whoopi goldberg. you really can't wait, can you. i love this. >> i thought you knew this. >> i didn't know how weird you were. this is "piers morgan tonight." good evening. whoopi goldberg is a gift that keeps on giving. smart, opinionated, very, very funny. one of my favorite interviews of the year. things got interesting very quickly. here it is. >> how are you? >> i'm good. i'm fascinated by my own image. >> your wall of shame we have here. hall of fame or whatever you want to call it. >> i think it's fame. i'm never ashamed. >> really? >> no. >> you've never been ashamed about anything you've ever done? >> no, i don't think i've ever done anything shameful. >> that in itself is shameful. >> why? >> isn't it? >> i don't think so. >> shouldn't you have done some things in your life that are utterly shameful? >> publicly or privately? >> let's go private. something we don't know about. >> i'm sure something would have been shameful or ways that i've did things. >> feel free to share. >> well, no. i don't generally talk about the trapeze in my room, but that's a whole other thing. >> what about the public things we know about you? any of those when you look back, do you have regrets? i've never thought of you as somebody who overregrets things in life. >> no. i only have really one major regret. and it was i had the opportunity to spend a birthday with sammy davis jr. and i didn't. >> why? >> because i -- well, because i was young and dumb. and he passed, like, a couple of weeks later. and it devastated me. because i thought, you know what? that's what you get. >> what were you doing that was more important than sammy davis jr.'s birthday party? >> i don't know. it would have been my family. it could have been anything. i don't actually remember. i just remember he'd been so good to me and we were really, you know, good friends. and i -- i should have gone. i feel like i should have gone. that's the only -- that's the biggest regret. because he was an amazing performer. i mean, amazing. he could do everything. >> was he the greatest all-around entertainer that we've seen, do you think? >> i don't know. i mean, there are -- sinatra was a great all-around entertainer. judy garland. >> the thing about sammy davis, he could do almost everything. >> depends on what you see. you see certain movies, and you see -- you see sinatra dancing with gene kelly. >> it's more like -- >> no, no, darling. >> granddad at christmas party. >> no, no. >> sammy was a proper dancer. >> sammy was extraordinary. michael was extraordinary. there are maybe three or four in my lifetime that were extraordinary dancers and singers and actors and performers. so i -- i think there are probably three or four. and i knew two of them very well. and both are gone. >> my grandmother always said to me, the worst thing about getting old, by old she meant anywhere after 40. >> right. >> is that you start to just lose a lot of people that mean things to you. she was so right. whether it's family, whether it's people that you worked with, whatever it is, the death count goes up. >> well, you know, probably when she said that, that was correct. but if you are 40? are you about that age? >> you're flattering me, whoopi. >> may i ask? >> i just turned 46, but i'll take the first guess. i may cut out the correction. >> people my age, you know, we came through a period where we suddenly saw lots of young people dying at huge, you know, amounts because we come from the time of aids. and for us, i think for people in that age range, our age range, that changed all of that because before they were able to sort of extend people's lives with quality, and people were going like this, dancers, singers, children. i mean, it was extraordinary. but now, you know, death seems to have been sort of pushed back a little bit. and people are no longer sort of falling out the way they were. >> people are living a very long time now. >> very long time. >> particularly with hiv. >> yes. >> they seem to have got it under some form of control now. >> yeah. it doesn't mean that one should explore dumb behavior like, you know, sex without a condom. but, you know, we're not under the same time threat as we were in the beginning stages of aids in the '80s. >> do you ever fear death yourself? >> well, i think i must, you know. i didn't get on a plane. >> you are, you're terrified of flying, aren't you? >> well, i don't like it. i understand the premise of the bumblebee, but i don't feel like a bumblebee. i feel like i shouldn't be flying. i should be rolling in my bus. >> was there something that sparked it? >> yeah. there was a midair collision years -- almost 30 years ago when i was living in san diego which, you know, if you've ever been in san diego, you know, if you stand on a balcony anywhere in the city, you can see everything. and we happened to be on the balcony. >> you saw it? >> yeah, we saw it happen. my little one was very little at the time, so she doesn't have a memory of it. and it was -- it's still hard. just hard. just hard. >> why is it so hard? >> well, because what they can -- discovered later on is that the people on the plane were aware that they were in some danger, but i think the person who was in the smaller plane had had a heart attack. so the bigger plane, really there was no way to really figure out where to go. and i just feel for folks in a situation like that. who see something that they're not sure they're going to be able to live through. and so i just -- that's what stayed in my mind. because i'm a visualist. so if i see it, it lives in my brain. so i always see it. so i get on a plane. you know, things have changed, i must say, in the 30 years. >> how many planes have you actually caught in that period since then? >> since? well, it's hard to say. now i'm flying like a nun, you know, because -- >> you had a course, didn't you? >> i had a course from the folks at virgin. and they do a course where if you're really afraid of flying, they can really help you through it. and they did. and also, it helps that, you know, when i'm going to europe, i'm using my boss's plane to get there because he knows i'm, you know -- >> but for a long time you were getting on a bus to l.a. >> yes. >> for a 50-hour journey. >> piers, you have to travel with me, honey. >> i was told it was 50 hours. >> 23 hours. >> that's quick. >> very fast. i could get on a train, but it's harder to take the bus to, say, london. >> it's tricky. >> well, if you go on the qe2, you could put down the big thing down at the bottom but, you know. i find that, you know, i'm able to fly better. it has been a little dicey recently because, you know, people have fallen asleep in towers. >> my mother's the same as you. >> yeah. >> she has a complete phobia of flying. >> yeah. >> she can't do it. and i would imagine the worst thing is whenever these incidents happen -- >> yeah. >> -- to me, i can brush them off. i catch a plane like a bus. i never even think about being in the air. but for you when you see an air traffic controller asleep, it must just go -- >> some people are meant to fly, you know. some people are meant to fly. and i don't know if i was meant to fly. but i do it now. you know, it's like i have to chuckle under my breath and go, okay, okay, thank god the drugs are there. >> are you a phobic generally? do you have other things you worry about? >> no. no. i'm just, you know, i don't like certain food. i don't like anything that has a weird consistency. i don't like anything that could be hiding something. >> like what? >> like creamed corn. i don't understand the point. >> creamed corn? you're allergic to creamed corn? >> no. i'm not allergic. i'm not allergic to anything but milk. >> you're allergic to milk? >> yes. >> really? >> mm-hmm. >> you can't drink milk and eat creamed corn. >> i can eat creamed corn. but i don't because i don't know what's in there. >> cream and corn. >> that's what you say. >> that's what it is. >> how do you know that? >> that's what it's called. >> that doesn't mean anything. >> why are you picking on creamed corn. >> i'm not. i want to be clear. i love corn. i love people who grow corn. i love people who can corn. but you know what it is, it's so -- it's like sauce. i don't understand sauce. because you could hide stuff in sauce. like, i like my food naked. if it's the wrong color, you know, i don't like green stuff. >> spinach? >> please, no. >> what? >> i hate spinach. >> you hate spinach? >> again, i appreciate the people who grow it. the people who -- >> you can't eat any creams, anything green. >> right. >> what are we left with? what do you eat? >> what do i eat? i love potato chips. those make me happy. >> so you just live off fries? >> no. potato chips from the bag. crisps. >> we call them crisps. >> i know, it takes too long to say crisps. it's like crispses. >> can you eat meat? >> some meat. >> you're really quite weird, aren't you? >> yeah. i thought you knew this. >> i didn't know how weird you were. you told me you were a bit odd. but this is crazy. >> very crazy. >> interview has gone completely off track to creamed corn is going to kill me. >> no. don't get me in trouble. creamed corn is not going to kill me. >> i'd like to take a quick break so we can both reflect on what's just happened here. then we'll come back and talk to you about your love life. >> my who? all right. if you can find it, we can talk about it. ♪ when your chain of supply goes from here to shanghai, that's logistics. ♪ ♪ chips from here, boards from there track it all through the air, that's logistics. ♪ ♪ clearing customs like that hurry up no time flat that's logistics. ♪ ♪ all new technology ups brings to me, that's logistics. ♪ forty years ago, he wasn't worried about retirement. he'd yet to hear of mutual funds, iras, or annuities. back then, he had something more important to do. he wasn't focused on his future but fortunately, somebody else was. at usaa we provide retirement solutions for our military, veterans and their families. from investments... to life insurance... to health care options. learn more with our free usaa retirement guide. call 877-242-usaa. now, whoopi, i want to turn from creamed corn to your relationship history. >> all right. >> you've had three marriages. >> yeah. >> the first one lasted six years. >> yeah. >> the second one lasted two years. >> yeah. >> and the last one lasted a year. so i think i know why you haven't got remarried. you wouldn't have enough time to actually get divorced. >> oh, i see. >> they're lasting shorter periods. >> well, i suppose that, you know, you have to actually be in love with the person that you marry. you have to really be committed to them. and i just -- i don't have that commitment. i'm committed to my family, you know. and so henceforth that relationship has lasted, you know, the longest. >> do you think you were in love with all your husbands? >> no. >> any of them? >> no, i don't think so. >> really? >> mm-hmm. >> that's an amazing thing to say, isn't it? >> but it's the truth. >> it's still amazing. >> oh, well, all right. >> did you have church weddings? >> no. let me see. i think there's a vegas and maybe one was a church and one was a house wedding. >> why did you do it if you weren't in love with them? >> because i wanted to feel normal. and it seemed to me that if i was married, i'd have a much normal -- more normal life. but clearly that's not the case. that's not a good reason to get married. you have to actually want a life with someone through ups and downs. and i just discovered that wasn't for me. >> how many times have you been in love? >> once. >> who with? >> a man. >> go on. >> i've gone as far as i'm going. >> can i chuck a name? >> you could chuck a name. >> ted? >> are you asking me if i was in love with ted? is that the man i'm talking about? >> yes. >> no. >> really? >> mm-hmm. >> would we know who the person is? >> no. and that's the beauty of it. >> wow, that's amazing. >> yes, i know. >> this is bombshell time. >> not real bombshell, but i snuck a couple in on y'all, and nobody knew. >> the one person you probably loved is someone we don't know about? >> yeah. and that's okay. >> is this a recent thing? >> no. no, no. it was a long time ago. >> you wish you had married that person? >> no. >> why? >> because what i know now is i don't want to live with -- i don't want to live with anyone. >> you've chosen the wrong guys. >> no, no. i think i tried it with probably the right guys for other people. but it wasn't them, it was me because i actually like living on my own. i like being able to go up and down my stairs farting like a queen and not having to explain. i like being able to smoke all over my house and not have someone go -- you know. i like my privacy. i like it. >> didn't you like being in love? >> i don't know if i did. because the hardest thing, if you already have a family, being in love with someone is very difficult. because you want them to know that you also love them. and you want your family to know that you love them. and it's a very difficult choice to have to make. you know. it's a difficult choice to have to make. and once you realize that it's one or the other, you say, oh, okay. >> do you think that guy knows that he's the only man you've ever loved? >> yes, yes. >> you still talk to him? >> yeah. we talk all the time. he's got two great kids and a great wife. >> so he's married? >> oh, yeah. oh, yeah. >> i feel quite sad for you. >> why? >> i don't know. i just feel like -- >> you know, people say that all the time. people always say, you know, i'm going to fix you up with somebody. i go no, no, no! >> i just feel sad that this guy that you loved ended up with somebody else and it didn't work out for you. >> you know, lots of other things did, so i didn't do too badly. not too badly at all. >> are you on the dating scene? >> no. please, honey. oh, my god. could you imagine? >> not really. >> me sitting in a bar. hey. in the bar? no, no. i never was much of a dater. i'm not a real go out kind of person. though in the last couple of months, lots of my friends are on stage now, so i'm getting to go see lots of shows. but i was never a real dater. i either meet somebody and we hang out and whatever happens happens. but i'm really a singular person. >> do you get lonely? >> i don't think so. i keep trying to. you know. i keep trying to go, oh, oh. boy, i really want someone in my life. but i don't. you know, because the greatest thing is that there are people in my life that i love and adore. some of them are married. some of them are not. but i don't have to -- i don't have to do any more than love them. i don't have to do any more than that. and i actually like that. because i love some of these folks that i know. i mean, with all my heart. but boy, do i want them coming to live with me? hell, no. hell, no. >> what's been good about you? one of the many good things about you, but your big campaign about gay marriage, i think won you a lot of support from a lot of people in america. contentious thing to do. are you disappointed that president obama, who i know you're a massive fan of and supported, hasn't really done that much for gay marriage? >> well, you know, i'm not surprised by it. because, you know, very few presidents can go on and make the change they want to make. and he was very clear that he was conflicted about it. and once he made his decision, he talked to everybody and said, look, i'm going to go for it. you know, the guy's got cojones, i have to say. we're going to the generals and we're going to do this. we're going to pass the law getting rid of don't ask, don't tell. we're doing it. because it's hurtful to our citizens. now, what does he feel in his heart? he has no problem with gay folks. he has a problem with gay marriage. i suggest he never marry a gay person. then he'll always know that his heart is good. but he's looking out for gay people in the way that he can. and in this country, it's huge that anything got done. at all. at all. >> do you think we're getting there, perhaps? >> well, listen. we didn't tip over the edge. in spite of the fact that everybody's saying oh, he hasn't done anything. you know, we didn't go over the edge. he pulled us back. and has he spent a lot of money? probably. but there was a lot of money spent before. i'm sick of it. i'm sick of endless taxes by telephone companies and, you know, people telling me that i can't have a hamburger from mcdonald's because i should know that it's going to make me obese. no! no, no, no! get off my back. get off my -- you want me to stop smoking cigarettes? stop selling them. right? >> right. >> because they're making money from the taxes, they don't mind that. but we're concerned about your health. cigarettes cost, in some states, $13. a pack. see, and until they stop selling them, i'm going to -- i'm going to smoke. >> good for you. >> i think so. >> why shouldn't you do whatever you want to do? >> well, not whatever i want to do because i would not smoke without saying, does this bother you? if it does, i won't do it. because i'm very -- i'm aware that other people may not feel the same way. but i do think that i was raised well. you were raised well by intelligent people for the most part, both of us. and that we know how to say to someone, would this bother you if i did that? >> let's take a little break. now that you're nicely fired up. >> i'm not fired up. >> when we come back, i want to know what you really think of the ladies of "the view." >> if anything was going to put me back in my shell, you just did. capital one's new cash rewards card gives you a 50 percent annual bonus. so you earn 50 percent more cash. if you're not satisfied with 50% more cash, send it back! i'll be right here, waiting for it. who wouldn't want more cash? [ insects chirping ] i'll take it. i'll make it rain up in here. [ male announcer ] the new capital one cash rewards card. the card for people who want 50% more cash. what's in your wallet? sorry i'll clean this up. shouldn't have made it rain. not quite knowing what the next phase was going to be, you know, because you been, you know, this is what you had been doing. you know, working, working, working, working, working, working. and now you're talking about, well you know, i won't be, and i get the chance to spend more time with my wife and my kids. it's my world. that's my world. ♪ shoot. >> "newsweek" magazine recently said that you were the most popular host of "the view" and that you're even more liked than your friend oprah. what do you say to that? >> okay. i don't know. i don't know. you know. >> no denial, i notice. >> you know, i mean, i'm thankful. i'm grateful. but i don't know really what it means. i don't know what it means. >> are you friends with the other co-stars of "the view"? >> yeah. other co-workers that you have to get on with? >> no, no, no. i don't have the patience for. i don't have the patience. >> you look like you haven't got the patience when you're out there with them. >> not with them. sometimes when we're talking about things -- there are things that i really don't care about. and i'm supposed to. you know, i have to try a little harder. but there are just things i'm never going to understand the fascination. >> like what? >> like "dancing with the stars," you know, or charlie sheen's thing or, you know, any of it. >> you had a problem with drugs, didn't you? is it true that when you were -- won the oscar, you were actually high as a kite? >> no. >> please tell me it's true. >> well, no. i mean, could be. i could have smoked a joint, i don't know. >> you can't remember if you smoked a joint when you won an oscar? >> how long ago do you think that was? that was in 1990. i probably did smoke a joint. but, you know, again, to explain what you did -- 1990 was how long a