okay. okay. hey, good out there. . ah all right. jesus christ, people. i was out of town last night. did anything. it's friday. so you know what that means. >> let's welcome tonight's guest. like most carolers you can fin t means lid in junkyards. host of the adam carolla show, adam carolla . he's got southern charm and cann break your arm. so the bottom line on fox business. dagee megan she's as offbeat asa one arm drummer. >> joseph kennedy saves the world podcast. kenned hos ky. and he's the original planet fitness. "new york times" best selling author's comedian borat who hism very funny dowedn down. >> so how bad was joe at the debate last night. >> it was so bad that joy reid lost more hair it was so bad.are jimmy carter the debate and said, wow, that guy's almost dead. d. it was so bad. hillary's writingg he her acceptance speech and joe's suicide note. it was so bad. y on nancy pelosi's facepe fon unfrozen. joe was so bad. vladimir putin denied poisoning him. it was so bad. joe biden thought saint peter was moderator. that's good, right that's good. we're not done now. it was so bad. >> joe biden thought he saw his dead relatives and his uncle ask, why did you sayy di i was eaten by cannibals? it was so bad.o democrats were seen in california at a cemetery digging up dianne feinstein. ei. it was so bad, anthony fauci blamed it on bat soup aid wasion so bad. toahel levine transition to republican. it it was so bad. a cnn poll found that 67% of voters believe trump had won. mp 1the other 33% thought they e watching the first episode of dead apprenticethough. >> it so bad, jerry nadler put his colostomy bag at half mast . it was so bad that andrew cuomo put himself in a nursing home and he it was so bad that abc said grief to the view and the cast ate them. finally, it was so bad that even kamala harris is worried that kamala harris might be president. >> all right , fine. might go to a fight. okay. all right. jo the way, it the debate that sealed joe's fate. it was way worse than they couldn ever imagine. they being the media, of course, but not you.you sa you saw it coming, especially if you've been watching this show. sog the media pushes the panicon button. you weren't shocked in the least because we told you the truth. >> president biden headed to camp david today to begin preparing for his debate with donal hisd trump. >> here is his car pulling into the camp, as you've heard, to prepare for the debate. as ythe president has been sequestered since last week. he mind, he thinks he's a jurork on the o.j. trial. >> it's kind of weird. o pr a president is disappearing an entire week to prepare for a 90 minute debate. but his staff defended the movet pointing out that it takes two years to teach a baby to talk, to reduces s to distractions. cnn has declared thursday's debate will have n the debo audt and only one live candidate. >> now, what if you weren't watching us and watching them? this is what the liars were nut? feeding you. >> are you going nuts? the reason i came on the jimmy kimmel show is because i. i mean, i sir, thank you so much for being here. i'm proud to say i for him dozens of times. >> i made sure and thank you to all of you who had to be here. >> when you have sensitive documents that you need to flushyou sens down the toile. he do that. is he is that done in your office toilern tht or is that de in the bathroom, in the personal bathroom area? >> you've co-opted dar>> you cok brandon. do you enjoy playing around with the dark brand? i mean oundh no, i resent>> pre the hell out of it. >> okay. i, i haven't seen useful idiots like that since i hireds to fox friends to move my couch. so now you know he's been lied to, feeding you a choreographed of a decade. >> a dying man. we knew. they knehed mani d and w. but what of the o casual observer, the apoliticale american who, like millions, started tuning in to the race at the debat te stage? you know, after assuming for years joe biden was actually the president, we now know he's not. >> they finally see with their own eyes what biden is really like. you know, it must be like b running into a once capablen friend on the street that you haven't seen in years. and he'syear a drug addict, homeless wreck. you just assumed he fine all along. >> but no, he's a hopeless, drooling wretch. a bknow ha hohow shocked and hd you must be and angry to how did you not know? but here you weren't just lied li ghto you, shielded from the lie. >> they covered joe up like he was a grisly crime scene. and when you wondered why they blocked the release, o the audio of the her report. well, you're just a conspiracy freaek. >> they told you? of course he's fine. the best ever, especiallyu behind closed doors. well, yes, iheasf they. >> the doors to a morgue. s were those doors were removed lastnih night. and didn't just expose joe. it exposed all those who covered up thi exps. co-con >> listespn to these coconspirators. >> start your tape right now, because i'm about to tell you the trut righ. you and if you if you can't handle the truth, this version of biden is the best biden ever. >> president biden, a photographic memory. >> he is sharp, intenselyd deta probing and detail oriented and focused. >> he's totally focused.ings he's very sharp. they say he's sharp in meetings. he's completely and possession of his faculties. very lucid. well, very well informeds hewel >> and he's totally with a totally sharp eye. >> that was then. this is now. >> is it>> time for him to stept down that window is not completely closed. what all of us saw last night, t inability to complete sentences, the inabilityenand in to make easy layups. i don't believe our best choice at this point. >> i don't believe he's the right man right now. that was painful.i >> i love joe biden. i work for joe biden.he d >> he didn't do well at all.idat uh, yeah all. >> he he did not do well at all. he joe biden looks like the caricature that that conservative media has been painting. and there were no clips befor tonight. >> right. this was you saw it before your eyes. >> well, there goes your cheap fake and chucky. never >> it was never a caricature. no one painted it. it was reacaricaintel. t >> the only caricature is you pretending to be a journalist. jour the media is acting like a guy waking up from an acid trip to find out he's buck naked. just. they're just waking upd . the fact now that joe's unfit uf to be president, whereit the have they been? what have they been doing? so bit's so bad.l it even kamala couldn't manage a cackle. >> was there a slow start?at a kamala yes, there was a slow start, but it was a strong finisht . and what became very clear through the course of the nighf tht is joe biden is fightf on behalf of the american people. of the only strong finish was in his pants. joe had a slow start that somehow implies that a, he started and b, there was anon improvement. but if there was any time,e kamala should have laughed. that wassh because the joke is n us. even though there's nothing funny about her becoming president. >> it raises a questioe questiod >> it raises a question. had these lied to uso us all alg ? was this all just a setup? well, plan to move the debate up to the earliest ever been. to expose joe's incapacityy and get him out of the way and fast without a primary so they could pick whoevey cor they want. >> or did they just believe i in incoherent dementia? man was preferable to trump, but they didn't care how unsafeu that made our country with holding on to power. hare important than is safe e and secure a country. >> did they hate trump more thanamer? >> they loved america. yes, they that seriously. u >> and you should be .d asked this question many times.f if trump is such a threat to democracy dictator in the making. why are they putting up a candidate against hi them, jo? someone who's a danger to himself and to our country. somes this the plan all along. but leave it to morning breathsh ,resident dolt, to still hold out hope. >>t to still i think it is absob possible to correct us. >> moments are fleetinsoe tog. tv can be vapor when the next moment arrives. but i thinhek can be done. i really do.. it's been done before. this is abouis it us. and if you look at joe biden aso the candidate right now who had a horrible night last night, in a way reflects us much more than. the other candidate. everyone's focused on last night. if this there is a problem. but it's it's not it shoulde leave us speechless thinking this is over. >> oking that'sh, poor, sweet, . , it's over. but you're all right. stop running out of time. but you're also carelesscareless and stupid for thinking otherwise. >> this isn't about the election. it's about right now. until the election. k we don't have a president.no we know this. but now so does the whole world. >> we are now exposed to outside force. exps, adversas who realize we are without a leader who's running the country. >> can you honestly say who ci can't? >> and whoever it is, could it actually be worse than biden? e what if it is. >> if there's anything we learned, don't underestimate democrats. scary. i can't think of a better guest to have today than you. >> what do you make of last night? >> and were you shocked? no, i was not because i watch your show. watchi get a variety of sources and all the cheap fakes, deep fakes i knew weren't edited. so for anyone on our side't sur of the aisle, that was not surprising at all. >> i likpre that joe's overcompensating today by boxing a kangarooy bo and i. i was, as expected. it's also kind of interesting when you see the pundits. they do exactly. y they just did with covid. they did? oh, it didn't come thejust fromt it came from a wet market. you have to wear a mask. if a mas yelling at everyone, shag everyone you know, horse pays, blah, blah. >> 10 minutes later, it's like, oh, yeah, i knew i0 s t all. yeah, i know. is there. no, you didn't. you lie the entire timd e. >> and then you flip the script. yeah, it is. it's like it's actually u the same filter that they use for every news storyseever. >> they gaslight us. then when they're exposed, they go, oh, we never said anythin saye g like that. >> it's crazy. they they lie the entire time. although i d n o a way to get biden out of there now because he's not going to listen to anybody and he's going to make a decision. >> and now everyone wants him out, including his own party. >> all i would need to do is about three or four of his inner confidantes, like the closess int people, the cira that go, you don't want this doddering old foolndu don' runn for second term day. and they'd go, no, we don't. but what can we tellyo himd w?e i go, listen, listen to me. this is going to work. get on the same page he when he says i'm running for a second term. you saa tery. s it >> but this is your second term and you like and you go, democrats, we've solved your problem. s we've solveds dig in.watc what are your thoughts? were you watching it last night in real time? yehi naltimes. >> and i'm goingjo to correct you. joe biden, the president had a cold. did you not get the memo? that's went out 50 minutes, ended the debate. two sources said stuffy nose. it's why his mouth was hanging open, staring off into space, just looking for a ricola, sneezing, sneezing and coughing of the brain. >> yeah, totally normal. i talking about the cognitivecot decline overiv year ago on television was totally lambasted because all americans who've ever had elderly, relative dementia, alzheimer's, whatever it is, we all saw this because my great aunt irene was in the same place he was about a year ago in her declinn the when my mother would call me on the phone and say, don't leave raine alone in the house because she's going to try and heat upuse sh on then and light the gas with lightertl fluid, or alternatively, putr the whole can of soup in the rar radar range and we don't have any more fire extinguisheen from the last time she was left alone in the house. >> it's true. ennedy >> it's true, kennedy. so i realized was as deighane points out. le w so sadly for peoplee who have had family memberhas with memory issues and cognitive impairment cogni, are good days and there are bad days. and unfortunatelthbad daysy, ths become more and more frequent as we are seeing with president, because the gaffes are unstoppable no matter what kind of propaganda i kgb throws at us. but what i was a thinking as,e e i'm watching the debate. >> his entire team, he woke up like that. >> he woke up on the worst day and they were like, holy, like, he has been wrapped up in a temper mattress filled with, you know, vitamin b and peptides and god knows what else, and stuck in a hyperbaric chambermi in a sauna, which is what they normally do when they have to bake them for a few days andy before a by event. >> yeah. and they unraveled him and he woke unravim up on one of his bt and at that point it doesn't matter i f they're squirting red bull into his heinie hole. >> nothing is going to wake him up. all right, tyrus, do you think they mistimed the drugs? >>? i think if you ever decided to just want to have a job where you call people ont pict the phone and paint pictures for them, you would be mentally phenomenalem you. but i'm never going to get red bull either, honey, a outhed of my head for the rest of my life. like, i think lyrical everthe sy once in a while. >> you just have to take timtied to just that was next levelbecas and i did not finish the debate because of a stupid bed bit thai made with mr.. i thought maybe one or two gaffes. that's is thatt. i would only have to taket a couple shots. mm-hmm. it was like was like 17, and it std to hurt. yeah. you know, i'm saying, like, started. it started to hurt, but the cold part was i understoodte biden so much better than i understood from, like, you know, hey, listen, i'm full disclosure. and it was scotci knewh, which s a huge, huge mistake. but it was out of respect for our conversation. but when kamala came on wholly, i was i was. >> huh. she's really evil because there was no laugh. 's bee >> and that's when i realized carmelo's been running the whole time because she had an answer for everything. oh, he off to a slow start. don't worry about it. that's the real. all jokingasid. the hangover from scotch. do not do it. it's a one drink a night type of deal. not 17, but the one thing that i got from all this that i was sitting there, this is between one and seven. shouldn't this have been the fbi in the cia picking up phones, going. who the hell's running this the country? >> mm. who's been calling the shots? because it's not himng. yeah. so isn't that a cover up? yes, there are a repor at. yeah, there's a cover up. he like, he's clearly unfit. so who's unfit making these phoe calls? yeah. who's having these conversations with dictators? the country. and it makes sense that they're out of control, doing whatever they want cont because they knew what we knew. but we're. we'rew bute crazy. the yeah, but the rest of the world's been carrying on, and that's whyrld ha w is the pt we're in right now. >> we don't have a president in the white house, right? yeah e wh. maybe it's dr. jill whot th nice g the media must be consoled the media must be consoled because biden looked reall as parent. >> yeah, i mean, nicnchaving aen though. nothing like taa little confidence boost taa little confidence boost to help ease you back into thezn dating scene that includes having a smile. having a smile. >> you feel good about >> fortunately, aspen dental specializes in dentures specializes in dentures dget. and with flexible financing, and with flexible financing, you don't need to sacrific work for a price s that fits your budget at $0 down plus 0% interest if paid in full in 18 months, helping patients. >> but their best smile for it. it's one more way. aspen dental is in your corner . over 13 million americans were affected by identity theft in 2022, and the threats go way beyond just credit card fraud. today's identity thieves can use your information ways that are easy to miss by just monitoring accounts and credit like loans, transferring home titles, even committing crimes . someone got my social security number, made a driver's license . it was used for criminal activity. you can do so much with a social security number that i didn't know could happen. >> drained my bank account. it was terrifying. even more vulnerable than you realize, your information is exposed through online shopping banking, even corporate data breaches. no wonder there's a new victim of identity theft. every 3 seconds only lifelock alerts you to the widest of threats, all in one place, like someone trying to use your social security number, open a new loan in your name, or even commit a crime in your name. there is a big yes button and there is a big no button. i clicked that's not me and lifelock took it from there. if you become a victim of identity theft, a dedicated u.s. based restoration specialist will be assigned your case and work to fix the issue on your behalf. if something happens, you have somebody fighting for you. all lifelock members backed by the lifelock million dollar protection package, including reimbursement for stolen funds, personal expenses and coverage for lawyers and experts up to $1 million. it can be dangerously easy to steal your identity. with lifelock, it's easy to help protect. i will be with lifelock forever. join the millions of people already protected by lifelock and for a limited time, save 25% on your first year with promo code 25 tv. all plans include a 60 day money back guarantee and call eight hundred 7104654 or visit lifelock com slash 25 tv to save 25% on your first year of identity theft protection enroll now dissecting the debat want to save on some of the biggest names in streaming on the network made for streaming? x marks the spot. now you can add the new xfinity streamsaver™ that includes netflix, peacock, and apple tv+. that's xfinity streamsaver™ for just $15 a month. all your favorites. all in one place. only from xfinity. for more watching and less spending... x marks the spot. do it all on the network made for streaming, and bring on the good stuff. deluxe bundle. get a faster motor or five miles of steps per hour. the step counter, the smart mat and wireless remote all now it's coming your way. >> hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. so now the media admitsould c joe should call it quits right now as we speaalk is a deep, a wide and a very aggressive panic in the democratic party. >> i think people are talking. i think the conversations range from whether he should be in this race tomorrow morning whats with him. >> if you believe what's at stake in this election is what believe is at stake, i'll leave easily, tragically, tragically did not rise to the occasion last night. >> sally didiso for me, watchinr happened last night, again, it was terrible mhappened. it was terrible. there's no way to spin it. >> well, it's kind of a defcon one moment. there are three years apart. sthey seemed about 30 years apart tonight. >> his job was to calm his party, to make them feel that, yes, i can this i have thi four more years in me. sthave the ability5 mo and the stamina and the strengtham to do four more years. he did not do that. he did the opposit. did te of t. he made them more panicked. the people who were texting me were even more panicked. they actually expected it to be better than it was. betterand they're in a i won't y a full fledged panic, but it's gettin g i know what you're all thinking. >> i can't believe there's people out there who joy rei>> d dagen i will never get tired these videos. i might have to just keep watching them over and over again to that. >> joe already said he's preparing for the second debate and they're saying he's got to go. what's happening? well, they're going to be exhausted from trying to cov