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her uncle's unhappy. i'm sensing an underlying issue. it's t-mobile. it started when we tried to get him under a new plan. but they they unexpectedly unraveled their “price lock” guarantee. which has made him, a bit... unruly. you called yourself the “un-carrier”. you sing about “price lock” on those commercials. “the price lock, the price lock...” so, if you could change the price, change the name! it's not a lock, i know a lock. so how can we undo the damage? we could all unsubscribe and switch to xfinity. their connection is unreal. and we could all un-experience this whole session. okay, that's uncalled for.
writing this monologue but to open the show on, i was like my hat getting back to the sopranos isn't sadder than politics right now, not even close. one presidential candidate is nor has telling people he can't get a fair trial and the other is outside an airport telling people he's gone. on. >> they never found the body. a lot cannibals in the part. >> i think what he's trying to say is gavin newsom, 2024. [laughter] >> that's someone's pop-up. >> the white house admits the world war ii incident never happened so it turns out biden's uncle was a passenger in a plane that crashed in the ocean so the good news is his uncle never ended up in a crockpot. the bad news is, dementia. [laughter] how does the president land in such a mind altering state? auto nobody actually has dementia but am coming to you
care about a sale on sky, writing important things aren't worth compromising at farmers. >> we offer both quality insurance and great savings, quick show where the other carrots we are they need the loan back fast and unit scott's tariff visit rafi grass. it goes glass two times faster under see the loan, given you a stronger laws, milner leader hey, business. it's not a nine-to-five proposition. it's all day and into the night. it's all the things that keep this world turning. the go-tos that keep us going. the places we cheer. and check in. they all choose the advanced network solutions and round the clock partnership from comcast business. see why comcast business powers more small businesses than anyone else. get started for $49.99 a month plus ask how to get up to an $800 prepaid card. don't wait- call today. her uncle's unhappy. i'm sensing an underlying issue.
state or his age. his uncle the moment the biden presidency lost at sea. >> give up 14%. [laughter] one 100% agreement on this. we finally have bipartisanship president trump went missing from the campaign trail to attend his court case in new york city this week but he was later spot is outside a harlem bodega where he received a hero's welcome. [cheering] >> file this under things that will never show on msnbc. [laughter] the nice thing is everybody cheered him on his now extra famous because the fbi is spying on the bones. i'm getting, most of those were prepaid wireless, let's get real. no internet connection. [laughter] every analyst on tv is trying to react to this from the political standpoint like does this mean latinos are voting trump? what i want to know is, do you think trump bought any products in the bodega the only cell and
are these the cannibals that ate biden's uncle? >> you know what i like most? the curtains. >> jesse: models now leaving california. thanks homeless. >> we observed a male walk into the park and then he pulls out a canister with some kind of liquid on himself and he likes himself on fire. >> a man goes up in flames in new york city plus. >> my little brother -- brother paid a buck to see her underwear >> jesse: in 1961 the air to an american dynasty michael rockefeller disappeared. whatever happened to him is still a mystery to this day. his last whereabouts swimming towards the coast of papua new guinea after waves toppled his
recovered his body. >> he got shot down in new guinea and they never found the body because there used to be a lot of cannibals are real and that part of new guinea. >> the military says his uncle died after crashing into the ocean so another fairytale from joe wanted to keep making up this weird stuff? since he grew up in black churches in jewish temples in a puerto rican neighbourhood i don't know who to blame but what is lost in this is that his uncle is a hero who died for our country cat we know as a child
guinea. >> jesse: primetime can't get over the story. the pentagon called biden a liar. the truth? he was the passenger in a plane that went down in the pacific when its engines failed. there was even a survivor who never mentioned anyone being eaten. they were asked about it today and said cannibalism is no laughing matter. >> wise president biden saying that his uncle was eaten by cannibals? >> the president had an emotional and i think a symbolic moment. he had an opportunity as president to honour his uncle's service in uniform who lost his life when the military aircraft he was on crashed in the pacific after taking off near new guinea >> why is he saying that his uncle was eaten by cannibals? that's a bad way to go. >> he lost his life. we should not make jokes about this.
your last line is for a laugh, it's for a funny statement and he takes this very seriously. >> jesse: no one takes this more seriously then new guinea. diplomatic relations between the united states and new guinea have now had an all-time low. turns out you accuse a country of eating your uncle they don't take it lightly. countries have gone to war over much less. locals on the island say president biden's story is unacceptable. they say the cannibals wouldn't just eat any white man that fell from the sky. the whole episode leaves a bad taste in our mouths. one journalist actually visited these tribes and they've never even seen a white guy. >> people have so many questions. people are confused mind to the
you get the buzzer. but you are correct. >> it was in fact, kevin o'leary, interesting. >> he has been on often to talk about this particular case. so obviously, it was him. all right. how about ember four guys? >> let's see if you can guess this one my uncle, he flew those single engine planes as reconnaissance over war zones. and he got shot down in new guinea and they never found the body because are used to be a lot of cannibals, or was it a kari lake be representative? nancy pelosi or c president biden shall we wait for snl for the answer? let's see who we think it was up to oh, okay. >> well, hold on. >> well, two of the three answers are correct. it would in fact be president biden. that's happened. then you go for a walk you didn't want to answer that, did you? it's a moment google it. i'll explain nothing further. all right. here at final one, ready guys, here is one. a weight that's
right, at very least. so he repeateds that his falsels conspiracy theory that essentially that joe biden is behincyeory thad this , which was brought by a locally elected district attorney. brought he said biden is behindb he has his top people workingeh with the d.a.' hiss office to mi sure everything goes right. >> there is no basis for that.ng waso when biden says cannibals and his uncle, he's just off on the detailshi. th and when trump says biden's justice department's railroading hie m, it's false. biden can lie all he wants, bring charges, all he wants. and if trump takes issue with anything, they'll wit throw him in jail. >> they take it away. my constitutional rights to speak. and that includes the who. onhave a lot to say and i'm not allowed to say it, and i'm the only one. everyone else can say whatever they want about me. they can say anything they want. they continue to make up lielis and everything. i'll say like they're is scum. but you know what? i'm not allowed to speak and ie want to be able to speak to thp press, the press and everybody else about it. so why am i here?