away to build future. that allows a less stressful life, quite frankly. >> this is why we've been fighting. >> you don't put money away. >> i think it's something you should use to get more money, take measured risks. >> he like to risk his, i like to save my, i don't want to lose it. that's frankly a way a lot of spenders and savers are. >> he has a minivan. >> and a motorcycle. a perfect metaphor. in our relationships or dealing with any part of this economy, our goal for you this hour is by the end of this hour, you will feel confident about money and speak money in your job, with your mortgage banker, with your spouse, with a little more confidence. >> we wrote a book about it, but we didn't do it alone. jeff garr deer, lynette, cal fanni-fox, and louis barajas. welcome to all of -- >> we've talked about this before. there are people who think they could speak money. they live paycheck to paycheck, maybe putting some in a 401(k), but beyond that it's a completely foreign language. that will hold them back? >> absolutely. i just go back to they're not aware of how they're speaking money and what the money is for. >> right. >> the purpose of the money is to -- no one is taking anything with them, so how do we use for a better quality of life. >> it's not pursuit of the money at costs. we're not about that. >> you obvious say -- louis just said everybody speaks money. when your kid comes home with a report card that's not appropriate, are you mad because they didn't study or worried that my goodness, my kid's future just got flushed down the toilet, into you he didn't do the right thing in math? lynette? >> and as a mom of three kids, i can attest to that. does that mean they're not going to have a good job, won't have the economic and career advancement that we all want? at the end of the day, when it comes to speaking money, it's true that we speak money every single day. we paper our credit card bills, flip the gas tank, we worry about the mortgage, et cetera, et cetera, but for a lot of people, they don't feel confident about their skills in a certain area, maybe in investing space, long-term planning, insurance, whatever. that's the sort of overwhelming feeling that i think a lot of americans have. >> ali and i, jeff, ali is the spender, i'm the saver. >> and it physically paints me to see how she saves it. >> it's true. he makes his money grow, and mine is to make sure i have enough for three 529s and retirement for me. people are different, but that doesn't mean either of us is wrong. >> when, as parents, we do have these differences, the i didn't know and the yang, i think it's important that we model these behaviors for our children, so that they do get a good balance of the parent who may want to risk more versus the one who may want to save more, as louis says, when it comes to speaking about money, it's important we do it in front of our children without making them crazy. we want to bring them into the culture of understanding what investment and saving is all about so that it becomes part of our lives. >> we don't do it in front of each other sometimes. when you're intimidated by money, doug, you deal with people i think they come to you as a financial planner, because they think they have money problems to solve, when in fact they're not talking the same language to each other. >> oftentimes they haven't had those conversations together. getting in the room and speaking about it is one of the first times they have laid it all out there. it's something important to do, to understand who you are coming from, who is the saver, who is the spender. typically there is one or the other. you can survive when you have two savers. it's difficult to do that if you have two spenders. it's just a matter of opening the communication, like anything else in your life, getting it out there and understand you can get on a pa th to make it happen. >> what i often tell couples, i think god played a cruel joke on most of us who are married to a certainly extent, to invariably pair up a spender with a saver. you really can get on the same financial page, and it's a matter of the communication. when they come to you, it's the first time they've ever talked about it or whatever, but couples need to realize if you have different money styles or personalities, once you start speaking money and assessing your joint goals, you can get on the same page and make it work. >> it can be a compromise, you learn from one another, you become less of a spend are or less of a saver, where you try to find that balance. you do need the pro and the con in this thing, because ear not going anywhere, you're stuck in this climate of being comfortable. >> i think as people are attracted to each other, they offset each other, and it works well. >> but the problem is for some people, financial planning, money is about a product. for other people it's about a process. you're looking to create opportunities, what products are out there available for you. you're thinking when i get to a certain age, i don't want to be stressed out, i don't want to live on the streets. i want to be financially comfortable. even though you may have the same result, you'll approach it differently. if you don't. >> the things have changed recently. there are a lot of people planning for the future planning for the right now. what i hope in the next 45, 50 minutes, we can talk about even if you're planning for the right now you're still putting away for the future. >> so the whole point of speaking money, which you and i have learned, if you kind of roughly speak the same language, you know the vocabulary, louis just said buy in. you can buy into the other person's approach. if i kind of get where you're coming from, it makes it easier to understand. >> and you finally realize i'm right. >> many times over the last decade. >> we fight about money and the difference we're going to do it, one of us is an over-spender, can you guess the answer and why it's so important to understand? and how to fix it -- fix him, next. we told you that cadillac borrowed technology from ferrari to develop its suspension system? or what if we told you that ferrari borrowed technology from cadillac to develop its suspension system? magnetic ride control -- pioneered by cadillac, perfected in the 556-horsepower cts-v. we don't just make luxury cars. we make cadillacs. ♪ hark how the bells, sweet silver bells ♪ ♪ all seem to say throw care away ♪ ♪ from everywhere, filling the air ♪ [ female announcer ] chex party mix. easy 15-minute homemade recipes you just pop in a microwave. like caramel chocolate drizzles. happier holidays. chex party mix. [ male announcer ] it has an hd webcam, killer audio, and lids that switch to start every semester fresh. but mostly it helps me try new moves on and off the court. ♪ [ male announcer ] powered by the 2nd gen intel core i5 processor: not just smart, visibly smart. nobody does black friday like dell.com. visit dell.com starting at midnight and all weekend for instant savings on some of our most popular products. this won't be our last argument, but it's time to deal with the subject that ali hates -- saving money. i'm exaggerating. you don't like your money not sitting there doing anything. >> i can't imagine is in a bank account in the badger of a window in a bank in chicago where you get 0.8%. >> half a%, that means you're getting nothing, but me, i'm so afraid of risking money that i lose opportunities. so the point here is we have to figure out what you want your money to do for you and how you get there. that's budgeting, long-term financial, a lot of scary stuff that people don't like to talk about. mostly in america these days, it's about debt. that causes people a lot of tension. >> yeah. >> but can't go into this willy nilly. you need a plan, that's why we've written a book for this. doug flynn, and our great plan are with us. let's talk about retirements and budget. how do people who haven't -- this is whether you're a couple or you're just on your own. how do you start the process? how do you start the conversation? >> no one likes to budget. they don't want to know how much they spend on gifts for each other. >> but it's like a diet, if you don't keep track of every cally, just because you don't want to know the calculation. >> and most people don't have enough money to do everything they want to do. it's a good thing you have to start saving. once you save enough, then you can become an investor, that's the second part, but you have to know where is your money going? if you have enough money at the end of each month, you can start putting it towards specific goals. some people need help. if they can't find any money out of there, there's money being lost. >> a simple was to look at it 99 70/10/10/10. >> we clients with a piggy bank that as the one -- >> you gave one to me. >> with 70% and three piggies with 10/10/10. your kids are looking at you, and what are ugh doing and not doing? >> this is a great lesson for kids to understand about choices. after you earn money, that's how you get t. you don't marry it, inherit it, win the lottery. if you want sustain away security, financial security over the lifetime, everybody has to work for a living. after that, there's only four things can you do with money -- save it, spend it, invest it or donate it. i have a piggy bank with four different slots instead of the one little slot. >> a real money coach. >> we -- when i ask them what's their top values, they say their marriage or kids, and i said when your budgeting, does it show you're investing in your marriage or in the self-esteem of your children? where are you investing in yourself to get yourself more valuable for this global economy? you'll never see that on a budget. so there's a percentage that's missing for growth. again going back to the original quality of life issues. and you'll never see it on a budget. so i allow for that. >> lynette will inspire you for a minute. before you can have a budget and quite frankly grow your wealth, you have to dig out of the debt you've already put together. lynette dug out of $1 4u7bz,000 worth of debt. 100 grand. it's awful to admit. >> but you did it. >> that's correct, a decade ago i had $100,000 in credit card bills alone. it's awful, i know it of course now. i took three years, i paid it off. i never missed a single payment and i wrote a book about it. zero debt, so tort of explain exactly what i did. i knee if i got out of there are 100 in credit card debt, the average household that's holding about $10,000 could do the same. >> most people have -- if they have a mortgage they may have that kind of debt, so that's remarkable that you can do that. >> jeff, let's bring you in. you're a clinical psychologist, and there are a couple points we want to bring up. the first thing is you have to have meaningful conversations. everybody here has said the same thing. people don't say we've been talking about money for years with each other, now we want your expertise. you have to initiate the -- i think it's easy for two parts not to bring it up. you need to be honest, about yourself and with your partner about your financial situation. >> and your goals. what you want your money to do for you. >> exactly. this conversation really is about the only thing that you have to fear is fear itself. christine, you said this, you're afraid of what's at the end of perhaps not so much of that rainbow, and therefore we get into this whole idea if we don't talk about it, the issues will go away. well, you have to open it up. it's really just taking the first step of just having the conversation and a series of conversations, being willing to take advice from one another, dealing with the goods in, but you know the greatest news? you're actually addressing it, and that really is the very, very first step. >> i speak -- i spend -- i know that you need $250,000 out of pocket for medical expenses in ten years of retirement. i know i'm not saving enough for that and my 529 plans and other things. that makes me nervous. better to know it and face it. >> even beyond the numbers and seemingly scary statistics, there's a fundamental reason why most couples don't talk about money. >> some of them have fear of what they've done or failed to do. they don't want to be judged. they don't want to say, yeah, i had bad credit in the past, i made financial mistakes, i filed bankruptcy, i lost my home. i was unemployed and the bills got out of hand. people don't want to address issues, because they feel like they're going to be personally judged or called on. >> we could talk about this for hours. louis, you said something i want to get to after the break. you talked about preparing yourself for a global economy. understanding this new world order of money and its effect on you is critical. we're going to explain in just a minute. make sure you get on twitter to talk to both of us on "how to speak money." tweet us and we'll help you become fluent in the world's most important language -- money. thank you so much, i appreciate it, i'll be right back. they didn't take a dime. how much in fees does your bank take to watch your money ? 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[ male announcer ] innovative medical solutions. fedex. solutions that matter. ♪ imagine me and you, i do ♪ i think about you day and night ♪ ♪ it's only right ♪ to think about the girl you love ♪ ♪ and hold her tight ♪ so happy together [ male announcer ] when life changes, so can your insurances needs. use travelers free guide to better coverage to stay prepared. is your auto and home insurance keeping up with you? contact your local travelers agent, or call 800-my-coverage. let's make sure we're all speaking the same language. when it comes to this term "globalization." this is a term that's come to mean a lot of things, but what it describes is the growing number of people and nations with the access to the benefits of modernization, the ability to prospers, to get richer, to participate in this global economy. bottom line, when you're thinking about a job for yourself or your kids, you've got to think about careers that are either global in scope or give you access to this whole idea of globalization. >> that's because this is the way the world is going. but the problem for americans, ali, is how many people can go to china or india to get their next job. it's one of the pieces of advice you hear. you can argue about whether you should be going where the jobs are. imto bring in thomas freidman. tom, one thing about globalization, is it is changing the way the world works, faster than american workers ease skills can change. we hear a lot from experts on job placement, that you should be sending your college graduate kid to china or india totals a job. >> or learning chinese. >> but the vast number of people it's not even feasible in any scope. how do average families make globalization work for them? >> the think you have to understand is globalization has its up and down sides. our goal should be to cushion the worst and take advantage of the best. what is the best? the best is the fact if i have the spark of an idea now, i can go to delta in taiwan and thee they'll design it, and skip over to, and jump over to amazon, jeff bezos about dot my delivery. basically these are commodities, actually available to everyone. you would be amazed, people accessing a system where my customers can be global, my suppliers can be global, and my collaborators can be global overnight. that's happening everywhere. >> is america's education system churning out people who are able to take advantage of globalization and advantage their own family's well-being, or do we still have a disconnect with how fast the world is moving and how fast america is responding? >> we have both extremes, basically. we have a system producing the very people who are designing and driving the whole technological architecture of this new globalization platform, and we have people who are just so behind, they don't have a high school degree and can't possibly access it. >> tom, the bottom line, let's take it back to education. we do know, for those people who have lost jobs in manufacturing to what they call globalization, or as we argue sometimes, the advent of technology that would have eliminated some of those jobs anyway, we do have opportunities for younger people. i have countless ceos tell me the best thing a kid can do is an internship in another country where there's a different language, the able to learn that language. can young americans equip themselves for this new globalized world? >> no question. first of all, let's understand one thing. if horses could vote there never would have been cars. so this technological churn is going to happen. it's inevitable. the question is how you get the most out of it. the way you get the most is you've got to lean into this world. one piece of advice i always give is think like a new immigrant. new immigrant thinks i'm in this new country, there's no legacy place waiting for her at harvard. i've got to approach this world by understanding where the opportunities are and make sure i pursue them with more energy and vehiclor than anyone else we're all new immigrants to the hyper connected world finches the big competition is china. ali and i agree it's both those things, as you point out the two very extremes, so china, how important is it that the united states deal with china in a sensitive way so that we don't have protectionism, so that we don't have these two countries at odds in that of as secretary of state hillary clinton says rowing in the same boat in the same direction. >> we have to be very telephone with them. they have very -- they fiddle a lot with trade laws in a way that force u.s. company toss transfer their intellectual property there. that's been going on for a long time. all our strengths are hiding in plain sight. we do have a free economy. we have a place from google is not censored, where we imagine ideas. look at apple. apple to me has always been the model. imagine it here, design it here, okay? orchestrate the global supply chain here and use china where you can for the assembly, the lower skilled labor jobs and there's a huge market. we need -- or motto needs to be not always made in america, but imagined in america or orchestrated in america. that's where the high value-added jobs will be. >> tom, you're excited about it. i know you're troubled by some of the direction of things are going as well. so you're not sugar quoting it. so are we, tom freidman is the author of "that's used to be us" how america fell behind in the world it invented and how we come back. good to talk with you. >> thank you. your view? china? >>. >> absolutely both. and how the u.s. manages its relationship. >> but you out there, we outline some of them in the book, very specifically to take advantage of this as it's happening. it's the battle of the sexes how to speak money edition. women are increasingly controlling the money, but i have an important message. it has to do with how you manage your money and how you manage money with the men in your lives. that's next. .. .. nice try, they came to hang out with us in alabama... once folks heard mississippi had the welcome sign out, they couldn't wait to get here. this year was great but next year's gonna be