>> the two people who are the most important to me in my life, you and my wife, have the same name. >> hey, look up there. >> watch out, cnn. it's me, regis, hosting "piers morgan tonight." hi, everybody. it's me, regis. remember me. i'm a good pal of piers morgan. we five years ago started "america's got talent." i was the host and piers was a very, very severe judge. oh, boy, was he something. anyway, i'm very flattered to be here tonight and i'm very happy to have as my very special guest someone you don't see guesting anywhere. i mean, he just doesn't do it. people have tried for years. i mean, he just -- he's not a guest. he's a host. and a great host, too. speaking about david letterman. now, you know, you're not going to see david letterman walking in the streets of new york. you can look for him. you're never going to see him. you're not going to see him ever dancing at the waldorf. and you're not going to see him getting all dressed up to go to the metropolitan costume ball here in new york city. he just doesn't do things like that. but you can see him every night on his own show. and i must tell you how all this happened. because as i said, he doesn't really do this. but don rickles and i were guests on dave's show. and rickles was very hot that night. we had a wonderful show. and after the show dave took everybody out to dinner. so we're out at dinner and dave says what's next in your life? and i said, well -- i couldn't even think of what was next. and joy said, well, you heard from cnn today. piers morgan is taking a week off, they'd like you to do a night. and dave said, that's great. i'd like to be your guest. and i said, wait a minute. you want to be my guest? i've known you a long time. are you sure you want to be a guest? "i want to be a guest." i didn't bring it up the rest of the night. just before we broke for -- to go home, i said, dave, now, are you sure? and he said, "i'm going to be there." sure enough, he is here. and you'll see him. you know, on his own show, every night 1:001:35, he's streaking across the stage, looking like a million bucks, he'll come out and give you the best hour of television you'll see that day or that night. ladies and gentlemen, my guest, david letterman. >> oh, boy. >> you heard the applause. >> hi, regis. how are you? >> have a seat. >> thank you so much. >> dave, take a look around at how piers morgan lives. why can't we live like this? >> you know, i had to use the bathroom before i came out here. >> yeah. >> the lighting in the restroom is superior to the lighting on your old show. this place is amazing. it is remarkable. >> well, it's all brand new. now, listen, you're at a place over there on broadway, the old ed sullivan theater. >> yes. i love the ed sullivan theater. >> you did it over nicely. >> we were looking at different facilities around the city. this hadn't even been built. >> that's right. >> and we went in there. and it was a minute or two away from being condemned in actuality. >> sure. >> and by god, in a very short period of time they turned it from whatever it had been into just a first-rate television facility. and i'm from the school that you do tv in the studio. and so i was wondering if it could be in fact done from a theater. but the place is fantastic. i look around there every night and i think i'm so lucky to be a part of a production coming from this place because it's both intimate and it's as big as you need it to be and as intimate as you need it to be. >> and very nostalgic. i've done your show more than anyone else. but we've never really had a chance to talk about our childhood. i've got to tell you something, i had no idea this would ever happen to me, that i would get on television. i had no confidence at all, didn't pursue anything in high school or college like the stage or anything that might have helped me a little bit. but i did fall in love with bing crosby's voice in the late '30s going into the '40s. they played bing crosby every night. i loved him and the sound of his voice and the way he acted. and that was my only inspiration to get involved in this business. now, take me back. when you were a young little guy in indianapolis, did anybody inspire you? did you have a favorite comedian or comic or somebody? >> i mean, it wasn't bing crosby. i mean, you -- this is right after the civil war. i mean, you are way back there. >> i knew you'd say that. >> well, when i was a kid, my mom, before i went to school, used to like arthur godfrey. and in those days arthur godfried dominated television. he had like a morning radio show. then that was -- part of that was a television show also. there was a simulcast of the radio show. and then he had a nighttime talent scouts show on monday night. and then later in the week he had an hour-long variety show. so our household was full of arthur godfrey productions. and i can just remember being fascinated by -- when they would open the television part of the simulcast they would have the earphones and the earphones would just be hanging there to suggest where arthur would, you know, place his head. and there was something about the microphone and the earphones and the equipment that i found fascinating. and i just thought, there's something very cool about this. >> this is september 1st, 1969. i saved this magazine. >> wow. >> for 43 years. >> wow. >> and this is the first year three networks went with the talk show host late at night. and this is merv just started at -- >> which one is merv? this is merv right there? >> this is merv. >> good heavens. >> good heavens. joey bishop, your buddy. and johnny carson. >> he started in '67. and johnny in 1962. now, what were you doing in 1969? were you still in school? >> 1969? >> yeah. that's when this howhole -- >> i was just graduating from college. >> did you have an eye on show business? >> well, it's a silly story. but where better to tell a sill your story than here? i was like you lost and i had some friends that as the grades progressed i realized how important it was to study and make good grades if you wanted to have the same peer group. and i was falling behind. i couldn't do anything. and all of my buddies were math and chemistry and algebra and on and on and on and i was kind of on the soft curriculum. you know, it was shop and that sort of -- nothing wrong with that. i can remember doing so poorly my mom was very upset about it and she said we're going to try to get you into a trade school. and again, that would have been fine. but i was not able to keep up. and then one semester i took a public speaking course. and the first assignment for the public speaking course was a five-minute extemporaneous -- what do they call it? speech. ad-lib speech. >> sure. >> so i got up and did that. and whether it went well or not, i felt it went well, and i realized, oh, this might be my saving -- my lifeline. i might be able to turn this into doing something. >> isn't that nice? >> so then i stopped worrying so much about other things and just knew that all i have to do is find a way that you can get paid for what i thought i could do. whether i could or not. >> when did the comedy phase hit you? you that wanted to be a comedian, you wanted to get involved in comedy? >> as a kid most kids are funny. kids are always trying to be funny. and all of my buddies were funny. and i just thought, well, this would be great if i could jet get a job writing. i'd worked in television and worked in radio. but it was not as challenging or as exciting as i wanted it to be. it was pretty hibtive. you know, you were a weatherman, a news man or a kid show host -- >> so one night you just packed up and drove to hollywood? >> well, in a manner of speaking, yes. in 1975 i did that. my wife and i left, put everything in the truck and went to california. >> went to california. and things happened right away. >> happened right away. but not because of me. it was just in those days as i said before, if you wanted to go to california and become a comic or become involved in comedy, writing, performing, whatever, the blueprint for that was laid out in front of you. every night on "the tonight show." they would have brand new comedians, some returning, some new, and johnny would invariably say before or after, that was steve landesberg, you can see steve landesberg every night of the week at the comedy store on sunset boulevard here in hollywood. and pretty soon you realized that that was an instant connection. >> absolutely. >> comedy store, you knew that they had the amateur night. and then "the tonight show." so in 1975 i went out there. and three years later i was a guest on "the tonight show." it was so much easier for me. and it was great for "the tonight show" because they needed people to -- in those days the show was 90 minutes. >> that's right. >> your show was an hour. just seemed like 90 minutes. but it's the psalm thing. >> you get on the johnny carson show, it's your turn to go on the show, and i think you knocked them out that night. >> i did pretty well. but first-timers tend to do pretty well because in those days they had a wonderful screening system. they would have talent coordinators would come to see you and they would work out a set and they would say yeah, we think we like you and we'll be back in six weeks. and they didn't -- the last thing they wanted to do was have a guy come on and not do well, have a woman come on and not do well. because this was "the tonight show." this was the cadillac. >> absolutely. >> they wanted to look -- you know, there was never a soft moment on that show. >> you're right. >> so you were pretty well guaranteed through working with these people that you were going to do all right. >> and you did just fine because not everybody got invited over to the desk and heard this from johnny carson. >> i had to hitchhike over here this evening. and this guy stops and picks me up. he's driving an old beat up dodge with a bed frame. they kind of go down the freeway at an angle like -- right away i'm apprehensive about getting in. the guy driving the car is wearing a cowboy hat and a hospital gown. see? and he's rolling -- the thing that bothers me most of you will about him, he's rolling the biggest joint i've ever seen in my entire life. he was using pampers. >> i have a feeling from your shot on this show tonight you're going to be working a lot outside the comedy store. >> thank you. >> really. i hope you come back with us. >> i'd love to. >> there's johnny. >> he predict td right there. >> that breaks my heart to see johnny again. please don't roll any more time. >> really? >> i'm coming across the table if you roll another tape. there's going to be bloodshed right here. i can take you. >> we worked for two months to put this together. >> i don't care. i don't want any more tape. >> we're not going to do it. you heard him! cancel the tape! when we come back, we'll talk some more about -- >> now, why don't you get a show just like this? you should have a show just like this. this would be great. >> you think so? >> oh, yes. and they could put it right in the cnn line-up. i'm sure there's room. you got piers morgan. you got pretty boy. what's his name? dawson meehoffer. huh? weather. nice weather coming up today through this tuesday. evening. you don't have anything on your calendar for this evening. fantastic..linguica. i found 5 restaurants whose reviews mention linguica fairly close to you. joke. two iphones walk into a bar.. i forget the rest. that's funny. was it something i said? yes it was. 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>> fine. thank you. >> mrs. letterman, can i ask you a question? >> sure. >> has david ever told you that he hopes that i get run over by a sparklets water delivery truck so he can get the 11:30 time period on nbc? has he ever told you that? >> yes. he talks about it frequently. >> he talks about it frequently. >> frequently. that was pretty good. >> that was your mom. >> johnny. just johnny. >> oh, gosh. did you have a good relationship with johnny? >> yes. but he made me very nervous because he was i think the biggest star in television. and i was just a kid who had, you know, kind of followed the beacon of his light coming out of burbank. and to be on his show was endlessly nerve-wracking. and then to actually be with him in a social situation i kind of have a history of -- i got to know jack parr. >> yes. >> and i had a great deal of admiration for jack parr. and he had worked with hal gurney. and i started to spend more and more time with jack parr. and i would get more and more comfortable with jack parr. and i began to notice that jack, bless his heart, would tell the same stories over and over again. >> yes. >> they were great stories. >> yes. >> fantastic stories. but that was -- that was it. and then the inevitable -- i think he started to dislike me. >> who, jack parr? >> yeah. >> and then i felt uncomfortable. so i was always worried that if i relaxed and got comfortable with johnny the same thing might happen. do you understand what i'm trying -- >> i understand exactly what you're saying. i became friends with jack parr, and i understand everything you're saying. but he never spoke ill of you. he thought you were great. >> well, it may have been something i was feeling that didn't actually exist. but i just thought, this relationship with johnny carson is custom made for me to screw up. because in those days johnny carson meant the world. i mean, that was it. >> yes. >> that was the hall of fame. you wanted that endorsement. you wanted that friendship. because a, if you didn't do well on the show you were never coming back and it was going to be a much harder road if you were not friendly with "the tonight show." and b, to have johnny carson as a friend, oh, my god. that's a tremendous blessing. so i was always nervous about that. >> but you know, i remember it well. you followed him on your show. you followed "the tonight show" with your show. and he admired your show very, very much. he loved all of the different things you were doing. and he would say to our friend peter lasalle, i'd like to do something like that too. so one night they tried it. something about a candy machine that he was trying to get function -- something you that would pull off beautifully. and it flopped. and he never tried again. but i think, you know, he -- there was a bondship that -- did you have a chance to tell him what he meant to you? >> all the time. i mean, the first time i was on the show it was -- yes. all the time. >> good. >> and the last time that i saw him, we were talking about it earlier today, of course the way life is you don't know that that will be the last time, but it turned out to be the last time. and it couldn't have been a lovelier evening. and i cherish that because it was -- it was unusual. it was not going to happen under other circumstances. and it was my wife, myself, johnny and husband wife on johnny's yacht that he had anchored in the hudson. and it was a friday evening. and we sailed off just before sunset and went up the hudson, up under the george washington bridge, which is lovely. turned around. now the sun is setting. we go out to the statue of liberty and see that at night as the sky is darkening, and then you turn around and we headed up the east river, and you see the lower tip of manhattan. and it was a sight and an experience like you never -- you know, you never get to see new york like that. >> no. it really is a terrific sight. i've been up and down those rivers, and it's -- especially at night it just blazes. >> yeah. and he was comfortable and we were chatting. and i knew that i always had -- if the conversation got slow or there was an awkward moment all i had to do was bring up jack benny. >> he loved jack. >> oh, he loved jack. and i think owed a great deal to jack and his delivery and his mannerisms and his humor. and he would just start telling story after story about jack benny. so it was a great evening, and i'm so proud of that experience. >> sure. pbs had a two-hour special on johnny. and i saw it that night, and i couldn't sleep the rest of the night. it kept me awake. you know? it was so sad. the end. you know, that he would leave us like that. it was just -- >> right. well, i remember having that feeling the night he retired. >> mm-hmm. >> because it had become such routine, not just for me but for everybody in the united states. >> yeah. >> to see him say good night for the last time, i found it very, very emotional. i have not seen the documentary you're talking about. >> and how did you feel when i said good-bye or when i moved on? did you have the same feeling? >> honestly, i was puzzled because i thought there's no reason for you to retire. there's no reason for you to leave that show. i misused the word retire. no reason for you to leave the show. >> well -- >> and you've got to see about getting a gig here. because this is ideal for you. >> all right. now, you want to know something? i think you're a pretty good actor. i want to show you a scene from i think the only movie you ever made. "cabin boy." >> "cabin boy." >> with chris elliott. >> chris elliott. >> wait till you see this guy in this scene. >> "cabin boy." would you like to buy a monkey? >> that's it. wait till you see this. it's dave the actor. roll it. >> you know what you are? you're one of those little fancy lads, aren't you? ha, ha, ha. boy, you're cute. gosh, what a sweet little outfit. is it your little spring outfit? you couldn't be cuter. you're so adorable. oh, my. you know, you remind me of my niece sally. lovely girl. she's a dietician. hey. would you like to buy a monkey? >> not bad, huh? >> it was excellent. >> no, you did good. >> it was excellent. don't kid yourself. it was fantastic. >> any aspirations to become an actor? >> no. you know what? i could be a really bad actor. but i'm so thankful that i never had any interest in. because one, once you get into it, they're long, boring, difficult days. and two, i could never be good at it. and if you're not going to be any good at it, what's the point of wasting everybody's time? >> i did an acting bit in "hot in cleveland" recently. betty white's -- >> oh, yeah. i think i read about that in the "times." >> and i had trouble remembering the lines. >> i know. i know. >> oh, my god. i'm not used to that. >> no, i know. if you don't care about it -- you d