canyon fire in colorado. towering flames, as you can see, are sending families fleeing for their homes. the fire has destroyed 350 homes and killed two people. earlier i talked with major neil harlow about the challenges of fighting fire from the air. >> extremely high temperatures. everything is causing these fires to burn hot as they are creates big problems for us. the aircraft doesn't perform, we're flying right to the edge of the envelope. >> there's one bit of good news to tell you about. firefighters now have 100% containment over another colorado fire , the massive hyd park fire, that we've been reporting so much on. new allegations in the jerry sandusky rape case tonight. an e-mail thread involving the university's president and the athletic director. they knew they had a problem with sandusky back as far as 1991 but decided to handle the issues internally. here's what else we're working on for you. tonight a cnn exclusive. he had it all, basketball, money, fame. >> good luck to you, mr. williams. >> until he lost it all. jayson williams on his rise, his fall and why he says prison saved his life. >> it can't be her, she's my best student. >> and turning a blind eye to mean girls who turn into even meaner women. tom cruise and katie holmes and the end of tomkat. why some say scientology is to blame for the latest hollywood breakup. but first we're going to be very direct here because he wants us to be. from first round draft pick to locked-up felon. tonight it's the cnn exclusive. by all accounts jayson williams was a star at the young age of 22, a first round draft pick in 1990. few could rival the 6'10" forward when he was under the net, few people could. it seemed his career had no ceiling, he continued to rocket to higher heights. that was until a game with the atlanta hawks williams collided with stephon marbury and broke his leg. in one moment his entire career on the court was over. his plummet hit depths unknown on valentine's day in 2002. williams was showing off a shotgun to friends in his new jersey mansion. he snapped it shut and it fired. it killed his chauffeur. eight years later he was finally sentenced in that killing. he says his time in prison changed him to his core. and jayson williams joins me now here tonight. how are you doing? >> thanks for having me, don. first of all, i want to say, you know, i've caused a lot of pain, and i appreciate you having me on here today to express my remorse, and i come to you humbly and i want to say i'm sorry and i take full responsibility for my actions. >> i thank you for saying that. i know that you're a bit leery, a bit nervous about coming on. i said, just be yourself, express yourself and let people know how you're feeling. you signed an $86 million contract. you were on top of the world with the new jersey nets. and what really became part of what we call a dramatic fall happened when you broke your leg, right? did you think then, my goodness, this is over or did you think that you had more to go on to? >> you know what happened, don? i lost my way. as soon as i got hurt, when you take away your structure, here comes destruction. and i was a guy who woke up every morning with the same time with my dad, we fed our animals, we work construction together, thn i went and played against charles oakley, michael jordan, all the great one. but you take away the structure and i just had too much free time. >> you were always an affable guy even after that you had a career, i think, nbc, you were going to go on and become a commentator. but what most people want to hear, take me back to that night. you were in your mansion. i believe you had the harlem globetrotters over to your house that night. then you were in your bedroom and all of a sudden with the gun. what happened? >> well, don, i can just say i was terribly reckless. to go back to that night, we went to a globetrotter game. i had my adopted grandchildren with me. some of the globetrotters and others went back, when i'm a young man -- i'm making no excuses, nobody wants to see your picassos on your wall, if you have any, of your artwork, they want to see your guns. and i recklessly showed a gun to somebody and went to snap it close and the gun went off and it killed mr. christochristofi. i if i can take it all back and just be much more careful in the whole situation, i'm so sorry for all the pain that i've caused. >> have you spoken to his family? >> i've spoken to his family. >> what did you say to them? >> i have spoken to his family only through written statements where i would love to sit down with his family, his sister, but that would be a private event. that won't be a media event. that would be just between me and his sister. >> what would you say to the family? >> how terribly sorry i am and how much pain i caused his family. and i'm just terribly sorry. it's difficult for me, don -- i've caused so much pain. >> does this -- how often does this replay in your mind? do you think about this every single day and often? >> all day long, you know. all day long. i'm not making any excuses for, you know, i take full responsibility. i understand the damage i've caused, collateral and everything else. i think about this all day long. >> i want to take you back to that moment, in 2010 when you were sentenced in the new jersey courtroom and you had the handcuffs. and, you know, this one for everyone is really tough to watch when you think that you're at the top of your game. listen to this. >> mr. williams. >> with regard to the gag order, this sentence erad case all prior orders. >> he says to you, i want to finish this up so that you can go and serve your sentence. then he says, good luck to you, mr. williams. it looks as if you are -- your whole life is falling apart at this moment and you know it. >> well, that was ten years ago. and once you're going through a court case for eight years, you have a relationship with the court clerk, you have a relationship with the court, the lawyers and everybody else. you're seeing everybody for eight years. and i think after that, at that time right there, i honestly thought that the judge honestly thought i can, you know, showed remorse, i showed repentance and reform my life. >> did you think you were untouchable at the time? >> i think so. i think at a time where you think that you're bigger than everybody else, and you know, when you lose your way sometimes, those are the things that happen, when you just lose your way. you know, i lost my way, don. >> you lost your way. >> i lost my way. >> i want to read something here you said in this statement from the deputy attorney general involved in the prosecution. he said, mr. williams has a dark side. nobody knows the real jayson william. there is a real jekyll and hyde like divide. does that dark side still exist or did it ever? you know what? hold that thought. we need to take a break. i'll ask you that on the other side of the break. hmm, it says here that cheerios helps lower cholesterol as part of a heart healthy diet. that's true. ...but you still have to go to the gym. ♪ the one and only, cheerios ...but you still have to go to the gym. high schools in six states enrolled in the national math and science initiative... ...which helped students and teachers get better results in ap courses. together, they raised ap test scores 138%. just imagine our potential... ...if the other states joined them. let's raise our scores. let's invest in our teachers and inspire our students. let's solve this. ♪ i hear you... ♪ rocky mountain high ♪ rocky, rocky mountain high ♪ ♪ all my exes live in texas ♪ ♪ born on the bayou [ female announcer ] the perfect song for everywhere can be downloaded almost anywhere. ♪ i'm back, back in the new york groove ♪ [ male announcer ] the nation's largest 4g network. covering 2,000 more 4g cities and towns than verizon. rethink possible. covering 2,000 more 4g cities and towns than verizon. chances are, you're not made of money, so don't overpay for motorcycle insurance. geico, see how much you could save. all right. we're back now with former nba star jayson williams, everything he knew about his life changed on valentine's day 2002. he was playing around with a shotgun when it went off killing his chauffeur. i want to read something that he wrote here. letters to his father, mailed them to a friend while you were locked up in prison. >> that's right. >> you mailed some letters to your father. he's now published those into a book called "humbled: letters from prison." he's with me here now, thank you again. and you're a little nervous. don't be nervous. i know this is hard for you. let people know how you feel. don't be nervous. you're doing a great job. after you were sentenced you made a declaration, i will work endlessly to improve myself and make positive contributions to society. it is almost like you were foreshadowing to where you are now. is that so? >> the first thing i had to do when i got to prison was examine myself. and then i had to be remorseful which i was always, then i repented, then reformed, but the first thing was examining what causes me to get this trouble all the time? what's my dark side? and it was alcohol. >> is that what it was. >> it was definitely alcohol. >> you said it took eight years -- almost eight years between when the incident happened and then you went to prison in 2010. and during that time you crashed your car, you got on probation, you had a dui, you had a divorce, you had all these things, why did you have that moment of clarity within that time? >> well, it was a difficult time in my life. like i said before, you know, the collateral damage that you cause, but sometimes people that you think are around you should be telling you the right thing. as an athlete, you can't make excuses. it was all my fault. i was an alcoholic at the time, i think. i think i was a functioning alcoholic. >> were you drinking that much? >> i think i was drinking that much. >> were you drinking a lot? >> i definitely was. when you have structure and you get up every morning and you have to be somewhere, but once you retire and you lose your way and you don't have the right people telling you the right things. but i'm a grown man, i take full responsibility. >> you had yes people around you. >> no excuses. i was a grown man. >> you said before the break, mr. williams has a dark side, no nobody knows the real jay suspect deny systems. there's a real jekyll and hyde like divide. is that correct? >> i think he's incorrect. >> you think he's incorrect. >> i'm a christian first. like i said before, there's times i lost my way, but when i was definitely drinking at times i think maybe i did have a dark side. i know i did. but i think i'm a good man who has done a lot of good, and i have to continue. >> and you were in real prison, like you weren't in a celebrity prison. you were in rikers, then you went to state prison in new jersey. >> that's right. >> so you were in real prison. >> that's right. >> what was the profound moment there? >> any time a 22-year-old correction officer can tell you to bend over or get naked or do anything and you lose your freedom, i think right then you realize that you are in prison. it's just not being 6'10" and being a famous athlete is going to help you. it's just at that point right there that you can't do anything. >> searching you for contraband and all that. >> that's right. >> you have two children, you adopted your sister's kids, and what's your relationship like with your kids now? >> that's a personal matter. i love my kids. i can't make up time for that. i never used his kids as a pawn. i would never say -- i will not put my kids -- my kids did not make this decision. >> you are going through a divorce. >> i am going through a divorce. i can't make up for the time i lost with my children. all i can do is better myself as a christian and as a father. >> i've got to ask you this because we have this whole thing now with penn state and jerry sandusky. you had an issue when you were a child. do you think that affected your behavior. you were molested. did you deal with that as a child? >> i definitely did. coming from an interracial relationship with my mother being white and my father being black, there were times when i didn't want to cause any more drama to them so i kept a lot of things to myself. until i got to prison, i just couldn't keep a memoir or journal, i just started writing letters to my father and it flowed. when it started flowing, those things the started coming out on to the paper. i never meant this to be a book. i was just sending these letters home. and those are one of the letter that came into play with me. and i'm sweating up in here. >> it's actually cold in here. >> it's difficult to explain with child molestation in two or three minutes, but i'm willing to talk to all groups and anybody i can help. i'm just trying -- sometimes i wake up, don, i want to save the world, and then i want to save my community. and sometimes i got to wake up and save myself. so it's a difficult transition, and like i said, i caused all this pain. what else can i tell you but i'm sorry? >> it's a different world. you were in there three years? >> yeah, 26 months. >> it's a different world. you didn't recognize the world when you came out. what did you mean by that? >> well, it's a lot more difficult when you get out of jail. you almost become institutionalized. people say you have to be in there four or five years, no, you become afraid of certain crowds. difficult to be around people, you wonder what are they thinking, do they remember you for a basketball player or somebody who is reckless. all i can do is put my confidence in god every day. people always say, did you find god in prison? and i know that i was two phone calls away from anybody in the world, you know, and who else are you going to call on to bring you peace and comfort in jail but god. and that's the only one. i couldn't call my lawyer, i couldn't call the warden, my dad, nobody could help me but god. he brought me such peace and joy and comfort, and i'm just here trying to be a better christian. >> jayson, what do you fear worst? do you fear you're going to slip up again? >> that's a fear. you got me in here sweating and i don't know what's tomorrow. all i know is i got to take it one day at a time. i got to stay with god first and then in the center of everything i do. that's the fear. i don't know where tomorrow lies and i know what today is. today i'm trying to be the best man that i can be. >> what motivates you to continue to do that? is it because you don't want to go back or do you feel that you can never make up or make good on what happened to you? >> to help people to understand what makes things happen the way they happen. i don't want to just come out of prison and just say, hey -- and not explain it. because to let people know in one instant, in one instant, how something can change your life. and this is the reason this journals came about and we published them. i'm not making any money off the book. all the proceeds go to charity. i want to make sure that a young man or young person never has to go through this without me at least giving my two cents on the situation. >> the next chapter for jayson williams, do you know? will you ever work again? because you were going to go on to be a big contributor or commentator for nbc, that was the next thing, then this tragedy happened. what's next for you, do you think? >> one day at a time, to be honest. one day at a time. god is good. >> the book is called "humbled: letters from prison," and it's fascinating. i've read excerpts from it. you sent those letters to your father. >> thank you. >> i appreciate it. jayson williams, everyone. >> thank you. >> up next -- >> well, it can't be her, she's my best student. >> turning a blind eye to mean girls who turn into even meaner women. in alabama we had more beautiful blooms... in mississippi we had more good times... in louisiana we had more fun on the water. last season we broke all kinds of records on the gulf. this year we are out to do even better... and now is a great time to start. our beatches are even more relaxing... the fishing's great. so pick your favorite spot on the gulf... and come on down. brought to you by bp and all of us who call the gulf home. ♪ in a world where ♪ there is so much to see ♪ there's still no other place ♪ that i would rather, rather ♪ rather, rather be ♪ [ male announcer ] dip into sabra hummus and discover a little taste of the world. enjoy sabra dips. adventure awaits. sleep train's 4th of july sale is ending soon. enjoy sabra dips. time is running out to get the hottest deal on a new mattress. right now, save on sleep train's most popular posturepedic and beautyrest mattress sets. plus, pay no interest for 36 months on tempur-pedic and serta icomfort. big savings and interest-free financing? these deals aren't just hot... they're explosive! sleep train's 4th of july sale is ending soon. ♪ sleep train ♪ your ticket to a better night's sleep ♪ mean girls. there's one in every school. >> oh, my god. i love your skirt. where did you get it? >> it was my mom's in the '80s. >> vintage. so adorable. >> thanks. >> that is the ugliest skirt i've ever seen. >> funny enough, that's a clip from the movie "mean girls." but your bully is no longer just the stereo typical meathead or a thug, your bully can also be a she. she come in designer jeans, shoes or even pigtails. she can be stunning, unassuming or even tom boy. bullies are not just for boys any more. i'm not t telling my next guest anything she doesn't know. her daughter elizabeth. welcome to both of you. >> thank you very much. >> elizabeth, you are a bully victim, what happened to you? >> my freshman year of high school, there was a situation with my roommates, and it was just so shocking to me because i wasn't expecting that to happen in the college environment, but it would just be little things they would do to make my life harder on a daily baze and i was living with them, so it made it more difficult. >> i want to show you something that just came in this week. a mother in belgium found a video of girls bullying her autistic daughter. mom posted the video on facebook in an effort to make it stop. it's a bit hard to watch. >> yes. >> is it a good idea for mom to post this, lori? >> no, absolutely not. that's part of our issue. i'm a teacher, a high school teacher. and not only are we videotaping harmful acts and words to bus monitors and classmates and posting them on facebook and other websites, now we have adults doing the same. we need role models so we can work with our kid to speak up when they see such things happening. and adults need to be doing that as well. >> do you think that girl bullies are worse than boy bullies? here's why i ask this, mom -- >> yes. >> -- because boys will have fights, not that any of it is any good, but they'll have fights and they'll move on. >> exactly. >> girls will talk about each other and become a bit more insidious when it comes to language about and spreading rumors. do you think that it's different for girls? >> absolutely. girls are very manipulative. it can be very silent. and it's relational bullying to something that's very simple like what you just saw in the video clip there from "mean girls." that suggest compliment, then turn around and make the smart remark. sometimes the victim of the smart remark will still be standing there, and they want them to still be standing there. it's very underhanded and catty an manipulative. yes. >> elizabeth, was that your experience? >> yes. they found out personal things about me and then they also played a prank on me that they videotaped and then put up on facebook, and i didn't know until the next morning when i chec