>> we were emerging from a dark winter into a hopeful spring and summer finding light in the darkness. a long, dark years. one whole year, toughest and darkest periods in this nation's history. darkest weaves ever known. greg: speech writer googled phrases with word dark in it and if we do our part if we do this together. >> if we do our part, if we do this together by july the 4th there's a good chance you, your families and friends will be tiebl get together in your backyard or in your neighborhood and have a cookout and barbecue and celebrate independence day. that doesn't mean large events. with lots of people together but it does mean, small groups will be tiebl get together on july 4th with your loved ones is a goal. with a goal a lot can happen. conditions can change. [laughter] greg: i hate to tell the old part but not no say in who is coming to your picnic day or yours. we threw tea into a harbor for fewer reasons than this anyway whole they think lasted under 25 minutes but took 50 days to prep. all of the planning and all the time for just a few minutes. like space launch no wonder staff acted like this when it was over. >> touchdown confirmed. safe on mars. [applause] [cheering] speech was short by dark me after spring break but the media was so relieved joe made it through they ate it right up. hey was is it very moving? >> i think it was very moving -- the president is very good at articulating empathy. >> president biden spent most of his first address to the nation not taking a victory lap but rallying us for the rest of the race to come. he is the guy we need right now. >> he didn't say you need me he said i need you. you can tell their collective response was also a sigh of relief i'm not saying biden is getting free ride from the media but questions will be all multiple choice but this offers a contrast remember this animal animal -- >> i have to come over and see the fake news what do you have john? let me say be quiet. quiet. qiet -- quiet. you're with cnn you're fake news. fake news which is you, you, you don't want to do anything about it. should do that -- john? i want your one sided report do you think i should do that? >> i miss that but now we have this. [inaudible conversations] come on press we're going move on. come on press. crisis at the border, sir. come on. let's go. greg: let's hope they get him back to the rest of the field trip before the bus leaves. but at least he remember the names of really important people. >> i want to thank the -- the former general i keep calling him general but my the guy who runs that outfit over there -- i want to make sure we thank the secretary for all he's done. greg: imagine him ordering at denny's the round, round things you pour the -- stuff on it, the sticky stuff listen i'm not great with names either. but how many of these things does he do a month? and if that's when he's at his best -- what's he like afterward? working media might tell us that. they aren't. working that is. like i said a contrast in style but not presidents but coverage of presidents. it is kind of oven right, joe? >> well good morning america. caught me on my monday workout. like to start the day with a thousand pushups. there we go. all right. feel the burn. let's do some one handers shall we? there we go. oh, yeah. do not try this at home. i'm a professional and my wife is a doctor. come on, man. >> all right. [laughter] and what about the white house dog? no, no, no the other white house dog. involved in an incident that resulted in a minor injury they sent it become to delaware which is biden for gone to live on a farm upstate. the previous incident occurred in the shower with joe which -- makes me wongder who brings dog into the shower. that is the question i want answered. and if it were trump before the election the press would have that answer like they have all of those answers knew about all of those meltdowns and tantrums. now it is all qiet quiet on the front what's the media doing? not much. and they aren't wearing much either. here's brian pulling porky pig. taping his show minus his pants because that would take extra four seconds you would think he would learn something but we should be grateful it wasn't an open shorty robe. but the media is used to looking stupid. look at their coverage, and immigration crisis under trump is now a daunting challenge for joe. not a crisis, a challenge. it is survivor for kids. we've asked jen about it. we've asked jen a lot of things and she never really answers. >> the reports out there that the number of unaccompany meerns tripled in last two weeks to 3200 plus is that number accurate? >> i'm not going to confirm numbers from here. >> why won't you confirm that number that's a very important number. >> we've been clear that there's an increase with more children coming across the border than we have facilities for at this point and time. those numberses are tracked by the department of homeland security so i'm suggesting you talk to them about specifics. greg: maybe she deserves a break. a spring break -- [laughter] wow. jen what a place. are you ready to go? spring break here we come. ♪ ♪ >> it is a spring break. that is actually why i invited you and this unidentified person over -- i thought we could, you know, spend it here. >> and do what? >> i thought maybe first, we could color code, and alpha my wardrobe. >> yeah. that's not exactly what i had in mind. but do some shots? >> i thought you might mention that. so that's why i got this giant bottle of vegetable juice. panama city beach or vegetable juice that's a tough choice please don't -- invite min else over i would like to keep this a -- small gathering. >> oh. don't worry about that. i wouldn't do that to my friends. >> oh. yes, i have read a lot about the friends. joey likes meatball subs and -- ross lot loves dinosaurs. [bleep] this is going to be the worst spring break. greg: , of course, joe couldn't do his first address without a swipe at trump claiming again he didn't do enough on vaccine front but we get it. the dems can't let go. thank god there's a network to deal with this obsession. >> you're waving atn all trump news because everything else is boring by comparison. >> i'm anderson lemmon with the headlines, folks in vermont got a jolt this week meteor entered earth's atmosphere the size of a bowling ball that exploded with force of over 400 pounds of tnt sources say it sounded eerie like donald trump's infamous tantrum and meltdown when is he didn't get his way. anonymous witnesses say he's a big baby who never learned decent manners or how to compassionately listen to other people. he's just a cruel heartless person out for himself. won't give them back -- daylight saving time agains this weekend, don't forget to turn your clocks ahead one hour. if only we could turn the clock back five years avoid a trump presidency i mean if there's one event that cries out for a time machine this is it right, and that's not just my opinion. scientists say that -- maybe they don't i don't know who the hell remembers. these pills are really -- and buckingham palace issued a short statement responding to harry and meghan allegations of racism. but some critics say that royal family has not condemned racism forcefully enough, it is the story the whole world is talking about, and yet president trump has remained quiet on this. why? why won't he say anything? he stays quiet then that's end of all of this. good-bye all trump news. the lights are going to go out because we can't pay the bills we're going get laid off. my five will starve and all going to be trump's fault. more headlines in 30 minutes. i'm anderson lemmon. greg: i feel better already relax just three years and nine months left until media gets become to work until then take nap try to forget who is running the country that's exactly what the guy running is doing. >> period let's welcome tonight's guests. he once produced cheers and now he's heres -- you. made me a little bit more effort -- it have writer producer rob long, he's got a pleasant face and a grizzly crawl space. host of the quiz show on fox nation, tom try to change a tire and kat timpf and a good thing he's not afraid of heights and on fox nation tyrus yeah applause, applause from an audience that will soon return at some point. yay dave rob. >> i will wow. greg: i like yell make me feel good inside what do you think of biden address did you watch it? >> i think that the chief benefit of president biden is that i don't have to watch any of these speeches. i think that is why america chose him and i think they did -- they like the idea that like they can go now months and not really think about it and we all say he's asleep takes naps all of the time doesn't do anything that is the future of the president joe biden. you can see the kind of like the old guy in like you have a christmas dinner like he's old relative sitting there and he wants to tell you a story about day he met -- you know, louie armstrong everybody is it like i don't know how to get out of this room now. look it is -- for everything there's a season for every yen there's a yang and this is very, very deeply in yang period. greg: you know what would be great. >> on at the same time. >> made me think if yang is running for mayor and against him could be -- why am i talking tom save me. what -- what do you suppose hasn't said biden answer more questions? >> they're in denial it is funny when people say that he's cognitively slipping they everyone gets offended how dare you say that that's an out i'm doing that to be nice because if not you have to say that's regular joe. you know what i mean no he's missed a step but i thought that the feature of the speech was not boredom highly offended by the speech nt you're taking any notes in your monologue i have -- i wrote down in any notes i said it is called independence day for a reason. >> greg said it. but -- the thing is it is so true greg thank you for saying that. he just not have my permission to give me permission about who i can have a barbecue with. okay. so i think we should all get out there memorial day is the target. let's have sol big parties like memorial day. >> that's what i thought so shocking. fourth of july. i am ordering just so you know, alert the cdc i'm ordering very large easter ham. [laughter] i don't care who know it is. but that's my date -- >> it is true. get me. >> it is true kat we have memorial day, people are planning on going outs on memorial day. so i mean, but you don't celebrate -- >> fourth of july i celebrate every day as a fourth of july. actually -- yeah. look, and he was talking -- he is good at at least appearing a thet but i saw things that i was upset the duty of the government to protect people. yes that's true but also to protect individual rights. which seem to be the thing you're missing and he's saying vaccination available for everyone. may first so then you can have a tylenol tiny fourth of july party? like i'm supposed to be like oh, thank you, joe. like absolutely not. i'll be drinking on the street like every other fourth of july. >> every other july -- [laughter] august, september, october. little golden december got to drink itself. >> fifth of july. >> you know, tyrus i can't believe we've gone around this group and we have not even brought up without his pangts on. >> he posted that on purpose. that wasn't a leaked shot he was like people, they like this. >> it was a leak somewhere. >> trying to become a leg model far beit for me to push upon their dreams up to him to find out it is not going happen. like to address the -- the anderson lemmon situation. the trophies are mine. you've got the cat i'm keeping trophies. settled this. please move on. [laughter] second thing there are no jokes it hurt my heart to watch that speech. because i know how awful it has when camera crew guys mess around with a tell prompter that is painful you see him squinting because must have been pulling back too far and moves it close at one point -- our president had to lean forward -- squinting to say, fourth of july. i need you. no that was all improv yes. he the script was too far away didn't use the big letters like they do for you and ones like me really small, really fast. and mine are small and go -- go, go so it wasn't that he's losing but his teleprompter guy is terrible move that up four or five feet, and we'll see that that boom, that i'm just saying come on man squinting for a reason you don't squint qhs you forget you squint when you can't read anymore. >> that's true. like he was going finish that by saying i need you to help me into the tub. [laughter] >> but i wouldn't do that? like get your own ass in the tub. >> also by the way showering with a dog is way easier way to bathe them than to actually give them a bath. >> something you know. >> in the shower that's how i clean him. >> sorry. trying to normalize weirdness. >> exactly. coming up it is more cuomo on cuomo action. i'm a performer. always have been. and always will be. never letting anything get in my way. not the doubts, distractions, or voice in my head. and certainly not arthritis. voltaren provides powerful arthritis pain relief to help me keep moving. and it can help you too. feel the joy of movement with voltaren. so you want to make the best burger ever? then make it! that means cooking day and night until you get... 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[laughter] >> no that's bad when skunk -- yeah. pnches today, the governor has been accused harassment by seven different women and chris says seven racists as you know chris is not allowed to talk about his brother scandal so he gives us this instead. >> people here on the right continue to savage markle and her story something struck a nerve with them. was it a multiracial woman speaking out against an institutional white royal family? oh, no it is not about that. what is it about? >> what is it about? that's right don't believe meghan that's a racist says man who is black on the inside. >> looking out of the window -- watching the asphalt grow -- thinking how it all looks hand me down -- >> how do you know the words -- >> black on the inside. at least he kept his pants on. things may be looking up for cuomos sources say governor will release names of six women he hasn't sexually harassed. and said more families were coming. all right the thing was tom at the beginning of the show, it was going to be about how chris cuomo says stupid stuff to take the heat off ann drink. but now that's impossible. because no matter how many dumb things chris cuomo say it is gets worse for andy everything is misdirection question of to pay attention to the cuomo and cnn this other cuomo he's got his nursing home scandal and now they want to focus on the ladies when the thing is he has a real scandal that we should be paying attention to that is much worse this is why in democrats because there's about 15 or 20 governors who did what cuomo did with nursing home and covid policy and they want to pox on the women. because it takes the focus off what they did wrong. >> i think you're arguing over which massive scandal was more massive that is wrong. >> now claiming i'm an outsider. i'm not part of the political club. i was thinking as i was driving to work other the mario cuomo news this morning what outsider i am. >> he wasn't driving. [laughter] >> you know, tyrus i'm still pissed off that he's -- >> saying he was black on the inside? >> oh, no you can go with that. sphwhreg if we all have that power. boy. >> on the inside bro, let me go. [laughter] sometimes you just shouldn't. i for one i always stay same thing everyone has a right to be heard, and if he wants to fight it and the investigation as you should because you should fight it if you didn't do it but having said that, 15,000 dead people -- evidence that you're connected to it where's that investigation? like, i mean, i don't understand that other thing is bad. murder is always been worse in my book in my neighborhood maybe the black inside guy going murder is worse. but they're both terrible but i think -- you murder one person you go to jail forever. and if you're complicit in the murder of 15,000 people, that's kind of -- really bad. >> yeah. they'll argue that was a procedural error. >> covering it up isn't a procedural error. it is audacity all of the mounting number accuser after accuser it is just as a new yorker right, he has had so much control over my life -- for the past year, how many people i can have in my home to pay money to the government. how dare you have the audacity to have so much control when somebody preem saying you can't control yourself. greg: you can't touch anybody but he can touch everybody. >> i don't to touch anybody. greg: all right rob i'm going back -- i'm angry that he -- he beafngly it is cultural appropriation on fox news. cancel culture is our issue. >> i have to say as somebody white on the outside -- and very very white on the inside but you have no idea how white i am on the ins