seriously intelligent. you know, first off, no grip on science? science, no. no science! did these people ever look? did they all flunk it? do they think science is a lobby sf. >> can you imagine what will happen tonight when i turn lewis black loose again? also, new golden globe nominee claire danes shared the secrets of president obama's favorite show. >> does somebody die? from "homeland" claire danes, this is "piers morgan tonight." well, i'm in the decision to leave "america's got talent" i wondered who simon cowell could possibly get to replace me. now we know. i want to say, i feel a tiny slither of sympathy for the first poor tone deaf singer to face the rough of the great howard stern. and howard joins me now. howard, congratulations. >> well, piers, i thought it was appropriate you called me first. you created work for me. you left "america's got talent", and i became fascinated by this idea of replacing you, although i have to say you were one of the greats. you are definitely one of my -- between you and simon, i would say you were the two best judges ever on these type of shows. so big shoes to fill. >> well, thank you, howard. i think there have been two reactions to the appointment, which i particularly enjoyed. one is the "washington post" which described you as the new piers morgan. could you give me your thoughts on that? >> that was always my intention to become the new piers morgan. >> secondly and perhaps more amusingly, i have a statement from tim winter, president of the parent television council, who has reacted as follows. i think you'll find it quite entertaining. in act of desperation for a flailing network, nbc has hired howard stern, a performer synonymous with shock, profanity and obscenity as a judge on a prime time talent competition. in just over three weeks the network will be standing before the united states supreme court arguing for the right to use the "f" word at any time of f the day, even in front of children. the once proud broadcast network has lost its way and made it clear it holds no concern whatsoever for children and families. it also risks losing millions in advertising dollars. whatever principles nbc had in the past while the network was successful have clearly gone out the window. howard, it doesn't get better than that, does it? >> first of all, your read was impeccable. i don't know why you're not doing the news. someone just sent me one. one of my guys sent me an article. because the articles are coming out fast and furiously. one says nbc pins hopes on rich pervert. i like that one. i think part of my fascination in taking this job at america's got talent was the idea of seeing my face on network television prime time. it became fascinating to me. i certainly had kind of decided about two years ago to slow down my workload. and then all of the sudden this opportunity came up with you leaving america's got talent. and when they flew in and approached me about it, and i was very honored because as you know, they agreed to move the show to new york. it's the only way i could have done it. so i felt very honored, and certainly flattered. i was anticipating all this because especially the article you read from these guys that, you know, what is it, the parent -- >> the parent television council. >> these are the same guys who disappeared when i went off the radio. their entire sort of being -- the reason their in existence is to get me off the air. then i went to satellite, and i think their fund raising went down. i came to love this organization with their 1800 twitter followers. it's pretty much nonexistent. networks shudder for people like this. they get their printer out. they make a letter head and start to complain that i'm some sort of weird pervert that's going to convert america into some sort of zombie sex fiends. i can assure what and the rest of america what i'm looking for here is to be a very good judge. you know i watched the show. >> yeah, i know. you're a big fan. >> i love this type of television. and the idea that they're coming to me i think because i had a rather long and lustrous radio career. i've had films. i've had books. i've had music sound tracks. and i think they became sort of en enamored with the idea of me becoming the judge because they knew i was honest. whatever you think of me, i'm honest and i'll give you an honest opinion. and really my goal is to find real talent and to actually find someone who can become a major superstar. >> i've read, howard, that you intend to -- when you see a young contestant appearing on stage, you're going to hold out their mothers and harangue them before their child performs. you then rip this child's performance to pieces, it's not your fault. >> well, yeah. if you're going to put your children on television to be judged, which by the way, i don't know if i would do that with my children. i raised three daughters and i don't know that that would be appropriate. but there are parents out there who think it's a good idea. and you got to be damn sure that this is a wise decision before you do it, because not only are you putting a kid out there, to be judged, but, you know, the kids really have talent. you do need time to nurture that talent, develop that talent. if you took john lennon himself, who was one of the greatest talents of all time and put him out there when he was 7 years old, you'll have him disappointed. what was so beautiful about john lennon. he spent years in germany in small clubs perfecting his talent. so you wouldn't have had john lennon. kid out there who was rather confused and not understanding why people are booing him, like so many times you had to do. i don't think it would be easy. i don't think this is an easy job at all. but i refuse -- >> i don't think working with howie mandell and sharon osbourne is an easy job. i can tell you. >> i feel your pain. i've said to howie and i said to sharon, the shenanigans are going to stop. there were many times just between piers you guys would take someone -- like remember the guy with the furry costumes and you said it's ridiculous. i happened to agree with you. i think they took him through just to tweak you. >> i'm thinking, howard, if they carry on their ludicrous past time of putting through these terrible acts what we should really angle for is next season, the one after this, it just be me and you sitting on there. >> let me tell you something, i would approve of that. i love them. they're great people. i've known sharon for years and i've known howie for years. i look forward to working with them. maybe i'm working for them. i'm not sure. i think i'm working for simon cowell. >> what are you going to do about that by the way? >> i'll put them on notice. if they love the show, and it's a pretty good job. if you love the show, for god sakes, treat it as if it's real. don't put through acts that don't deserve it. there are plenty of people who have talent and they're dying for a break. let's not abuse the privilege. >> and what are you going to do about simon cowell, because technically, howard, he's your boss now. it's your show. >> there's nothing to do about simon. i'm a fan of simon's. i happen to believe simon is a really strong judge. i also think l.a. reid is a strong judge. i think nicole is out of her mind. how do you judge by not giving their opinion? everyone can't be great. is that right, piers? >> completely. you have to be honest. people say to me, what's their talent. all right, you're a good deejay but what else do you do, and the reality is you don't have to go to the sun to know it's hot, right? >> that's right. my criteria will be is this somebody i would really pay money to see? would i sit there and watch this person in vegas sf i'm at the blackjack table, i'm having a party, i'm drinking. i'm having fun and someone says to me let's go see so and so, they better be really good. and so, you know, i'm looking forward to this, and it really seems like a new challenge and a lot of fun. but at the same point -- >> i love the line you used, howard. i loved the line that you used you're going to be piers on steroids. would you like to clarify that? >> yea, it goes back to what i was saying before. i think sometimes howie and sharon pick someone to annoy you. and i think they know i have a tremendous amount of power. my radio show is very powerful. i don't think they're going to be up to any shenanigans. they're going to fall right in line. why you yielded a lot of power, i'm going to be on steroids. there's going to be no shenanigans. >> i can't think of anybody better, literally on planet ertd, to patch the torch onto. i think you're going to by hilarious, dangerous, sharp, funny, all the things my critics would say i never was. i wish you all the very best. it will be a riot with you in there. >> do you have any advice for me? >> yes, i would avoid howi howie mandell like the plague. >> do you really not like howie? because i think he's one of the greatest. >> i like howie in small doses. about three seconds a week. >> well, all right. i'm not going to avoid howie. i'm going head first in this thing. ly be calling you from time to time privately for your opinion on things. >> i was thinking about this. i think you should call during the show anyway. just ring me up on air and give me updates on how it's all going. i'll give you my honest, candid advice. >> i think if i feel like i'm getting beaten up by howie and sharon, i'll call you up. i'm really looking forward to it, and it should be a lot of fun. s i'm said, i'm very honored and flattered. it seems like a new challenge. we'll see what happens. i think it's going to be an interesting ride. >> i think it will be a fantastic success. thanks for coming on. i hope we can sit down face-to-face. >> who are you interviewing next? who is on next? >> i'm interviewing claire danes from "homeland "who i think is is one of the great acting talents in america right now. >> all right. tell claire i am a judge. and her next movie i will be judging, and by the way, not that i'm judge my opinion really counts. >> by the way, howard, no that i've retired as a judge is when you start judging yourself, i may have to judge your judging performances on my show. >> feel free. let me have it. i think i won't disappoint you. i don't know what these people think i'm going to do that are complaining. what do they think i'm going to do that is so bizarre. >> i heard you intend on having a bowl of sulfuric acid and you're going to lower young children under the age of 10 into the acid if they miss a note. >> that would be a real show. that would be good. people actually dying when i tell them they're no good. >> like all the things you dorks it will be unpredictable and brilliant to watch. good luck with it. >> thank you, bye-bye. >> take care. >> when we come back, a man who spoke his mine and was forced out of the obama administration, pj crowley on wikileaks, and a man never afraid to speak his mind, the king of the rant, the ever angry lewis black. my doctor told me calcium is best absorbed in small continuous amounts. only one calcium supplement does that in one daily dose. citracal slow release... continuously releases calcium plus d for the efficient absorption my body needs. citracal. your effort to make this day a reality is nothing short of miraculous. this was one of the most complex logistical undertakings in u.s. history. >> that was the american flag being taking down in baghdad. the symbolic end after the war in iraq. close to 4,500 american deaths. here to talk about all this is p pj crowley. what are your thoughts as the iraq war ends? >> well, it was an extraordinary effort, piers, and perhaps at one level it was nine years. at another level it was 20 years. i participated in the first gulf war in 1990-1991. and to some extent the war never ended. certainly the major accomplishment is the introduction of democracy to iraq. the demise of saddam hussein. but as you just said, it came at a tremendous cost. >> when you look at what happened in libya, for example, and the way that campaign rolled out with the elimination of gadhafi, zero loss to american military life, i mean a lot of people are looking at the cost of the iraq war, both in human toll and in financial toll. and saying surely there had to be a better way to get rid of saddam hussein than that. >> and there could have been a different way. i think, you know, refocusing on saddam hussein after 9/11 was a perfectly appropriate thing to do. i think if i -- if i criticized the bush administration it was to be in such a hurry. that sense of urgency that it read into the prospect that saddam may pass nuclear know-how. certainly iraq is much better off without saddam hussein, no question about that. when you put together not only the direct cost, the indirect cost in terms of u.s. standing around the world, obviously this is something that we have endured and succeeded, but at a cost that can't really be replicated. >> and in the end, i mean the reason that was put forward for the war in iraq globally from everyone involved is saddam hussein was armed to the teeth with weapons of mass destruction. they never turned up. we have to assume now he didn't have any. does that make the war in your view potentially an illegal conflict? >> that's a very good question. i mean, certainly, that's the difference between the first gulf war where there was a un security council resolution. the second gulf war that was not seen as being legitimate. nonetheless, i also participated in the kosovo conflict, which on one hand did not have a security council resolution. it was brought in and seen as legitimate because of nato's involvement. so i think there was some political mistakes along the way, but in one sense we'll have to wait and see, perhaps ten years, you know, on the one hand, democracy in iraq is a good thing. on the other hand iraq was a counterway to iran. we now see a surge in iran in the region. ultimately you go to war to achieve broader political objectives. we simply do not know at this point whether ten years for now the region will be more stable because of this action, but, my focus is on, yes we accomplished a significant amount, but it came at an unexpected, tremendous cost. >> let us turn quickly to bradley manning. he basically cost you your job. you defended him by by basically saying that america was treating him bad di despite his alleged crimes. he has his day in court tomorrow. what are your feelings about that? >> you know, eight months ago i thought that bradley manning's treatment was a distraction and was actually undercutting the unnecessary prosecution. tomorrow he will have what's called an article 32 hearing, a process by which there's an evaluation of the evidence and determination on whether there's enough evidence to proceed to trial. hopefully tomorrow the proceeding will be about what bradley manning is alleged to have done, and not about what the united states government has done to him. >> pj crowley, thank you very much. >> all right, piers. >> i want to turn to a man you could call a comic on the verge of a nervous breakdown. lewis black is known for his rants on politics, and religious trends. he's constantly furious. lewis black is back with me now for the second time. i'm looking at you, lewis. you look angrier than last time. >> i'm actually very happy because you're not here, and i'm in the studio, and i just have to tell you i've started twittering and there will be an occupy piers morgan studio, and hundreds will be joining me shortly. i'm really comfortable in this seat. i'm really enjoying myself. >> lewis, you've done three tours of iraq. what is your sense about this? now we look back on this decade long war. was it a valid war? what do you think the troops felt out there? do you think the weapons of mass destruction didn't actually exist? that it was a legitimate conflict? >> what was really extraordinary about the three tours is probably one of the most, really probably -- i was profoundly, you know, changed by it. i -- you would expect, you know, the way that we feel that, you know, well, look at this. you know, they've been dropped there. they've got to deal with all of this stuff you know, the reason we're there ill legitimate. but what was extraordinary is they felt that they were there. there was a duty. they had a focus that you and i would never come close to. they maintained their eye on what needed to be done. what's truly unbelievable and the story that i don't think has been told properly is that these -- these -- these troops really were kind of dropped there without any instruction, we only had a few people who spoke arabic. there were 30 in the embassy, for crying out loud. they're dropped there without any map, and they had to spend the time really figuring out how to do the restructuring of that country. and it took them a while, and rightfully so, because they've got -- you know, they're troops. this is not what they were sent for. and so when i was there to watch what they had done, it was unbelievable to me. >> it certainly is. let's take a little break, lewis. come back and talk about the gop, the republican race. from a comedic point of view, the elimination of herman cain must have come as a massive disapointment to you. >> it hurt here. >> is there anything you would like to tell the troops is if the american people at this point could exhibit one-third of the sacrifice that our troops do, we would be so far ahead as a country it would be astonishing. tank top v neck 3 piece suit dance wear bolo snakeskin boots sequin costume under things stiletto heels skinny jeans houndstooth snuggie pork pie hat oshkosh socks 5% cash back. right now get 5% cash back at department stores. but my nose is still runny. 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[ male announcer ] yes, it is. that's the cold truth! donald trump came out at a birther, which is republican for i'm running for president. and i for onen couldn't be more on board. trump 2012! you're fired, america! >> that was, of course, my guest lewis black for his segment "back in black" on the daily show. it is disappointing if donald trump doesn't really run that we could miss out on president trump, isn't it? >> i think that we have to as a people reclaim a certain kind of rationality when it comes to candidates. i realize as a comic, he is truly a spectacular candidate. but it works really best on a fictional level. if we can imagine donald trump. because this is not someone who should be -- i don't know why initially when he said he was running that someone, an adult, which we don't seem to have this in this country could go up to him and just go no. no, you can't run. i know it says anyone can run. but you can't. >> what about herman cain, lewis. from a comedic point of view, he was gold dust. >> he's stellar. and once again, someone who gave us that 9-9-9 dollar foot long as a slogan. but here again we've got a guy, and it makes you wonder where we're at where someone who is truly has no credentials, none, none! to be president of the united states. to get a run that was that long because, boy we love the way he just, you know, he shoots his mouth off. well, in the bay sois of that, go to the deli counter of any place in new york city and grab a guy behind the deli. what i found truly stunning is that all of those debates, pierce. all of the stuff that went on, people are questioning him. no one goes maybe you shouldn't be running. you're probably too imp competent to be the president of the united states. what kicks him out of the race is he's sexually harassing women. which isn't a good thing, not on any level. but it's the only time