of the household staff. >> he went on to say -- >> later, this statement from his wife -- >> there are additional details tonight. "the new york times" reporting tonight the child is a boy. he's now 14 and his mother, again, according to "the times," was pregnant with him at the tame seem maria shriver was pregnant with their youngest child. the boy was an occasional presence at the schwarzenegger home and there was rumors about schwarzenegger for years, stories of infidelity during his first campaign for governor he was accused of groping women. this is how he responded back then. >> i always say that wherever there's smoke, there's fire. that is true. and i want to say to you, yes, i have behaved badly sometimes. >> well, two days after he made that statement, maria shriver launched a public campaign supporting her husband in the campaign. >> so in the end, in these final 48, 72 hours, you can make a decision. you can listen to all the negativity and you can listen to people who have never met arnold or who met him for five seconds 30 years ago or you can listen to me. >> well, that was in october nearly eight years ago. what she apparently did not know then, and that we just learned today is that the child her husband fathered would have already been a toddler at the time or older if "the new york times" version is correct. two years before that, schwarzenegger was railing against single parenthood saying, i think the situation with single parenting is disastrous. he was talking mainly but not exclusively about poor inner city parents and kids. we'll talk about that tonight as well as why women stick with men despite warning signs. first, how we got here, what we know. in the state of california, in this morning's los angeles times, schwarzenegger fathered a child with household staff. the woman who had the affair and the child with schwarzenegger had worked for his family for about a decade at the time of the affair and only recently retired. a source told cnn that schwarzenegger financially supported the child since birth. when "the l.a. times" began asking questions, the mother said that another man, her husband at the time, was the father. she also said she was leaving her long-time job with the family because "i wanted to achieve my 20 years and i asked to retire." the staffer's cover story about the father fell awart when schwarzenegger paternity. the woman has had no further comment. allegations of affairs occasionally surfaced throughout his eight years in office, but none seem to threaten his marriage with maria shriver. schwarzenegger told his wife about the child after leaving office in january and since then they have effectively lived separate lives, according to "the l.a. times." he's been trying to revive his film career. interested in making sequeling to "the terminator" and he's globe trotted to benghazi with james cameron, to france, and to washington to participate in the conference on immigration with president obama. trips he took all reportedly without his wife. three weeks ago, the couple marked a milestone. 25 years of marriage. normally a call for celebration. but then last monday, they announced they were akicably separating. they released a statement that read in part -- this has been a time of great personal and professional transition for each of us. at this time, we're living apart while we work on the future of our relationship. a day after that announcement on tuesday, schwarzenegger seemed to suggest they were trying to work through issues. >> we both love each other very much. we have four extraordinary children and we're taking one day at a time. >> "the l.a. times" reports shriver was less optimistic. she had been unhappy in the marriage for years and was waiting for her husband's term to end before splitting. today's bombshell has only deepened the divide between the couple. shriver called the latest news heartbreaking and the couple's children also are speaking out on twitter. out of all the doubts and questions schwarzenegger's family must have had, one of the biggest is on the mind of a nation, how could he keep this secret for so long? joining us now is former l.a. times writer joe matthews, author of "the people's ma scene, arnold schwarzenegger and the rise of the blockbuster democracy." also joining us, jessica yellin and candy crowley. jessica, obviously long standing rumors of womanizing are one thing. a secret out of wedlock child is something else entirely. how big a surprise was this revelation? >> reporter: i've spoke on the a lot of insiders today who, to a person say, not that surprised. i'm sort of shocked by that. they say the fact that it was a housekeeper and the fact that there's a child is startling, but it was a general understanding he had a problem with womanizing and that it was sort of baked into his image and what people know about him, especially in his community in l.a. there are even people saying this is not going to hurt his movie career. men behaving badly seem to do okay. it will hurt any political aspirations. but he left office with an approval rating in the mid 20s. >> joe, you covered schwarzenegger for a long time. does it surprise you, and how did he manage to keep this underwraps so long? >> you had a situation where the woman was married at the time. he was married. both had a reason not to tell anyone. i don't think it's terribly surprising this was a secret for a long time. politicians, while we reporters love to think that we know all, we don't. we often know very little. and this was the case here. i think in this particular case, i was surprised by the announcement of a separation. these are two people who are very invested in this marriage. not just for all the personal reasons but because the narrative of the marriage, this marriage between two very different people who despite their problems and differences, managed to make it work. so they have a lot of reasons not to get divorced, not to split. but the news that he was involved with a woman who was not his wife was not surprising. this is not someone who has run as a public moralist or promised in politics to be faithful to his wife or was faithful in the past or would be in the future. this was not a bill clinton who wagged his finger. this is someone whose public and political persona was someone who was a little bit naughty. even in that 2003 campaign, you know, we saw that. >> right. candy, you were there. you covered the campaign at the time of those multiple groping allegations. a, does this surprise you? and does it surprise you that it was kept secret for so long time? >> reporter: well, it doesn't, for reasons just talked about. if you have people vested in keeping quiet, then they keep it quiet. so if you have a woman married to someone else, who is having his baby, she apparently was getting child support all of this time, perhaps there was an accountant involved somewhere along the line. but he also has a vested interest in staying quiet. there's a difference between the aggrieved women that "the l.a. times" reported in great deal, like five, six days, less than a week before the recall vote in california. and he had started a huge tour that day that we were on with lots of hollywood and stopping in several cities. and this story just came up that morning on the front page of "the times," and there was a story after that, as well. like 20 women or something and it was disgusting behavior. and he said no, he didn't do it. then he said, well, you know, it's hollywood and it's gyms and so i apologize to people who were offended. but the difference between those women and the mother of this child is that they were aggrieved and angry, and she obviously didn't even want to talk as late as yesterday. so, you know, again, it's not surprising. people don't want to talk, it's hard to find out. >> do we know how maria shriver is doing? >> reporter: i've been in touch with somebody who is close to her who said this is not adrift. leaving him was an act of an employered woman who knows what she wanted. and the bottom line there is look, this woman didn't stand by her man, but as a caveat, once this latest revelation happened and only after he left the governor's office. you know, there's been a lot of talk about her lately, because once she announced the split, there was a youtube video that came up where she talked about transition and the people close to her say, this is who she is, she's planning to pursue a journalism activism career, where she opens up and talks about raw emotions like this and this is what we should expect from her. there is a degree of shock that the topic is now maria shriver. so less than 24 hours after we find out about this shocking behavior by arnold schwarzenegger, there's so much focus on when did his wife know, rather than saying what he did was disgusting. he is to blame. >> joe, the vice chairman of the california democratic party is calling for an investigation into whether or not schwarzenegger used money from the campaign to silence women is. there something there? >> there's no particular reason to believe it, and this is a state with not a lot of money and has some pretty serious problems, probably doesn't want to spend a lot of time investigating what a former governor may or may not have done. there have been -- schwarzenegger is one of these people who is always attracted all kinds of stories and rumors. covering him was frustrating, because you would get two calls in an hour. one telling you about the strange things someone had seen him do in washington, d.c. and the next about the strange things someone seen him do across the street in sacramento. he couldn't have been in both places at the same time. so sort of a chase for all the familiars of this is unlikely, you know, unlikely to happen and and also, we know -- >> do we know how the story came out now. the woman involved didn't have a reason to bring it up and as latest yesterday i guess was telling one story to "the l.a. times," do we know how it got revealed? >> i don't know. >> okay. jessica, do you know? >> reporter: well, the read i'm getting is that they had a tip. "the times" knew something and was pushing it and schwarzenegger came out with a statement of his own. while the housekeeper didn't want to speak, schwarzenegger came clean and that opened this all up. >> jessica, candy, appreciate your time. joe, thank you. let us know what you think on facebook or twitter @ anderson cooper. up next, politics, power and fame, why so often it's lijed to infidelity. dr. drew weighs in. does the power lead to this behavior or something else? is the drive that propels some men to seek fame and power, does that lead them to cheat? we'll talk to him. later, breaking news. the man own the right now believed to be bin laden's successor. we'll tell you who he is and whether the new acting boss could be as dangerous or more dangerous as the old one. first, let's check in with isha sesay. what are you following? >> late word today from the battle in libya. an update for the fighting in misurata. what rebels are up against and reports of an attack on a nato warship. that and more ahead on "360." th. her morning begins with arthritis pain. that's a coffee and two pills. the afternoon tour begins with more pain and more pills. the evening guests arrive. back to sore knees. back to more pills. the day is done but hang on... her doctor recommended aleve. just 2 pills can keep arthritis pain away all day with fewer pills than tylenol. this is lara who chose 2 aleve and fewer pills for a day free of pain. and get the all day pain relief of aleve in liquid gels. time is running out to be one of the 10 people to win the chevrolet, buick, gmc or cadillac of your choice. just push your blue button and tell the advisor you want to enter to win a car. ♪ you don't even have to be an active subscriber. so push it now. before all 10 cars are gone. no purchase necessary. see rules at onstar.com to enter without a blue onstar button. sweepstakes ends may 31st. down the hill? man: all right. we were actually thinking, maybe... we're going to hike up here, so we'll catch up with you guys. [ indistinct talking and laughter ] whew! i think it's worth it. working with a partner you can trust is always a good decision. massmutual. let our financial professionals help you reach your goals. personal pricing now on brakes. tell us what you want to pay. we do our best to make that work. deal! my money. my choice. my meineke. breaking news tonight. new details that arnold schwarzenegger fathered a child out of wedlock. "the new york times" reporting tonight the boy is is about 14-year-old. we've seen a lot of politicians caught cheating and lying about it, but arnold schwarzenegger's deception of his own family over the course of many years is pretty surprising. dr. drew pensky believes it's not the power and fame that leads men to cheat but the thing that drives some men to become famous or powerful is an impulse which also drives them to cheat sometimes. we'll explain that in a minute. but first, tom foreman and some of the other politicians we've seen who have done this, as well. >> reporter: even in the midst of this sex scandal, the former california governor has plenty of company. >> i did not have sexual relations with that woman. >> reporter: ever since president clinton was caught fooling around, cameras everywhere, and the public appetite for dirt have outed dozens of public figures for indiscretions. among republicans, such scandals have had particular impact. now presidential contender newt gingrich led the charge against clinton, but twice had affairs of his own. senators david vitter and then senator john ensign likewise have defended viv family values but he was linked to prostitutes. and when the governor of south carolina, mark sanford, was found with his mistress, not on the appalachian trail -- >> i've been unfaithful to my wife. >> i frankly didn't know where he was. >> reporter: and it's not as if republicans have cornered the market on indiscretion. >> because i did not want the public to know what i had done. very simple. >> reporter: john edwards talked to "nightline" about his affair with rielle hunter. she claimed they had a love child, something he at first denied. >> you flat out denied having a relationship with rielle hunter. did you give me a truthful answer then? >> yes. >> reporter: he later came clean and his wife, elizabeth, now deceased, left him and took their kids with her. eliot spitzer paid for escorts. former new jersey governor jim mcgreevey cheated with another man. but it's not just politics. in sports, brett favre and ben ross less berger were accused of but never charged with misconduct. tiger woods went into the rough over extramarital playing partners. >> i was unfaithful. i had affairs. >> reporter: and in entertainment, scandals have enveloped david letterman, george michael, and jesse james just to name a few. so schwarzenegger can take consolation knowing he's not alone. but then when you think about it, that was the whole problem. tom foreman, cnn, washington. >> that's the what. for a closer look at the why, i spoke with dr. drew pensky. dr. drew, i've read some psychologists who say men with great power and status are more prone to affairs than the average person. is that really true? >> i think it probably is true, anderson, but it doesn't mean it's okay, and it doesn't mean the high profile or power status necessarily causes this. in fact, the research that i've done on celebrities and people in positions of power show something quite different. what it shows is the kind of person that strives to get themselves in those positions may have certain character liabilities that make them the kind of person prone to these transgressions. >> what's the correlation, the drive to achieve something and the impulse or whatever to cheat or to do stuff that's high risk? >> it's a topic we have talked about over the years, it's narcissism. if need to get pumped up from the environment to feel okay about yourself, so you have to keep getting positions of power to feel okay when you don't feel so good on the inside and narcissism has this liability of failure, which is people with narcissism don't perceive the consequences of their actions. particularly in those moment where is they have a powerful impulse, it's hard to predict the effects it's going to have on other people. >> that drive can apply to everybody who has a tv show. not everybody on tv acts out in this way, though. >> that's absolutely correct. the difference is that liability. my point is, and the part i find most disturbing is the public will rather be dismissive and say oh, guess what, somebody in a position of authority, some male who makes a lot of money is sacramentoing out sexually. yeah, we get that. but does it make it okay? it is not okay for many reasons. it says something deep about their personality functioning and value system. people they love are shattered by this, and we've heard so much of this these days. it's almost becoming normal and that background noise effects our kids. this is the warning i want to keep putting out. they need to discuss this with their children, this behavior is not okay. if they want to behave like this, they shouldn't take a vow and they should do all this before they get married or not get married. >> what i don't understand, though, i understand a famous person doing this, look, the behavior of somebody like charlie sheen. but somebody who is running for office, whose entire livelihood depends on being seen as being honest and making promises with the voters, to do this while you're running for office, we've seen it with john edwards, when eliot spitzer was governor, he had the problem that he had. why would somebody in political life, of all places, when you're under that microscope, do this? >> it boggles the mind, doesn't it, anderson? i would have two answers. one, is sometimes it's sexual addiction. just like with any other addiction, they're in denial, they don't really perceive the consequences of their actions. but more often than not, it is a sense of entitlement, of being special, of sort of being entitled to this sort of thing and some of the reasons they're in the position they're in makes them feel entitled. the fact is, they're just not. for those of us not to dismiss it, further enhances their sense of entitlement. >> is there a sense of -- does the danger of it, does the forbiddenness of it add to the appeal of it or the attraction of it for some of these people? >> for some of my patients, it is the intensity. with sex and love addicts, if you remember the south carolina governor that had the woman down in south america, that was classic love addiction. it's the intensity of the experience more off than not. >> you call it love addiction. isn't that just being in love? >> no, this is -- think about how wild that was. he never met her before, he developed this fantasy about who they were together. if you read about love addiction, that's a classic case. >> we got a question from a viewer in michigan. why do smart, successful women put up with it? which is obviously a good point. >> the fact is, when i was talking about it on my show today, the women that put it with up who was the spouse that got cheated upon and how about the women who do the cheating. we need to hold them accountable, as well. they often play a strong role in this dance we call infidelity. but the women that stand by the men, we should not be critical of them. in my word, i deal with quite a bit with sexual addiction. a significant majority of the partners with the sex addict will stay with that person and in treatment. that relationship can be restored. the situation with the schwarzeneggers, i would wish and hope they would stay together and get treatment