key. >> live below our means and put away to build wealth for the future. that's going to give cushion and allow us to have a less stressful life. >> this is why we've been fighting for years. >> you don't put money away. >> money is something to get more money. take measured risk. >> he likes took risk his money to grow more. i like to save mine because i don't want to lose it. that's frankly the way a lot of men and women are, saefrs and spending. >> she has a min issues van. >> he has a motorcycle. perfect metaphor. in our relationships or dealing with this economy our goal for you for this hour, by the end of the hour you will feel confident about money. you will be able to speak money with your job, your mortgage banker, your spouse with a little more confidence. >> we wrote a book about doug flynn, a certified financial planner, lanett cox, founder of "ask the money coach.com and louis, a personal money advisers. >> louis, i want to ask you first, people think they can't speak money, live paycheck to paycheck, maybe putting a little away in a 401(k). beyond that a completely foreign language to them. that's going to hold them back, isn't it? >> speaking money, everyone speaks money. they are just not aware of how they are speaking money or what the money is for. the purpose of money is a little better life. i've never seen a uhall behind a hearse. how do we use money to live a better quality life. >> it's not about the pursuit of money, that's suspicious in its own right. we're not suspicious about that. >> you often say when you think about louis just said all these decisions about money, everybody speaks money, you don't necessarily know when you're making a decision. when your kid comes home with a report card not appropriate, are you mad because they didn't study or worried my goodness, my kids future is flushed down the toilet because he didn't do the right thing in math. >> as a mom of three kids i can attest to that. you're thinking if they are not going to do well in school, does that mean they won't have a good job, have the career advancement we all want. at the end of the day when it comes to speaking money, it's true all of us do to some extent speak money every day. pay our credit card bills, fill up the gas tank, worry about the mortgage, et cetera, et cetera. for a lot of people, they don't feel confident about their skills in a certain area, in investing space, long-term planning, insurance, whatever. that's the sort of overwhelming feeling a lot of americans have. >> the think about ali, he's the spender, i'm the saver. it physically pains me to spend to much money. >> it physically pains me to see how she saves it. >> he makes his grow, that's his goal. mine is for three 529s and retirement. people are different but that doesn't mean it's wrong. >> the important thing and looking at what lynette is saying when as parents we do have these differences, the parent that might want to risk more versus the one who might want to save more, develop their own style. when louis says when it comes to speaking about money, we all do it. it's important we do it in front of our children without making them crazy because we want to bring them into the culture of understanding what investment and saving is all about. >> we don't do it in front of each other. you're intimidated by money. doug, you deal with people, i think they come to you as a financial planner because they think they have money problems to solve, debt, savings, investments. in fact, they are not talking the same language, speaking money to each other. >> for the at all. oftentimes they have not had the conversations together. getting in the room and speaking about it is the first time they have laid it out there. it's something important to do, to understand where they are coming from, who is the saver, who is the spender. you can survive if you have two saefrs, difficult if you have two spenders. you find what's important to you. open communication. getting it out there. once you know you can get on a path to make it happen. >> you know what i also often tell couples who feel like they are financial opposites, god played a cruel joke on most of us who are married to a certain extent to invariably pair a saver with spendere splurger with extreme hoarder. if you're financial opposites, your relationship is doomed or never going to work out or anything, you really can get on the same financial page. don't you agree, jeff? it's a matter of the communication. like you said, when they come to you it's the first time they have ever talked about it. but couples need to realize even if you have different money styles, different money personalities, once you start speaking money and assessing your joint goals you can get on the same page and make it work. >> it can be a compromise. you learn from one another, become less of a spender or saver, you try to find that balance. you do need the pro and the con in this thing because you're not going anywhere because you're stuck in this whole idea of this climate of being comfortable, make each other a little less comfortable. >> people acontracted to each other they offset each other, works well. those are good things that come out of it. >> the problem is, for some people financial planning is about a product, others about a process. you're looking to create opportunities, what products are available for you. when it's to a certain age, i don't want to be stressed out, live on the streets, financially comfortable. even though you might have the same end result you might approach differently. if you don't have a buy-in you're never going to reach goals. a partner totally different and opposite. >> things changed so much recently. to be honest, there are a lot of people planning for the future are now planning for right now. i hope in the next 45, 50 minutes we can talk about even if you're planning for right now you're putting away for the future. >> the whole point of speaking money, which you and i have learned from each other, if you kind of roughly speak the same language, know the wordsish the vocabulary, buy in, you can buy into the other approach. i don't have to take it from your approach and you don't have to take mine but if i get where your coming from -- >> you finally realize i'm right. >> plane times over the last decade that's happened. >> we fight about money. the difference, we're going to do it on cnn. one of us is overspender, one is underspender. can you guess? 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[yawning] homeowner's discount. safe driver discount. chipmunk family reunion. someone stole the nuts. squirrel jail. justice! countless discounts. now that's progressive. call or click today. this won't be our last argument throughout this hour but time to deal with a subject ali hates, saving. >> sort of. >> you don't like not doing anything with it. >> i can't imagine putting it in a bank account where i saw a banner in the window of a bank in chicago that says you can get .8%. >> half a percent, inflation is more than that. me, i'm so afraid of risking money so i lose opportunities. the point here is we have to figure out what you want your money to do for you and how to get there. budgeting, all that scary stuff people don't like to talk about. >> mostly in america these days it's about debt. that causes people a lot of tension. you can't just go into this willy-nilly. you need a plan. this is part of why we've written a book for this. we're responding to a lot of you who say we need a plan. doug flynn and our great panel are with us. let's talk about retirements and budget. how do people who haven't had this conversation, this is whether you're a couple or just on your own, how do you start the process? how do you start the conversation? >> nobody likes to budget when you get down to it, how much you spend on gifts for each other. >> it's like a diet. you don't keep track of every calorie like you don't want to keep track of every dollar. >> the unfortunate part most people don't have enough money to do what they need to do. a good thing you start saving. once you start saving, you become an investor. that's the second part of this. you have to know where is your money going. if you have enough at the end, you can start putting it toward specific goals. some people need help doing that. if they can't find any money, there's money lost. >> simple way to look at it, 70, 10, 10, 10, live on 70, safe, invest, 10% you're able to give back somehow. that's your goal, 70, 10, 10, 10. >> we do that. clients with a piggy bank, if they have a new baby. >> gave one to me. >> 70%, three little piggies, 10, 10, 10. your kids are looking, what are you doing, what are you not doing? >> a lesson for kids to understand about choices, what you can and should do for money. after you earn money that's how under the circumstances it. you don't marry, inherit, win in the lottery. if you want to have sustainable, security financial security over a lifetime, have to earn it. after that, only four things you can do with money. save it, spend it, invest it or do fate it. i have a piggy bank for my kids with four different slots instead of one little spot. >> when i ask what's their top value, they tell me marriage or kids or wife. i say where in your budget does it show you're investing in your marriage? where does it say you're investing in the self-esteem of your children. where are you enforcing in yourself to get yourself more valuable for this global economy you're in. >> 70, 10, 10, 10, missing for growth. going back to original quality of life issues, you'll never see it on a budget. i allow for that. >> i want to bring you in. she will inspire you for a minute. before a budget and grow your wealth, you have to dig out of the wealth you've put together. you dug out of $100,000 of debt. she knows what she's talking about. $100 grand. >> it's awful to admit. >> you did it. >> a decade ago in 2001, i had $100,000 in credit card bills alone. it's awful. i know it, of course, now. i took three years, i paid it off. never missed a single payment then wrote a book about it. zero debt, the guide to financial freedom to explain what i did. i knew if it out of $100,000 in credit card debt, the average household holding about $10,000 could do the same. >> most people are not carrying -- if they have a mortgage they have that debt but they have a house against it. that's remarkable you can do that. jeff, let's bring you in. you're a clinical psychologist, understand how people work on this stuff. a couple things we want to bring up for people. first thing, you've got to have meaningful conversations with your partner about this. everybody said the same thing. people coin and say we've been talking about money for years. now we'd like your expertise. initiate the conversation, take the initiative, even if somebody isn't bringing it in. you need to be honest about yourself and with your partner about your financial situation. >> and your goals. and your goals. what you want your money to do for you. you have to be honest about that, too. >> this conversation really is about the only thing you have to fear is fear itself. christine you said this, you're afraid what's at the end of not so much of that rainbow. therefore we get into this whole idea if we don't talk about it the issues will go away. you have to open it up. it's really just taking the first step of having the conversation and a series of conversations and being willing to take advice from one another, dealing with the good news, what may not be the bad news. you know what the greatest news is you're actually addressing it. that really is the very, very first step, the hardest. >> part of my problem i speak money in such a way every day i know it costs $70,000 a year for a nursing home, with a roommate. you need $250,000 out of pocket for medical expenses in ten years of retirement. i know i'm not saving enough for that in my 529 and that makes me nervous. >> know it. better to know it than face it. >> even beyond the numbers and scary statistics, look, there's a fundamental reason why most couples don't talk about money. some of them have fear of what they have done or failed to do. they don't want to be judged. they don't want to say, i had bad credit in the past. i made financial mistakes, had bankruptcy, unemployed, bills got out of hand. people sometimes don't want to address issues because they feel like they are going to be personally judged or called on for having made certain mistakes. >> we could talk about this for hours. louis, you said something i want to get to after the break, preparing for a global economy. the language of money is entirely global, here, china, germany, anywhere else. understanding this new world order of money and its affect on you is critical. we'll explain. >> get on twitter to talk to both of us about how to treat money. if you have questions we'll help you become fluent in the world's most important language, money. ♪ [ woman ] ♪ what i want this season ♪ if you'd like to try and guess ♪ ♪ it is something very special ♪ i would readily confess [ dogs barking ] ♪ 'cause all i want this season ♪ ♪ is something from your heart ♪ la da da, la da da [ male announcer ] thinking of others this holiday season, travelers. in order to speak money around the world, let's make sure we're all speaking the same language when it comes to this very important term, globalization. this is a term that's come to mean a lot of things. but what it really describes is the growing number of people and nations with the access to the benefits of modernization, the ability to prosper, get richer, participate in this global economy. bottom line when you're thinking about a job for yourself or your kids, think about careers global in scope or give you access to this whole idea of globalization. >> that's because this the way the world is going. but the problem for americans is how many people can go to china or india to get their next job? it's one of the pieces of advice, argue about whether we should be going there where jobs are. i want to bring in pulitzer prize winning columnist from "new york times." the one thing about globalization it is changing the way people work faster than american skills can change. we hear a lot about experts on job placement. you should be sending your college graduate to china to get a job. >> or learning chinese. >> my worry is the vast number of people in this country that is not feasible in any scope. how do average families make globalization work for them? >> the thing you have to understand, globalization has its up sides and down sides. our goal should be to cushion the worst and take advantage of the best. what is the best? the best is the fact if i have a spark of an idea now, the spark of an idea, i can go to taiwan, skip over here to manufacture, make this, jump over to amazon, do my fulfillment and delivery, freelancer can do log and and i can get an accountant on craigslist. all these are commodities available to everyone. you might say we have a mom and pop. can't really do that. you would be amazed at the number of people starting global companies overnight, accessing a system where my customers can be global, my suppliers can be global and my collaborators can be global. overnight. that's happening everywhere. >> is america's education system churning out people able to take advantage of globalization and advance their own family's well-being by that or do we still have the disconnect with how fast the world is moving and how fast america is responding? >> we have both extremes basically. we have a system that is producing the very people who are designing and driving the whole technological architecture of this new globalsation platform. and we have people so far behind, don't have a high school degree, can't possibly access it. >> let's take it back to education. we do know for those folks who lost jobs in manufacturing or globalization or argue advent of technology that would have eliminated those jobs anyway, we have opportunities for younger people. i have countless ceos tell me the best thing a kid can do in college or after college is an internship in another country where there's a different language. the ability to learn that language. can young americans equip themselves for this new globalized world? >> there's no question. you know, first of all, that's the only thing, understand one thing, if horses could vote, there never would have been cars. this technological churn is going to happen. it's inevitable. the question is how to get the most out of it. the way you get the most out of it, lean into this world. one piece of advice i give to people is think like a new immigrant. how does a new immigrant think. i'm in this country. no legacy place waiting at harvard. okay? i have to approach this world first of all understanding where the opportunities are and make sure i pursue them with more energy and vigor than everyone else. we are all new immigrants to the hyper connected world. that's how you've got to lead into it. >> the big competition is china. there's no question. there's this ongoing debate whether china is a threat or opportunity. ali and i agree it's both those things depending where you are in this country as you point out two extremes. china. how important is it the united states deal with china in a certain way so we don't have protectionism, two countries at odds or as hillary clinton says rowing in the same boat in the same direction. >> we have to be tough with them. they have an undervalued currency which takes jobs away from america. they fiddle a lot with trade laws that force u.s. companies to transfer their intellectual property there. that's been going on for a long time. all our strengths are hiding in plain sight. we do have a free economy. we have a place where google is not censured. look at apple. apple has always been the model. imagine it here. design it here. orchestrate the global supply chain here and use china where you can for the assembly, lower skilled labor jobs and as a huge market. we need to do -- our motto needs to be not always made in america but imagined in america, orchestrated in network. that's where the high value added jobs will be. >> tom, you're excited about it. i know you're a little troubled by some directions things are going as well so you're not sugar coating it. these are challenges we're in. you are excited about it. so are we. tom friedman is the author of "that used to be us" how america fell behind in the world it invented and how we can come back. thanks, tom. good to talk to you. christine, your view. china. grea