love is dead. and then your being looked at for it. >> imagine, your shaken in the dead of night. >> my ears were ringing. i thought i was dreaming. >> in bed, right next to you. your husband, murdered. >> hearty wrap around your head, is it? >> yes. >> and here's the twist. you are the suspect. >> it's the worst feeling, thinking you're gonna be blamed for your husband's death. >> could she have been the killer? or, with someone keeping a secret? >> i said, what did you do. what did you do? >> i don't know what to tell you. >> just of the truth. >> hello, and welcome to "dateline". it's the stuff of nightmares. and a traitor creeps into your bedroom in the middle of the night and opens fire. but for melissa oxley, the bad dream was all too real. she told investigators she'd been startled from her sleep to find her husband, ben, dead from a gunshot blast. it seems strange, they thought, that no one else in the house was hurt. including melissa, who was sleeping by his side. stranger still, was who the killer ultimately turned out to be. here's harris keith morrison with "while they were sleeping". >> it was cold, the night the full moon rose. february cold. in the desert valley that spilled down from reno, nevada. and in that moonlight, all silver, sale, the wind in the dead of night. with ten cried up the dry. round the corner of the house. past the unlocked door. something evil afoot. something here, inside. when the moon appeared through the window and into the master bedroom. a little after three in the morning. >> it's really, really bad. >> what's really bad? >> my husband. >> strange, the things that happened to people under a full moon. good people? not so good people. under that moon, that night, it was hard to tell, which was which. who was who. >> this is a case built on lies and deception and a cat and mouse. who knew what it was? >> but the story, when it began back in 2005, was about love. or what certainly felt like it. in fact, fair to say it was two kinds of love. there was what happened to ben when he met melissa. >> as soon as he met melissa, he was something i've never seen. just for no reason he'd call her and say, i love you. >> he was a change man. >> absolutely. he was happy. melissa really made the difference. >> and if anybody would know, his best friends would. cindy and scott graham. >> ben was family. i mean, he was family. >> and then there was ben's mother love. the brightest thing in his life. the one good thing that came from his first marriage. alyssa. >> everybody said that he loved to me more than anything. and i think it's true. >> quite true, of course. so, there was little joking at first to win one man. even if one of the woman was just three. >> our first date alyssa was there. we were eating and i was just trying to talk to ben get to know one. and she's like, don't talk to my dad. >> i remember meeting her, i didn't really like her. [laughs] many he was talking to my dad. >> more than talking to him, as it soon turned out. ben and melissa moved in just segue together just a month later. assert the sort of thing a three year old finds hard to understand. >> she said i love you, and i said don't talk to my dad that we. >> but as we said, it was a love story. then for both of them. as jamie a friend and future bridesmaid put it -- >> he was truly her best friend and he was the best dad. that's all he cared about was alyssa. that was his priority. to take care of her. >> so, it was melissa and ben and alyssa. the threesome. >> he was so involved in every aspect of her life. they were really like two peas in a pod. >> and one september day in 2006, as the sun was setting into the sierra nevada mountains, ben and melissa got married. the ceremony at nearby lake tahoe. melissa was a glowing bride. alyssa, a little flower girl. >> it wasn't just melissa and ben getting married. it was melissa marrying alyssa, too. >> seriously. they made a particular ceremony of it. >> alyssa will you promise to share in the love of this family? will you please say i will? >> i got her a little bracelet and had a engraved letting her know that i will always love her as my own. i gave it to her that day. >> and from that moment on, alyssa called melissa, mom. how did it make you feel? >> happy. very happy. >> awe, what a happy couple they were. a happy family. >> being my wife now, it's just a blessing. >> that's what you wait for all your life. >> what were your plans? >> to buy a house and to have babies. have a family. >> they eventually moved here. a three bedroom ranch in the carson valley, looking up towards the sierra nevada's. alyssa spent half her time with ben and melissa. the other time with her birth month, then's ex-wife dawn. but above all, what ben really wanted was to have his little girl permanently. >> he never thought that he could have his daughter. i was like, yes you can. you could. >> and he did. he won custody. >> it was him and his daughter. and that's what he always wanted. >> and then the little household grew. melissa's teenage brother, craig, moved in. and then winter came. the wind. and on february 20th, 2008, the moon rose full over the carson valley. i after dinner, ben, melissa, her teenage brother craig and little alyssa, settled in the dental watch a movie. melissa remembers falling asleep on the couch when she woke up with a start. >> thinking i was late for work. it was 2:30 in the morning. i was like, oh i'm not late. so i went and got in the bed. >> crawled in with ben, she said. moonlight on the color covers. warmth inside. >> about an hour later is when i was woken up by the smell and then a loud noise. my ears were ringing. but at first i thought i was dreaming. >> the smell? >> yeah, it was the smell of the gunpowder. >> as she told it, she looked over at ben. saw by the light of the moon he appeared to have slept through whatever it was. she announced him. he didn't stir. >> so i was like, ok i'll go check it out. so i walked around our bed and got about halfway down the hallway and realized our front door was open. >> but you didn't see anybody? >> no. >> halfway down the hall, she said, cold air rushing in. she knew something was very wrong. so, she ran back to the bedroom. turned on the light. >> i went to go wake him up and then, i could see him. >> yeah. hard to get that one out of your head, isn't it? >> yeah. >> and thus, her call to 9-1-1. and the detective who rushed over to find out what happened and discovered that he could not tell. >> you've got the wife. you've got a small six year old child. and you've got a 15 year old boy in the house. have you got everybody saying they don't know what happened. >> how did everyone else survive that night without a scratch? coming up -- the investigation begins and melissa is at the very center. >> i'm asking you to help solve the problems with the questions i have, okay? >> a dramatic police interrogation. when "dateline" continues. you know that feeling of having to rewash dishes that didn't get clean? i don't. cascade platinum plus... with double the dawn grease fighting power and double the scrubbing power. for a no rewash clean... and a cabinet ready shine. upgrade to cascade platinum plus. dare to dish differently. lowe's knows you need to save money this holiday so upgrade to cascade platinum plus. you can get more of what you want. with our lowest price guarantee. this holiday if you find a better price, we'll match it. get more for your home and your family. you got this. we got you. for my best skin, it's olay. better than a basic moisturizer olay starts working day 1 to visibly smooth and firm for a lifted look in one month, skin looks up to 10 years younger results you can see, in one jar olay c'mon, we're right there. c'mon baby. results you can see, it's the only we need. go, go, go, go! ah! touchdown baby! -touchdown! are your neighbors watching the same game? yeah, my 5g home internet delays the game a bit. but you get used to it. try these. they're noise cancelling earmuffs. i stole them from an airport. it's always something with you, man. great! solid! -greek salad? exactly! don't delay the game with verizon or t-mobile 5g home internet. catch it on the xfinity 10g network. melissa oxley: i was just confused and shocked because at this point i still felt like i was asleep. keith morrison: on february 21, 2008, at 3 o'clock in the morning, melissa oxley called 911. >> i was just confused and traumatize. because at this point i still feel like i'm sleeping. >> on february 21st, 2008, at 3:00 in the morning, melissa oxley called 9-1-1. >> okay, so that the noise is like a gunshot? >> yeah. i turned on the light to wake up my husband and it's really, really bad. >> it certainly was. ben oxley had been shot point blank, in the head. and yet, melissa lying in bed, right beside him was unharmed. she ran then into alyssa's room to check on her own call 9-1-1. and of course alyssa, six years old, and completely unaware of what just happened asked to see her father. >> i want to go see my dad. i want to go see my dad. and i just older, you can't go see your dad. >> ron was the detective who got the call. do you remember getting that call? >> yeah. because i was sleeping. >> he woke up, fast. through a very big problem. a killing. just didn't make sense. >> hearing like a ghost has done this. no evidence. no weapon. everybody in the house says, i don't know. >> a ghost? >> yeah. that's what it feels like, because you have no idea. >> how was it possible melissa hadn't seen the person who shot ban? she's been lying right next to him. why was she unharmed? >> that's kind of a little red flags. start popping up. if you say ok, it just doesn't seem. right >> and had craig, melissa's teenage brother, truly slept through the whole thing as he claimed? >> i opened my eyes and right in my face was a bunch of barrels from a machine gun. >> it was police guns he was looking at. police would already discovered shotgun shells on craig's bedroom dresser. >> here comes another red flag. is this a possibility? is he faking? >> melissa, craig and little alyssa, were taken to the sheriff's department. at 4 am. an hour after the shooting. melissa's best friend got a phone call. >> it was alyssa. and she was just hysterically crying. i'm at the police station. come down here, come down here, my dad has been shot. >> at the time jamie arrive, melissa was already being grilled by detectives. >> today is february 21 third, 2008. >> detective elges had questions. lots of them. so many things about this murder didn't make sense. >> why didn't they take you out? i mean -- >> that's what i thought. >> another thing i don't understand is, why is somebody shoots him, why did you not see anything? >> i don't know. i honestly don't know. >> maybe it was the man who ben warned her about, she said. her rough customer who wants dated ben's ex-wife, dawn and apparently threatened to kill both don and any man she was with. was the story to? just be safe, detective elges sent officers to dawn's house where they walker up. sleeping, but unharmed. and discovered that the man in question was hundreds of miles away from where the when the murder happened. so, again, the questions were for melissa. >> sometimes people knew more than they want to tell or share. and i really really need it all. >> i'm telling you, i honestly don't know. >> alyssa was six by this time. was the only person who remembered seeing anything unusual, and she told the detective right away. >> well, i was just fast asleep, but i woke up and heard this creek after i saw somebody walking in. and then i just, went back. >> do you know who they were? . >> i don't know who it was. >> she saw a shadow looking at her. and then the shadow left. she went back to sleep and then melissa came in and grabbed her and was talking to 9-1-1. >> the detective discovered the bullet that killed ben was a number eight bird shot, same ammunition they discovered in craig's room. so, the question to craig. >> i apologize for doing that, if i have to, you know. did you kill ben? >> no, i did not. >> sure enough, when they tested craig for gunshot residue or blood cast off, he was clean, could not have fired that gun. and so, back to melissa. >> i know it doesn't make sense to you, but it doesn't make any sense to me either. >> it's not necessarily a huge, bad thing. but it's stuff -- >> it's the worst feeling, thinking that you're gonna be blamed for your husband's death. [crying] -- >> melissa, understand that i'm not blaming you. i'm asking you to help me solve the problems with the questions i have, okay? >> because there was blood on melissa, and gunshot residue. >> i don't know what to tell you. >> just the truth is all i'm hoping you're giving me. >> i am. >> melissa's friend jamie was there. when she came out of the interrogation room. >> melissa just dropped to the floor when she saw me. and she had a little bit of blood on her. she just said, i didn't do this. i said i, i know you didn't do it. >> but jamie knew there were others, and not just the police, who were very suspicious of melissa. >> she's the prime suspect. she's the wife. she was laying in bed with him. it doesn't make sense that she wasn't shot. >> did melissa do it? well, i hope not. but i mean, she could've. why wasn't she shot? >> i thought, if she did commit the murder, she's going to make a mistake. you can only live that life so long. >> coming up -- a new clue. what police believe might be a reason for murder. >> the $400,000 dollar life issuance policy. she had motivation to want this to happen. >> when "dateline" continues. migraine attacks, all in one. don't take if allergic to nurtec. allergic reactions can occur, even days after using. most common side effects were nausea, indigestion, and stomach pain. ask about nurtec odt. new emergen-c crystals pop and fizz when you throw them back. and who doesn't love a good throwback? [sfx: video game] emergen-c crystals. meet the portable blender we can barely keep in stock. blendjet 2 gives you ice-crushing, big blender power on-the-go. so you can blend up a mouthwatering smoothie, protein shake, or latte wherever you are! recharge quickly with any usb port. best of all, it even cleans itself! just blend water with a drop of soap. what are you waiting for? order yours now from blendjet.com before they sell out again! >> melissa oxley was just 27 keith morrison: melissa oxley was just 27 blendjet.com before they years old and already a widow. her 36-year-old husband ben, shot dead while he years old, and already a widow. her 36-year-old husband ben, shot dead while he slept in bed right next to her. as far as she could tell, said melissa, the shooter managed to break into the house, walk right into the master bedroom, shoot ben without harming her, and leave not a trace of evidence behind. the case boggles detective ron elges ' mind. >> is there somebody who didn't like him? is this a murder for higher pay? what could this? >> melissa's closest friends believed her when she insisted that she had nothing to do with it. that in fact, she lost the love of her life. and that now she and those around her were probably in terrible danger. >> because you don't know who did it. you don't know if they're going to come back for melissa, if melissa was supposed to be in that. >> melissa, meanwhile, tried to be a source of comfort for her six-year-old stepdaughter, alyssa. the little girl's father had been her world, leaving her now in a world of chaos. and with her home and love nest now a crime scene, melissa and alyssa moved in with the woman who had been bridesmaid at the wedding, jamie harges. and it was at night, when the curtains were drawn, that jamie watched melissa reeling with pain. >> many nights crying in the middle of the night. i would hear her. i just went and laid in bed with her. >> i didn't sleep. couldn't sleep. >> just getting into a bed after that happened. >> i didn't want to. >> so where would you sleep? >> on the floor. >> and if the pain and suffering of losing her husband wasn't hard enough, melissa was a lead suspect, and not just in the eyes of the police. >> because nobody, including the public, including the families, had any idea why this would happen. so they're all grasping at straws to figure out if this possibly, that possibility. >> ben sister was certain that melissa arranged ben's murder. i was afraid to make it known around town. >> she had quite a little following of people. because it's always the wife, you know? >> so did that mean little alyssa, just six years old, so vulnerable, was living with a murder? alyssa began to spend more time at her mother dawn's house. and one day, while she was there, ben's sister warned her about the stepmom she'd come to love. >> she told me that she thought my step mom killed my dad that night. >> must've been pretty weird for you to hear that. >> yeah, i didn't believe it. >> didn't believe it at all? >> no. >> but if alyssa didn't believe it, others did. and before long, they had more ammunition because of something else detective elges discovered. >> a $400,000 life insurance policy. it sounds a lot like she had the motivation to want this thing to happen. >> and once again, melissa found herself answering difficult questions. >> i didn't even know there was an insurance policy. i guess i was sort of naive to it. we were looking at it for retirement. >> but while the investigation went on, the insurance company held back any payments. while the whispers went around. it was shocking, really. ben had been dead, just what, a few months? and melissa was dating already. >> it was soon, sort of. but it was like, if i didn't do it then, you almost would get stuck in this rut of never doing it. i would've just hung up the towel and been done. >> put on a black dress and be a widow the rest of your life? >> yeah. >> detective elges, of course, was keeping track. and try not to be judgmental. >> she has to do what she needs to do to heal. it doesn't mean i wasn't paying attention to what was going on. >> but as months passed and elges scratch away at the few paltry leads that went anywhere at all, asserting clarity began to emerge. despite his own early suspicions and those of others, hard evidence against melissa just didn't materialize. in fact, said elges he, couldn't help thinking -- >> she probably didn't do it. she was so startled, she went into a flight or flight response and just jumped out of bed. and then went to a normal reaction, which is what's going on? >> and that's why she discovers -- >> she discovers he'd been shot. >> but there was another reason melissa dropped down the detective's list of suspects. and that reason was a certain someone else, who, it became clear, did not like that love story we told you about, not one bit. >> i said, what did you do? what did you do? and she said, what do you mean, what did i do? you've known me all these years and you would think i would do something like that? and i said, absolutely. >> coming up -- a whole new theory of the crime with a whole new list of suspects eager to share secret. >> i said, no. i said, no, no, no, no. >> when "dateline" continues. >> hello i'm philip manno. here's what's happening. secretary of state antony blinken on sunday maiden unannounced trip to baghdad to meet with iraqi leaders. he stressed the importance of making sure the israel-hamas war doesn't spread to other countries in the middle east. and on meet the press sunday, ukrainian president zelenskyy pushback on recent claims that his country's war with russia has reached a stalemate. ukraine's counter forces have been mounting a counteroffensive against russia since june. now, back to dateline. now, back to dateline. breathe a little easier. welcome back to dateline, i'm craig melvin. melissa oxley could now breathe a little easier. while still on