fox news saturday night. hop in. ♪ welcome to another episode of the cable news party. passive tiger king for letting this outfit, i believe this was the last one by carol dawson's husband which explains the bite marks on the back. anyway, joke of the year end i was 2020. [applause] there is. [laughter] a jewish comedian who not only one the yellowjacket the last time he was on but columbia students offered a pair of cement shoes to match. ehrenberg is here, there it is. [applause] she's never played in the wnba but chased more than caitlin clark. kennedy is back in the couldn't be happier. a former cia officer because people start to talk when you get thrown out of your strip club. [laughter] but do not judge until you've seen sexy codes. mike baker is here. [applause] the crowd goes on and just when you thought it couldn't get any hotter, but the stomach for a full choke from a tito pointing junior in the house. anton for tomorrow's parade which oddly enough is my new york is out of town this weeke weekend. but something against you all, most white people can't hang because you guys throw next level parade, do you not? thank you. we are used to seeing patrick's day parade, people marching in listening to bagpipes. >> we can't, is advancing in listening to exhaust pipes. motorcycles, loud. one of our panelists as a former male dancer. could you keep up the puerto rican day parade? >> how many knives what i have? [laughter] kennedy, over the years many march in the parade in your apartment afterwards. >> me and my 14 children would like thank them, thank you. >> put her down as a maybe. baker, you're from idaho so the puerto rican is a person in the caribbean which is only funny because your 80 times more for me. >> so that the country that. >> no. >> shame on you. reasons to celebrate, governor kathy hochul decided to follow controversial congestion pricing pegs that would charge commuters $15 a day to drive in manhattan. hochul : but to anoint for andrew to hit on decided people are struggling too much call for extra cash. i made jokes all the time but good on her for acknowledging where these are because i am sick of politicians or like everything going great, isn't it amazing? the statue of liberty is selling the pics on only fans. not a good time in the country but is it possible they are not charging the fee to drive out of the city because they realized there's so much more money to be made in people leaving? >> new york is like california we can't get enough you hold so people are paying to leave, not trying to get as much as they think. >> very well said. a former cia guy, supposed to be on the lookout things that are strange and unusual. it's not that this, they are not trying to screw the little guy? >> it's not you talk about idaho at the beginning because they are coming to idaho every single one of them landing in our state. a wonderful place to be and been told by my friends to shut up on nice it is. >> there is that, too. my only problem is every time i show up, they think i'm in the witness protection program. >> killed the shows you've done. >> the egyptian theater? shot to them. >> what you think new yorkers will spend $15 on, weed or weed? [laughter] >> i had to tell you, thank, i think heroin i think is the new thing making people sleep through the exhausting summer. >> according to a new report it sounds like the president will spend $15 on old-timers meds, not good. journal published an article claiming behind those doors, joe biden showing signs of slipping. you need to tell me the guy who shakes hands with invisible people and gets lost is not all there? i don't know that i buy this but the white house pushback, it's not a cheap going of his opponent. [laughter] you buying reports the biden is putting? i saw him talking to a dead guy last week. >> i don't understand phrasing because everything i've seen behind closed doors, he's not just slipping behind closed doors. we see it everywhere, mental acuity problem and i'm not anxious for saying that, everybody is getting older and we are heading in that direction but people age differently and that is the problem biden is facing, aging significantly different than opponents. >> i like how you will not affect kennedy went they said people age more than others. >> you pay for my food job and facelift. >> i didn't pay for it, i did. [laughter] >> do you think trump charlene into his 34 convictions pointing out he's on the candidate declared mentally fit to stay on trial? >> criminals are saying, that's what new york is full of them. he's doing great, 34 is a good number like 45, something algorithmic. >> number 34. >> one, two, 34. [laughter] >> you think reports like this are the reason kareem tapia seem to be more we met her in d.c.? >> she was overserved? [laughter] >> she was going to have to tell so soda sure she could grip the green and i think they poured something in her sock. [laughter] >> she was. [laughter] so incompetent, she think she's going to be president when biden dies. >> oh no. she better get that ready it is not good. shout out to kj p who was from the other party and anyone watching like how could you say hello to her? was a black lesbian drunk at a party, thus the first half of my entire search history. [laughter] no way are we not living this out. >> good thing it wasn't a dalmatian there. >> the descent went to washington to press conference to help more black entrepreneurs enter the liquor industry. probably and nobody because sales slowed down for some reason. [laughter] fifty poses with lawmakers including this one. it's worth noting after hanging, 50% is going by 69 cents because of inflation, dirtbags. fondling a man during his showing up beetlejuice which is in the sexiest show in the world. if you've never seen it, here's a picture of beetlejuice. so silly. [laughter] asked lori lightfoot the let's go to the panel on this. we saw d.c. she did look ready to mingle. you think washington for call of duty call of duty? [laughter] >> i think it's a multi- tool player. he knew what he was doing when he went into the office. >> masterminding the idea of masterminding the community which is not true but if you're trying to do something productive, isn't congress the last group of people you would meet with? , absolutely, ground zero for dysfunction. i can't believe you brought up the old crack -- [laughter] we just dispelled that rumor finally after all these years. [laughter] >> it's not real? >> well released unknown information shortly. >> the age of instagram, wouldn't he be smarter to encourage more entrepreneurs to sell ozempic? >> yeah but there's something cool about a guy that's been shot nine times hanging out with such a pro-gun advocate. [laughter] they are fantastic to make the alton ultimate partisanship. >> i love how right he's leaning and getting shot nine times will do that to you. >> that's true. [laughter] >> that happened to you at last year's parade. >> the biggest celebrity news of the week, alec baldwin, her own reality show. this show is going to kill. [laughter] don't look at me, he did it. baldwin still facing involuntary manslaughter charges in new mexico stemming from a shooting on the set of his film, rest so shocking to see this offering from tlc and brought us classy programs such as culberson trs. they aired seasons of little people, big world because before the show was renamed gutfeld. [laughter] >> what you more excited about, watching fulton pretended to be a nice guy or his wife pretend to be spanish? >> where are the children? [laughter] >> you spent three months in spain came back sounding like javier. [laughter] >> she's not lying. [laughter] your critics have said they wouldn't watch their show at gunpoint which is a real possibility. will you be watching? >> first of all, nothing to do with that practicing. [laughter] just saying. this is incredible he would show this so soon after that disastrous situation on the set of this movie so i'm not going to watch it. i still haven't figured out why they call themselves -- i knew a guy who sent me to the er on the production team and of government a more depressed version of my life, is just creating complete [bleep] -- i'm sorry. >> it's saturday night at 10:00. if people have aligned to draw, they dread like eight minutes ago. [laughter] now this is interesting, alec baldwin did the worst trump impression comics that. but stick with me, is it possible shows ahead, his own problems will trigger guys trump? manslaughter in the spotlight, probably more significant than whatever he did with stormy daniels. >> it's good they will magnify how bad he is and watch how bad his entire family becomes. i can't wait until i have pro- palestine protesters and stuff. >> the participants went after him like they were going after alec baldwin demanding cease-fire like dude, he can't get a cease-fire on his own movie set. [laughter] could you help a brother out? tonight's show is off the rails and we're just getting going. iconic sermon is here to explain the mysteries of the universe. thank you much with her again, wheel of fortune cookies. take away. ♪ ♪ elon musk tomorrow to the internet and now they are hooked on corn. reclusive amazon reportedly connected to mosques that like services months ago and complaining nobody wants to work because they are all watching dirty movies. sound like my stuff. trouble peter told new york times when it arrived, everyone was happy but things have gotten worse. young people have gotten lazy because of the internet and they are learning the ways of the right people. oh no you didn't if he thinks only white people are doing born, he hasn't seen my search history but i don't want to dismiss the comments. this tribe has a lot old but does the internet keep up the -- does the internet ruin everything? kennedy, i argue we did peak late 90s. the people they put in in the 90s, it was waving the white flag. do think the world was better before the internet? >> in some ways but i think it's unrealistic and paternalistic. what drives me crazy is when social scientists, no longer using august two still feel like yeah people's brains are bigger and living longer and people are happy because there watching porn. [laughter] you want to keep people in the dark ages and i understand want balance but to say they should live in mud huts and [bleep] holes and get dysentery because it's a better story for us in a good thing for us to study. >> it would cost you 3500 a month on the upper west side of manhattan. [laughter] anybody thinking about moving here, we can get you the deal. >> i would argue it is the phone that is the culprit in terms of people's unhappiness because portability means we are always connected and that's what's making us feel conflict driven, internet good but spending too much time. >> musk sent them an old-style computer and they had to wait around and it would be public shaming involved. >> but this is the calm, that's where the internet is the monistic gratification. we all remember what was like to get pornography in a different era and these people if they want to see born with for the internet, they had to go to a kyiv and pick up a rock from a carpet inscription on the wall and look at what they drew. >> they have to do what we had to do which is find discarded a magazine in the woods someone else dropped or you go to 711 and by 14 items and hope they don't notice use of the healthcare in their. [laughter] is a lot of work and now it's just there. it is frustrating. i do long for the days before the internet because i got kids and you've got kids and you got several. [laughter] but we are not doing them any favors. >> to correct the record since you set the record straight on that record, i have one kid according to maury -- jenny put up some numbers. >> i was a nailbiter. [laughter] >> i've never been on a more crowded stage of my life, thousands but do you think that is the problem with the internet? if they can have one access they would like the internet? >> it's like why should we be the only ones lazy self-centered children who won't talk to us? wants us the only one analyzing about beautiful phenomena but one social scientist says you could give split phones and they shouldn't have the internet and i don't disagree with that. it's hard to be given all this technology at once with no filter or explanation. >> it's likely sped things up too quickly so -- >> it's traumatizing at that. >> we have seen some traumatizing things. >> they don't even know what they are watching, they think are weird rain god sent them this. they are right to be exploited. i set this up as a nigerian prince and getting a bunch of bundles from these people. >> but you have to split the money with bob menendez. >> i got to introduce crack -- >> police they will be waiting longer for more. >> this lovely rub to us. [laughter] >> baker in brazil tonight. >> thank you for bringing us democracy, please don't do it again. [laughter] >> amazon's.addition, astrophysicist and host of startup, here to answer all questions. give us something good. ♪ with the freestyle libre 3 system know your glucose levels. no fingersticks needed. all with the world's smallest and thinnest sensor. manage your diabetes with more confidence and lower your a1c. try it for free at freestylelibre.us why would i use kayak to compare hundreds of travel sites at once? i like to do things myself. i can't trust anything else to do the job right. kayak... aaaaaaaahhhh kayak. search one and done. ava: i was just feeling sick. and it was the worst day. mom was crying. i was sad. colton: i was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma. brett: once we got the first initial hit, it was just straight tears, sickness in your stomach, just don't want to get up out of bed. joe: there's always that saying, well, you've got to look on the bright side of things. tell me what the bright side of childhood cancer is. lakesha: it's a long road. it's hard. but saint jude has gotten us through it. narrator: saint jude children's research hospital works day after day to find cures and save the lives of children with cancer and other life-threatening diseases. thanks to generous donors like you, families never receive a bill from saint jude for treatment, travel, housing, or food, so they can focus on helping their child live. ashley: without all of those donations, saint jude would not be able to do all of the exceptional work that they do. narrator: for just $19 a month, you'll help us continue the life-saving research and treatment these kids need. tiffany: no matter if it's a big business or just the grandmother that donates once a month, they are changing people's lives. and that's a big deal. narrator: join with your debit or credit card right now, and we'll send you this saint jude t-shirt that you can proudly wear to show your support. nicole: our family is forever grateful for donations big and small because it's completely changed our lives and it's given us a second chance. elizabeth stewart: saint jude's not going to stop until every single kid gets that chance to walk out of the doors of this hospital cancer-free. narrator: please, don't wait. call, go online, or scan the qr code below right now. [music playing] ♪ here's one for the scumbags -- a guy once told me you're supposed to cheat on your lunch break. this is real intelligence. if you are a dirt bag watching at home, cheat on your lunch bag because it pulled into your day, you will have to lie about where you're going, you don't need a story to sing after work for you get home late single folded into your day and is not an issue in this guy broke it down for me like he was the tony robbins of side checks understand if you want to recognize your true best life like sir, i'm not putting that much thought into this. >> my question is, the girl you are cheating with, i want to talk to her because she's only getting 30 minutes of your time out of the day. >> i think what the guy -- he cheats on his lunch break with that she's paying. he's on the lunch break, she's working. [applause] she's at a board meeting. ed board meeting. [laughter] not her, don't get me wrong. [laughter] >> a girl. there's broadcast history if there ever was some. not every day genius astronomer behind start talk down behind the planetarium. we are joined by his excellency, author of the new book to nvidia date and beyond, neil degrasse tyson is here. listen to the crowd. there was a strong move demanding we refer to you as his excellency. >> i did not do that. [laughter] >> at the. understand you got hooked on astronomy. >> my first service visit. >> did you visit the pink floyd laser light show or something? >> the dark side of the moon and i knew there was no such thing as the dark side of the moon, it turned me off. >> loss that was like a laser show it is just a laser. eventually lasers were imposed lasers items at the checkout associate people stopped going. i was in the universe early. >> jumps campaign song is the wall. [laughter] >> good night, everybody. [laughter] >> we read you wrestled in high school. >> captain and undefeated. >> i have to know this, did you progress me? >> no the junkyard dog or something? >> no. [laughter] >> what about the word no did you not understand? >> say it louder. [laughter] >> clearly i didn't understand the wardrobes to work with me. >> it was a good movie. i hosted a fox nation documentary called will abandon fiction. i do think we landed, my question, how come all these years later no other country has put a man on the moon? >> a couple of things. everyone remembers, remembers it incorrectly. the thinking americans, it's in our dna, we are explorers we take that sentence, put a man on the moon was a decade is out and it's storing language and look at the same beach what he said before, the events of recent weeks. couldn't out of the man's name. recent weeks are any indication of the impact of this adventure and minds of men everywhere, we need to show the world freedom over the path of tierney. there's a battle cry against communism and that's why we went to the moon. i don't think it's any other reason, that wrote the checks. the i don't want to die force operating on puzzle. when we got to the moon we were there for like two or three years no russians. [laughter] look over our shoulder, no questions. >> i love that. it's amazing what you think russia never went? we beat them to it? they said we beat them to it but between you and me, somebody beat me to julia roberts. julia, if you are out there -- >> didn't have 100 billing dollars, a new high ground not much utility in providing a cold war. >> think of saying what it said made sense. >> you got the community college endorsement. [laughter] that is a big deal, sure. i beat mike tyson in 1987. [laughter] five time super bowl champion. you are not dealing with just nothing. are we alone in the universe? >> any person who studies the problem, look at the ingredients of life, carbon and nitrogen, everywhere in the universe. like i started almost weekly as it possibly could have so no one denies the likelihood that we are not alone in the universe. >> have you driven for taxi, i've definitely met others. >> that's a different question. part of me is thinking aliens have looked on earth and ran back home and said there's no science. >> .com twitter. >> there likely are out. what is the age of the universe, what is the age of the universe? you think there is a recent revision to the universe? >> there is some uncertainty but small uncertainty. to camps, 13.8 billion years, 13.7 but that's approximately where it is. that settles, the final answer is in that zone. it won't be 80s alien or 6000 -- no. it will be in the high 13-point something. >> relatively give or take same age as nancy pelosi. [laughter] good night, neil. good luck. >> bi