prizzy's honor and now she's a broadway producer on s.m.a.s.h. >> there's something about really good material. you know you've got something really good. plus, only in america. what is better than miniature golf in vegas? a rock star. this is it, rosie o'donnell on "tonight" starts right now. good evening. i'm christ stee yawn an apore in for piers morgan. joel mchale from community joins us. >> it's great to be here, piers. >> ouch. rosie o'donnell, star of the flinstone. nice to meet you. >> viva las vegas. >> do you remember? >> blu-ray. >> that's exactly right. >> i think you are exceptionally funny. >> oh, great. >> i do. that is from my heart, joel. >> that is really nice of you. i think you're exceptionally funny and i remember liz taylor hip replacement joke you told maybe 20 years ago -- >> can you remind me because i don't recall? >> you said, well, she's been married 13 times, no wonder she had to have her hips replaced and i said -- yes. >> you liked that one? >> i was at home and my mom and dad were like, i can't remind this. maybe there will be technology to rewind this but it was really funny, mom and dad. >> and you did not do stand-up, which is shocking to me. >> i didn't start until about 3 1/2 years ago. >> now, can i tell you, i find that shocking. >> well, "the soup" is like standup and i've been doing that for eight years. >> right. >> and my agent said, hey, you want to make some money? and he said, yep. and he said, put a bunch of jokes together and i started hosting shows and my real comic friends, i would do my material in between and then i went to a club in ogden, utah, and did like ten shows and tried to put it all together and then i did it, you know, you do it a thousand times and then it's barely okay. >> well, are you doing comedy clubs? are you doing theaters? colleges? >> what do you do? >> i do colleges, theaters. i'm working my -- well, this will air after to remember my act. and i'm doing a show at a casino in palm springs on saturday, on st. patrick's day. >> would you do it ever? >> actually, i went back about three years ago. i toured with cindy laup per in the summer and got my sea legs again. but it is like saying -- you know, in high school i was mvp of the high school team but you're 50 and i don't think you can throw it anymore. >> but do you still love it? >> i love it and i love watching the new people doing it and go, wow, remember when i used to do it? it was so long ago. i started when i was 16 years old. >> wow. >> you are irish catholic. >> i am irish catholic. >> and nor wee general. we can be funny and drunk and then really quiet. >> and cold. >> and angry. >> how many kids in your family? >> there are three. my mom had three boys. i was one of them. i was an of a fro diet when i was born. i had both sets of organs. >> i didn't know that. >> i have 20 first cousins and most of them live in the chicagoland areas. my aunt had ten, my mother had five. they went real catholic. >> and how did you get into the whole remember performing thing? was it something that was encouraged, family nights of columbus dinner? >> yes, it was the alter boy players. for two years we moved from -- well, i was born in rome. thank you. >> that's such a weird thing. you were born in rome, italy? >> my father was the rome campus for chicago. so we moved there. my mom's family lived there because my grandfather worked for the u.n. and they met. he was the dean. she was a student. love. three boys. we moved from mercer island, washington, outside of seattle and then to new jersey and we did it outside of philadelphia, we did a stage version of the disney ride," it's a small world" before pirates of the caribbean there was "it's a small world." >> i remember it well. >> and you were a child? >> i was a second grader. >> and then in seventh grade i did a play. did i "oliver" at the children's theater northwest. >> and were you oliver? >> no, i was way too large to be oliver. >> you are a tal man. >> see, that picture is huge. >> yep. >> oliver was a kid from inld yeah so the song -- one of the songs when the funeral parlor guys are trying to get rid of him -- >> uh-huh. >> one of the lines is one boy rather pale had to switch to one boy rather peal. so, yeah, after that i kind of had the bug and when you're insecure as i am, you just can't have -- stop having people tell you you're good at some point. >> and you enjoy singing at some point i guess if that was a musical production? >> it was a kid's production so they would take about anything. it was brutal. >> and in high school you were athletic. >> a lot of sports and acting. not a lot of academic. >> you were like finn from "glee". >> now what is this show. >> have you heard it, singers? >> yes, i guess so. i played a lot of football and basketball. >> and in college as well? >> i played at the university of washington. i was the best receiver of tackles like i could crumble better than anyone. >> and then you got out and decided to become an actor? >> i got out and did a sketch comedy show in seattle called "almost live" which was produced on the nbc affiliate which was on after the local news on saturday nights and we pushed "snl" to 12:00. so we had this crazy big following, bill nye the science guy came out of there. very luckily i got a guest star on will and grace because they were looking for actors over 6'7" and i bought boots that had three-inch heels on them which i still have, if you'd like to borrow those. and i got a commercial after commercial. that's how i made my living. and i thought, i guess i'll do commercials and then in a few years i'll go back to seattle and do weather on a country station. but luckily -- >> it was "the soup"? >> it was "the soup" which at the time it was more of an av project if anything. they put us on friday nights at 10:00 which at that point was a desert and it was my friends and i and we were just doing anything we wanted and no one cared. i think we got away with a lot worse than we do now. >> yeah. >> so we still have that same kind of feeling like no one's watching. let's just see what happens. >> you talked it from talk show to "the soup" because it's not just a talk show. >> and jokes and comedy. mostly about snooki. who is pregnant, by the way. i don't know if you knew that. >> no. >> you didn't? >> i didn't hear that. >> yes. she is going to -- >> didn't you tweet something? >> she tweeted me something that she was going to go on a date. she had misspelled something and i said, hey, are you taking out -- and she had a pretty good comeback, i'm from jersey. what do you expect? touche. >> we have a little clip from "the soup" which we're going to look at together. >> enormous photo. >> love has died after 72 days of marriage, you [ bleep ]. we thought we would last. i love, no one would have predicted it would end within three days and no one predicted that. especially not on friday, june 3rd. >> kim, listen to your mom. it takes 60 days to go through with the court and is it really worth all that as hassle for two weeks. >> you are like the amazing creskin. >> thank you. >> how did do that? >> we thought it was too many days. we thought we'd just go with 75. and, yeah, i've seen kim since and i see her at photo shoots and things. >> is it awkward and weird? >> no, because she's really nice and charismatic. that's what is so awkward and weird. don't you want to hit me? but you're totally sweet. maybe i won't make fun of you. and she's very attractive. >> you make fun of ryan seacrest a lot. >> who? >> ryan seacrest. >> he's right here. hey, buddy. >> you're actually frenltdly with him, yes? >> we are friendly. he's very busy and he moves about the studio as a green gas and just materializes. next thing, ryan. he's like, i'd like to produce this segment. this conversation? yes. and then he makes another million dollars. he's not around too much anymore. but he is -- we are nice to each other. he's very -- we take a lot of shots at him. he's very cool. it's nice but he's cool. >> has anybody ever became very angry and contacted you? >> without exception, no one has said you're going down. i don't know if tyra was very happy. but every single reality star i've ever met said, thank you, please put me on more. >> as often as possible? >> no matter how badly we make fun of them. >> right. >> it proves that whole thing that people just want to be famous and that's it, no matter what. >> well, i think reality stars for certain. >> yes. that is -- that report that came out a few years ago when they asked high school seniors what they wanted to be when they grew up and the answer was famous, it was as disturbing as anything that's been released. crazy. >> i totally agree with you. >> but the problem -- it's not a problem. it helps "the soup" but reality is here to say because it's cheap. >> what are you going to do on "the soup". >> or when al roker says she always likes to see his little leprechaun. that really happened. and, see, this is related to st. patrick's day. we're going to take a break and come back and talk about "community" i'm so glad it's back. i asked why are they on the bubble? unbubble them. i have that kind of power. >> sometimes bubbles float into the air. we'll be right back with joel. don't go away. we'll be right b joel. don't go away. 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[ female announcer ] discover what's next in your life. get this free travel bag when you join at aarp.org/jointoday. how they'll live tomorrow. for more than 116 years, ameriprise financial has worked for their clients' futures. helping millions of americans retire on their terms. when they want. where they want. doing what they want. ameriprise. the strength of a leader in retirement planning. the heart of 10,000 advisors working with you one-to-one. together for your future. ♪ it was invented when death meant until you're too cold. >> just nut up and die alone. >> that is a clip from nbc's "community" which is returning this evening. >> nut up and die alone. >> come on. >> are you going to put little banners underneath -- >> breaking news stuff? yeah. >> it said something like -- doesn't it say something about the person as they are down there. >> sometimes it does. do you want it to say joel mchale, stud muffin? >> no, like doesn't like ice in his drinks. >> okay. i can do that for you. i know people in the control room doing the editing. >> sore gums after citrus fruit. >> okay. you talk about marriage but yet you've been merited for 16 years. >> yes, i got married when i was 11. >> i tracked google information about you. >> i like a cold beverage. >> what's the point? you have to pay twice. >> yeah. >> your babies are how old? >> my babies? 4 and 7. >> you're in the glory days? >> yes. two days ago after a wrestling match my 7-year-old left me with a chipped tooth and a bloody watch and he was laughing and laughing. that's actually seacrest. that's not my kid. >> that's just a happy day, right? >> i was okay with it because you know when you chip your tooth it gets real sharp and then i cut it on that. >> what kind of dad are you? are you strict? >> i don't know all of the right rules and i think what daddy is saying, you should put away your legos and let's be reasonable here. >> yeah. >> so it becomes like i'm the child as well. she's a -- she's a thousand times better than i am at that. >> where did you meet? >> i mean, i gave the kids cigarettes a few years ago because i don't want them to get started on this. we met once in college, just once, but then on a movie set, the worst movie i ever made, an independent film, her mom was an extra and her brother knew who i was. he introduced us. so i have her brother richard to thank for that and, yeah, we dated for two years and then got married. >> has fame peakted your ability to be out in public with your family. >> oh, it's so hard, rosie. my gosh. >> but it's changed? >> oh, my gosh, there's paul with somebody else. mat ut, scooby, shaggy. no. it's not. >> not at all? >> it's not bad. you know, i can't imagine what it would be like to be matt damon or something because he's very short. just kidding, matt. no. i can't imagine what that would be. people come up. but it's one of those things where i get if you were a huge celebrity it would be incredibly hard to just go out. but when people walk up to you and tell you, hey, i really like you. >> yeah, that's not so bad. >> it's way better than your hands coming off from digging ditches all day. >> but you have such -- very, very ravid fans that got together and saved the show? >> yeah, thanks god for the fans of "community" because they are organized, young, and now know how to use a computer. if they were my father's age, there would be a bunch of letters. there were flash mobs outside of "30 rock" and nbc and they wore these timeline goatees. their support has been tremendous. i think everyone thought it would drop off after a month or two but it only got -- it only ramped up even further. >> didn't you promise to french kiss every man and woman who participated? >> every man and woman i will french kiss, yeah, if we beat big bang theory tonight. does purell make a lip -- i'm afraid i'll be very chapped. i have a lot of topical diseases. >> growing up, who did you look up to and say, hey, that's the person i'd like to be like? >> well, mr. steve martin, of course, mr. john clease. pretty much monty python was kind of a bible for me, woody allen movies i adored. bill murray. >> oh, bill murray. have you ever met any of these people and been star strucked? >> totally. i went to john's birthday because my friend had put him in a movie. and i just kind of sat in the corner blub bettering most of the time. and then i did a movie with steve martin last summer that came and went. but it was like i had won a prize where i got to be with steve martin. >> was he as you had imagined? >> he was that and more so. he's the renaissance man. >> sure. he's so smart. >> and he's so smart but he actually listens to what you're saying which is rare when you meet really sometimes really big famous people. sometimes not. but just listened and really was very thoughtful and then, of course, was incredibly funny. >> are your kids funny? >> yes, i think. the 7-year-old, whenever i tell a joke to him he will kind of stop and goes, okay, daddy. no jokes for a week. and then he'll go back to what he's doing. >> that is very good. >> so he tells me, no jokes for an entire year now. and then the 4-year-old is a total ham and will do anything he can to make you laugh and bite you. he will walk up to you and fight back and then start hitting you. >> kung fu panda? >> yes. my 7-year-old -- when they wrestle, he's very gentle with the 4-year-old. my 4-year-old swings hard. so it's pretty great. >> i know. i've got four of them. it's not easy. >> four? i can't even imagine. i would run away. >> you would? >> come on, one more. you're irish catholic, get in there. you only have two? >> two, that's nothing. >> you're just warming up. >> right. you're not done yet. you're still a young man. >> you know, it's like -- they are the greatest thing that have ever happened to me, that and my sportscar. i'm sorry. >> that's all right. >> "community" is on tonight and anjelica houston you got to say hello to her". >> a legend. and i got to be interviewed by you. >> you're delightful. i always admired you even when you made fun of me. >> were you ever mad? >> no, i thought it was hysterical. one time i did this thing upside down i don't know if it helps her depression but it sure helps mine. i started laughing. very funny. nice to meet you. >> good to meet you. >> i'm very happy that your show is back on. coming up, the one and only academy award winner, anjelica houston. 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