are planning to rise above toxicity this year, and you love to see it. By that I mean, we will love watching them try. And there's...

Listen up, sluts: it's me, Elinor Jones, bringing you another Trash Report despite the fact that Al Gore's internet is full of SALES, SALES, SALES, and all I want to do is SPENDDDDDD MONEYYYYYYY! Every time I fire up my laptop I accidentally do zero work but buy four sweaters; science can't actually explain it; I'm gonna look so awesome when I get fired from everything. Let's go ahead and ride out my posting access...

Hello everyone, and welcome to another Trash Report, with me, Elinor Jones, the queen raccoon of garbage mountain. This column goes live at 10 am, which I know will feel like 11 am today, and you will be angry that I'm late when in fact you should be mad at the old-timey farmers who put us in the whole clock-change mess in the first place. We all wanted The Price is Right to have started...

Hi everyone, and welcome to another edition of The Trash Report. I'm your girl, Elinor Jones, constantly weirded out about how Elinor (or Eleanor) is such a popular name for little kids these days when I was a stone-cold freak for having a name like that in the '90s. Now if you see me in public and call out "Elinor!" I will not even turn my head, so jilted am I for getting my hopes...