>> legacies they leave behind. >> he really wanted to be instrumental in helping people's lives become better. >> tonight, we remember lives well lived. one year ago, a cruel and mysterious threat arrived on our soil. in the beginning, it was unclear how long covid would be here and how many people it would steal from us. but in the weeks and months that followed, covid moved ruthlessly through our biggest cities and eventually invaded even our smallest towns, leaving no part of our country untouched. covid took from us americans of every age, gender and race. ultimately, it would exact a far greater toll on communities of color, but no group of americans has been spared. hi, everyone. i'm nicole wallace. over the past year we've been honored to share with you the stories of some of those we've lost and tell you about their lives, lives well lived. their stories were all so beautifully unique, but they were united by two undeniable truths. they all ended too soon, and they each left behind an entire family or community for mom life would never be the same. for so many, the loss is exacerbated by how our loved ones died. in many cases, alone, or in the company of a devoted but exhausted nurse or doctor. many families have had to say good-bye forever on an ipad or cell phone. the past year has been nothing short of a sweeping and historic american tragedy. so, in a humble effort to honor those losses, tonight we celebrate the lives of those we have lost and the families left behind. nbc's chris dancing who shared the loss of her own brave aunt margie to covid starts us off. >> have a very, very great friday. >> she would laugh if you called her a model, but here she is at christmas modeling her own hand-made christmas mask. a simple mission to protect others. but in the end, bonnie could not protect herself. >> i don't know that i've ever met anybody who didn't love bonnie. she's just that kind of person. somebody else felt it was time for her. one thing that is bittersweet is i got my vaccination on sunday, and bonnie should have been there with me. that was the hardest part. because she was this close. five weeks away from getting vaccinated. >> it's the devastating reality of covid-19. the funerals never held, the good-byes never said. the human touch never felt, as victims passed from this world. including susan braley, mother to seven adopted children, 300 foster kids. her florida home filled with love and love ter and life. but in death without any of that family by her side. kalen dillard never got to hold her newborn baby morgan dying of covid shortly after birth. by late march, 1,000 americans would be gone. by may, 100,000, many of them health care workers, especially nurses and people of color. frida oakrent, a psychiatric nurse and mother of three was 51. dr. neera worked in a pediatric clinic and was a month away from getting vaccinated. another doctor just starting out at 28. >> she was just a really happy-go-lucky person. >> er dr. frank died after texting worries about lack of ppe. 250,000 americans gone by november. including veterans who had survived foreign wars, only to lose to this unseen enemy, like tuskegee airman theodore ted lumkin who stayed active until coronavirus hit and died short of his 100th birthday. a rabbi, who was a holocaust survivor who saved 56 lives but coronavirus took him at 91. to endure such grief, perhaps we rationalize. but they were old. but they had preexisting conditions. in truth, but for covid, they'd likely still be with us. to teach. to rescue dogs. simply to love. dick and shirley of ohio had just celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary when they died minutes apart. margaret and jimmy shaw grew up together in georgia, eloped at 17 and stayed together for six decades. music lovers, johnny lee and kathy darlene peeples of north carolina together since teenagers died in the same day, in the same icu room holding hands. and so much promise cut short. >> i know he's probably dancing in heaven. >> towering baritone, antwon hodge, achieving a career milestone on the metropolitan opera stage. in february, his extraordinary voice was silenced. >> it's hard for me to accept the reality that he won't be back. >> antwon was just 38. we've learned the hard way that covid doesn't spare the young or very young. skylar herbert was the only child of two first responders. >> we miss everything about her. >> jj boatman was running around playing one morning. by the next morning he was gone. another was about to start fourth grade, and 13 year old peyton from missouri. his mom's little buddy. >> he was kind, he was funny, he was a jokester. >> how do you begin to process this kind of loss? another 13 year old, named madeline fugate started a memorial quilt. one scare made with a piece of anna carter's dress, who was 13, too, when she was taken by covid. in california, carla fun der burk began folding cranes, thousands suspended on wire. >> it is the symbol of carrying the soul into the heavens. they're flying together. so they are not alone, and we are not alone. >> and in a community garden in phoenix out of all this death comes life in the form of newly-planted trees, providing a place to mourn, to contemplate and, yes, celebrate lives well lived. like these. >> may all your dreams come true and you live happily ever after. >> bonnie mccloud leaves five adoring grandchildren. to honor her memory, 16-year-old ali is still making masks, just like her nana taught her. >> what do you miss about her most? >> our hugs and just time together. whenever we would hang out, it would just be our time. i look back now, and i think of everything that we got to do in the last months. and because of the masks, we were together, when i would have been so busy doing other things. instead, we got to be here with each other. >> a shared legacy, woven of cloth and thread and love. >> those masks are such a beautiful way for ali to remember her grandmother. and these cranes, harley started making them, but then she got thousands of them from a teacher in north dakota, senior citizens in ohio, buddhist amongsts monks in tibet. it's a reminder of the enormity of what we've lost but also of people's desire to come together to deal with that stagsers loss. if there was one crane for every american who died of covid, it would fill this space 42 times, and we don't have a handbook for how to deal with the enormity of that. so, whether it's making a crane or making a mask or planting a tree or just telling a story, it's important, nicole, a way for people to move forward. a way for them to have hope and to feel that they're not alon. >> bless you, that was incredible. thank you so much for being a part of this with me. i'm grateful. >> thank you. >> this past year we've learned a lot about the power of human connection. both the isolation when we're forced to go without it and the importance of reestablishing connections through whatever means possible when we're hurting. one of the worst experiences of the last year has been endured by those who have experienced the loss of a loved one and have had to grieve in the time of lockdowns. martin addison was living his dream of being a loving dad to 2-year-old daughter and 6 month old son when he lost his bale with covid in april. his wife remembers their competitions, all the little things he did to make her and them feel special. inspired by a sympathy card she received from another mom, pamela decided to create a facebook support group. young widows and widowers of covid-19. now about 450 strong. if offers healing, a place for grief and remembrance and the comfort that someone is always there. pamela's efforts touched laura gara, when it was her time to grieve. laura said she felt instant loneliness when her husband rodrigo died from covid on christmas eve at 33 years old. their daughter had just turned 1 days before. the group has given laura support and advice. they checked up on her frequently and helped her realize that it's okay sometimes to not be okay. pamela addison and laura gara join us now. pamela, tell me about before the loss. tell me about your husband as a father and husband. >> he was just so full of life and had such a presence to him that i just truly miss, like you saw in that video him rocking his two kids. that was his row, row, row your boat, and he just loved doing that, and the laughter that he elicited from my daughter is just, you know, it's empty now, because he doesn't do that anymore, and just seeing that smile on his face that lit up his eyes, because he was just living his dream. he just loved being a daddy. he loved being a husband. he would just do anything and everything for all of us. and i just totally miss that. he just brought laughter and fun into our lives. and it definitely is missing in our life now. >> how are you? >> i mean, i still have my good and bad days. it's, it's quite the loss. i never expected to be a widow at 36. and just going through, trying to figure out life and the new me, because it definitely has changed my life drastically. so i feel like i have my good days and my bad days, and creating this group definitely has given me a lot of joy and hope, because i know i'm helping others go through and get through this. >> so where did you find that in your darkest time to dig down and create something to help others? where does that come from? >> i was doing a lot of writing, and one of my pieces got published on new jersey.com. and i decided i would share it with other people, because i wanted my story to be told, because i wasn't hearing a lot about younger people dying, and because my husband was young i thought, you know what? i want to share my story. and once i posted it onto several different covid groups on facebook i couldn't believe how many comments i got that said, oh, my goodness, that was my story. i thought i was alone. so a week after i did that, i decided i would start this group, because i did not think it was okay for someone to feel alone like that. >> and laura, that spoke to you, and your husband rego is, was young, too. tell us about him. >> he was my gentle giant. he was a caring and loving man since the day i met him. he just had a great personality and everyone just gravitated to him. he was funny, sarcastic. he loved spending time with his family and friends. i had this large, beautiful smile, and he always made sure to tell everyone how much he loved them at all times. he was just excited to be a father. he had 11 beautiful months with his daughter. he just loved singing to her and making funny noises. >> how's she doing? >> she's a ball of joy. she's so much like him. loving, caring. everyone gravitates towards her. she's just a happy baby right now. >> how are you doing, mama? >> i'm hanging in there. i'm trying every day. >> you both have talked about you were, laura, watching through a window. you, pamela, mouthed "i love you", before your husband got in an ambulance. can i ask you both just to talk about being unable to say good-bye, laura? >> that moment was probably the hardest experience of my life. watching from a window outside of his room. thankfully, i had that opportunity to go to the hospital. but watching and feeling that utter hopelessness and helplessness, i couldn't do anything to save him. the doctors couldn't do anything anymore. and i just remember just tapping and hitting the window, saying "i'm sorry. i'm sorry they couldn't do anything." >> and pamela, this is this dark underbelly of grief, these last moments. you've bravely shared them. it's what unites your group of 450 and growing. but you two had this final moment that you've shared this final moment where you mouthed "i love you." >> yeah, when i was coming down the steps of our house, i was holding our son, and i just mouthed "i love you", not thinking that that was going to be the last time i saw him ever again. but i'm glad i had that moment, because i did see him, but, for 26 days i didn't get to go to the hospital and hold his hand, and that's all i wanted to do. and i feel like that stolen good-bye is going to stick with me for the rest of my life. because i wasn't there for him in his last moments. >> pamela, where in the process and in the sharing of the grief, where can people lift you up? what can people do? people want to help. what can people do? >> i feel like listen to us talk about what we're feeling. i know grief sometimes makes people uncomfortable. but we need someone to listen and be there for us. and i feel like that's the most valuable thing. and not judging our grief and saying oh, i think you should be moving on. but just listening and not being judgmental. >> well, i think, i think any opinions are squarely, of both of you as heroes. and i want to ask you the same question. what part of this, laura, can people on the outside do who can't imagine or fathom your grief? how can people sit with you? what can people do? >> it's a hard thing to answer, because sometimes i just recognize that i have to get through every day and i think the biggest thing people did for me was to help me without asking me can i help you. they just did it. >> yeah. >> and it took a lot out of me to let others in and let others help. and, like pamela mentioned, the listening without judging, listening without making it about you, sometimes, it's been really helpful. it >> i am in awe of you both. i am so sorry for your loss. and i'm so grateful to both of you for letting all of us in. it takes extraordinary courage, and i thank you both for it. thank you so much. >> thank you. >> thank you. >> thank you both so much. we're going to remember all of our stories and everyone that we get to talk to, and i hope it's clear that they take a real leap of faith by spending team with us. we're grateful to all of them. on the other side of the break, we will talk with senator elizabeth warren who will talk about her loss and hope for the future when we come right back future when we come right back this is wealth. ♪ ♪ this is worth. that takes wealth. but this is worth. and that - that's actually worth more than you think. don't open that. wealth is important, and we can help you build it. but it's what you do with it, that makes life worth living. principal. for all it's worth. when our daughter and her kids moved in with us... our bargain detergent couldn't keep up. turns out it's mostly water. so, we switched back to tide. one wash, stains are gone. daughter: slurping don't pay for water. pay for clean. it's got to be tide. not everybody wants the same thing. that's why i go with liberty mutual — they customize my car insurance so i only pay for what i need. 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(laughing) (trumpet playing) someone behind me, come on. pick that up, pick that up, right there, right there. as long as you keep making the internet an amazing place to be, we'll keep bringing you a faster, more secure, and more amazing internet. xfinity. the future of awesome. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ that was 28-year-old demi bannister, a teacher, so full of life whose life was just beginning when covid stole it away in september. we remember dawn reed herring who died last april at the age of 86. he was brave. he served 21 years in the air force, faced covid alone without his family to hold his hand or say "i love you" in person one last time. joining us now don's sister, who happens to be senator elizabeth warren. senator, thank you so much for spending some time with us. i remember reading everything that you tweeted and shared, but i wonder if we could just remember your brother first. what was he like? >> so my first memory of my brother is when i was 3 years old, and he was 19. and we'd driven to oklahoma city, my mother and i had driven him up there, and he was headed off to the air force. >> yeah. >> and he was dashing. he was handsome. and he was ready for an adventure. and he was always somebody who was just kind of out on the front edge. he flew b-52s for 20 years, spent off and on six years in vietnam. he was, he loved to fly, and he loved his family. i didn't have any sisters. i just had the three brothers. and he married when i was, i was about 6 when he married nancy. and she was this, this dark-haired, just, had great petty coats and wonderful shoes, fabulous clothes, and she used to give me things that had been hers that she had worn. they were, they were everything, and he had these two adorable little boys. i spent summers with them at berkshire air force base in austin, texas. i'd take their two little boys, and we'd hang out at the swimming pool all afternoon, while don reed was out flying planes and nancy was keeping everything going at home. they had it all. and then, and then nancy died when, shortly after don reed retired from the air force, and he was with two boys, and then the boys grew up. i lost a lot of his, a lot of his smile then, but he was tough. and eventually, he found a woman who'd been married before as well. and they were nice to each other. they were good to each other. they took care of each other. and judy and don reed were a good pair. mostly what i did, we'd get together when i'd go back do oklahoma city, my brother john and my brother david and my husband sometimes. the three boys would tell stories about what ornery kids they had abeen. we'd laugh and talk about our folks. and was a good man, a good man. we didn't agree on everything. he was a cranky republican. it was true. you, no matter how much we disagreed, we ended every phone conversation with, he'd say "i love you sis." and i'd say "i love you too, brother." and then he got sick. and this was in early 2020. he got pneumonia. and he went to the hospital. judy got him to the hospital. and they wanted to put him in the hospital, and then he started getting better, but he'd been weak because he'd been lying down for a long time. and so the question was, now remember, this is february 2020. we don't know what's around the corner, and he, he was sick, but he was getting much better, and it was time to be discharged from the hospital. and hit doctor said go to a rehab center, just a couple of weeks. get your strength back. go where they'll get you up and exercising more. he wanted to go home. wanted to go home and be with judy, wanted to go home. and i urged him to go to the rehab center. i wanted him to be strong. i didn't want to take a chance that he'd fall and hurt himself. so he went to the rehab center, and he'd done his work, and he's ready to come home. now we're into march and into april, and he's ready. and we had it all set up, going home on a thursday. and my brother david's going to pick him up. we're good. and i talked to him. i'm talking to him pretty much every day, every, every day, twice a day. and so he said, bets, he says they tested me, and they said i tested for covid, but he said i feel fine. this is ridiculous. so i said okay. and he kept saying every day i'd call him. now i was really getting anxious. i'd call him in the morning. i'd call him at night. and every day he'd say nothing. i'm fine. i'm good. and finally, after day after day after day after day of this, it was going good. everything's great. and he said his doctor came by and he said my doctor said i'm too tough. maybe i had it before and maybe that's why i tested positive. he said i might be over this. and then i called one morning and he wasn't there. and it turned out in the night he'd been taken to the hospital. and i never got to talk to him again. and neither did his wife or his two boys. or my brothers. we got all we could through the nurses, and god bless them, but they were stretched to the edges. and so we just get like these, this like a telegram that would just come in, and it'd say he's better. and then they'd say he's worse, he's not going to make it through the night. then they'd say he's better. and then he took a turn for the worst. and they, they called us and told us he was gone. and nobody was with him. not, not any of us. and i, i don't know how he died. i don't know, i don't know if he was cold or if he was thirsty. all i know is i couldn't be there to tell him how much i loved him and neither could the rest of our family. and that's hard. >> president biden has said that there comes a point where these memories make you smile before they make you cry. do you see that moment coming soon for you? >> i do. i had a lot of good years with my brother, and he had a lot of good years. and that's the part. my other brothers, don reed's wife judy and the boys and i, those are the parts we talk about, because that's what it means to keep someone alive. oh, i can't talk to him on the phone. but he'll always be there in my heart. always. >> do you think people appreciate that this still happens every day? that the person that someone loves as much as you obviously love your brother, people are still dying alone every day? >> i think that we just don't realize the magnitude of what has already happened and what is continuing to unfold, yes, i'm optimistic. we have vaccines and we're moving forward. the numbers are doing better, but more than 1800 people died yesterday. >> yesterday. >> one day. that's hundreds of families just like ours who didn't get to hold hands. who didn't get to, didn't get to do one more time of "i love you." >> i asked two women who lost their husbands, and i'll ask you the same thing, and you're known as one of the toughest people in american politics, but there's no toughness that protects you from grief. what can people on the outside do? >> partly, i've heard the two women you talked with earlier. and i think they were exactly right. just listen. hear the stories. we're, we're all having to learn a new way to grieve. i, i would have been there with my brother, but i also would have been there with the rest of my family when we lost my brother. so we've had all those chances to tell those stories and to kind of let it find a place to settle in our hearts. that's, that's part of what covid has stolen from us. and so i think all of us, we need each other more than ever, and that maybe people were not, we're not ordinarily close to, but we need our friends. we need our acquaintances. we need people who say "my heart hurts, too," because, as a people, as a nice, as a giant community we have to find a way to deal with this loss, to settle it in our in our hearts and in our minds and be able to build tomorrow and the next day and the next day. and the only way we're going to do that is together. >> well, i cannot thank you enough for telling us about your brother, for telling us what it's been like. i think you went a long way toward giving a lot of voice to what so many people are going through. so, from the bottom of my heart thank you so much. thank you so much for being part of this. >> thank you, thank you. and thank you for doing this. >> thank you. >> it's a good thing. >> thank you so much. thank you. my goal of trying to get through the hour without crying just about derailed. up next for us, bringing a community together after covid pulled it apart. after covid pulled it apart. >> when i look back at my life, what am i most proud of? wow, that's a hard question. well, i'm most proud that i have three children, and they all have grown to be good people. and, and i think that's what i'm most proud of. hat's what i'm most proud of. it all starts with an invitation... ...to experience lexus. the invitation to lexus sales event. get 0% apr financing on the 2021 nx 300. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. got it? got it. get 0% apr financing on the 2021 nx 300. nooooo... nooooo... quick, the quicker picker 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to help others pursue their passion for the arts and technology. mark hall was a first new orleans police officer to die of covid-19. despite the sudden and tragic loss, his son, mark hall jr. stayed the course and graduated from the police academy just a few weeks after his father's death. and when he was sworn in as an officer for the new orleans pd, he got badge 1786, happened to be the same badge as his dad. and we're remembering larry edgeworth tonight, a member of our family. he was an audio technician who worked for nbc news for more than 25 years, all over the world. sometimes in some of the most dangerous places. larry was known by the people fortunate enough to get to work with him as the one guy who always, always had your back. we're lucky now to be joined by the reverend liz walker of the roxbury presbyterian church in boston. take me to church. what do we do with all this grief? what do we do other than name it and talk about it? >> well, i've got to say, first of all, thank you for having me. and you have had church. that's what this hour really has been, and it has been just really powerful and really important. we have to grieve. you can't just ignore pain. we at roxbury presbyterian church have worked on a trauma program sense 2014, focussed, initially on violence and letting people deal with that, the aftermath of that. and what we've scoffed is, traumatic grief, grief that we are going through right now in this country is, is nothing that's going to be dealt with, with closure. it's not going to just fade away. this kind of grief remains for a long time. and so when you say we just named it, that's exactly the important thing. we name it. you've named people. you've let us hear stories. we have cried with you. we have cried with these people who are grieving. that has to happen. that is what pulls us together in grief, but it also makes us stronger to hear senator warren share her story about her family and her brother, to hear her be so human, and of course we know she is, but to hear her in this vulnerable moment is so important for all of us. and if we don't grieve, i think that we will have hell to pay. and i mean that quite literally. so you are having church this hour. and i am humbled to be a part of your service. >> say more about grief and vulnerability, because it seems like the most vulnerable thing to do is to allow ourselves to grieve. but frankly, in my line of work, the news is so scary, and you want to put your shell up and protect yourself. how do those things co-exist? >> we all want to protect ourselves. of course we do. but the idea of loss, of this deep, deep, deep loss, and this has been just extraordinary this last year. and we haven't, you know, we've been kind of disconnected from it just as we're disconnected from each other. so this extraordinary loss, this wound that is deep down in all our souls, because we, we haven't, we don't know how to get through something like this. just to ignore that and push it down, you think you're doing the right thing. you think you're being strong or getting over it, but what you're really doing is suppressing a wound. and wounds have to have at some point, air and light. and so by talking about it, by crying, but emoting, by wailing, you are, you know, you are dealing with it. you are confronting it. and that is the only way to heal. and i think that this country has not done that. you know. >> hm-mm. >> so 500,000 plus-deaths. 1800 people die, not natural in the sense that we expected it and it was all -- this has been the most traumatic thing i've ever seen in my lifetime. you have to be allowed to say that. to name that. so that's what you're doing, and that's a part of it. but this is not going to be, you know, resolved in one night. it's going to take some time. it's going to take more ritual. it's going to take more sharing of stories. and this is, this is important, what you're doing tonight. >> thank you so much. hearing that from you and i'm just thinking that we finally have a leader who's made these rituals of grieving part of his presidency. we've had two services so far, and that seems like the kind of effort that you're speaking to. giving a voice and giving it a ritual. >> absolutely, and because he's gone through his own personal grief, and he's done that in such a public way, he is just the right man for the right time. of course there's more to being a president than that. but, in this moment, this is what has to happen. and so i, i don't want to keep harping on it, but this, we have to share this pain. it belongs to all of us. and that's what has not been happening, and that's what has to begin now and has to continue. >> if it has to continue, we're going to continue to call on you, reverend liz walker of the roxbury presbyterian church. thank you so much for being a part of this. >> thank you. >> so do you remember, i know in new york i do, when everyone used to stop and cheer for our frontline health care workers. if you lived in new york, like clockwork, it was every night at 7:00. every stopped, rolled down their windows and cheered. when we come back, a tribute to some american heroes. n heroes starting today, nobody has to settle for less than the very best. because only verizon gives you 5g from america's most reliable network at no extra cost. and plans to mix and match, so you only pay for what you need. the plan is so reasonable, they can stay on for the rest of their lives. aww... and on top of that, nobody gives you more entertainment you love like disney+, hulu and espn+ on select unlimited plans. you even get one of our best 5g phones on us when you buy one. and it all starts at just $35. only from verizon. one of the worst things about a cold sore is how it can make you feel. but, when used at the first sign, abreva can get you back to being you in just 2 and a half days. be kinder to yourself and tougher on your cold sores. 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(burke) get a whole lot of something with farmers policy perks. they should really turn this ride off. ♪ we are farmers. bum-pa-dum, bum-bum-bum-bum ♪ (burke vo) start with a quote at 1-800-farmers that's what i want to tell y'all, man. don't let blessing bullies scene you from where you need to go to get done what you need to get done, what you've been given, the assignment you've been given, the opportunities you've been given. don't let anybody make you feel like you have to take down or be less than because they don't have the gifts you have. >> good advice there from pastor fred thomas who had his mentry and a career in comedy. we are thinking about his wife desiree. the battle of the pandemic has fallen hardest on frontline workers, so many of whom are risking their safety and long hours to treat patients. >> it's hard to think that some of your patients that you diagnose today may not be here tomorrow when you come back for your shift. >> just like you, i would much better be at a titans game or getting to see my friends, but i'm not. i'm here instead, and most days holding hands of patients as their love ones say good-bye over the phone. >> speaking for all of us, we're tired. but we get up, and we still do this every day that we're supposed to be here. we come in here. we get our assignments. take a couple breaths. do what we need to do, and we go. we do what we have to. >> carolyn booker has been a nurse for 40 years. she used to think she'd seen it all, but that was before covid. how are you guys doing? >> well, we are doing as everyone. we are trying our best to recover now. >> do you feel like we had enough of a window into the toll that this took on nurses and doctors inside hospitals when these surges really hit? >> i don't think that there is a way to really have that type of a window. as we're talking to the families of patients who die, definitely the people who were there, who were at the bedside, it's taken a tremendous toll on them. >> there has never been such a period where even in the end, when all medical interventions have come up short, the actual moment where a patient dies is one that a nurse has to shepherd that person through to the other side. can you talk about that? >> well, i tell you, in our hospital, we have been blessed with palliative care physicians and nurse-practitioners who havs tremendously. and they also serve to help families and patients, as they make decisions about the end of life. those individuals were instrumental in helping us to ensure that patients and their families knew that we were there for them. >> what is the way that people can sort of pay back what frontline health care workers have given to the whole country this year? >> i would say that if people could just follow the science, follow the science. because it works. those of us that are coming into the hospital on a daily basis, those who are facing, preparing for covid patients, are at highest risk. however, they are in protective equipment, masks, gowns, gloves. outside of the hospital, for people in the community, masking is so important. social distancing is so important. those are the things that they can do to help us help them. >> do you feel that the science is telling a story that the horizon is here, that this is almost over? that with vaccinations, we will return to some notion of precorona norm natural >> i think that it is giving us a window into what can be. we, though, have to continue to be vigilant. we have to continue to be supportive of one another. at our hospital, we have a mantra, team work makes the dream work. and that is so true in the era of covid-19. >> carolyn booker, you are something of a local legend there. we are wishing that we could thank every single person like you in every single hospital in every single city in every single state. we didn't do that. just from all of us who have had the privilege of covering the pandemic of the last year, it's just story after story after story of the super human contributions. so thank you. thank you for spending time with us tonight and thank you for everything you've done. >> thank you for having me. rachel maddow joins after a quick break. but first, saluting our amazing frontline heroes. ♪ over 10 years ago, we made a promise to redefine everything a truck can be. ♪ and while we've made good on that promise by winning back to back to back motor trend truck of the year awards, the work is never done. ♪ mornings were made for better things than rheumatoid arthritis. when considering another treatment, ask about xeljanz... a pill for adults with moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis when methotrexate has not helped enough. xeljanz can help relieve joint pain and swelling, stiffness, and helps stop further joint damage, even without methotrexate. xeljanz can lower your ability to fight infections. before and during treatment, your doctor should check for infections, like tb and do blood tests. tell your doctor if you've had hepatitis b or c, have flu-like symptoms, or are prone to infections. serious, sometimes fatal infections, cancers including lymphoma, and blood clots have happened. taking a higher than recommended dose of xeljanz for ra may increase risk of death. tears in the stomach or intestines and serious allergic reactions have happened. don't let another morning go by without asking your doctor about the pill first prescribed for ra more than seven years ago. xeljanz. ♪ you can go your own way ♪ it's time you make the rules. so join the 2 million people who have switched to xfinity mobile. you can choose from the latest phones or bring your own device and choose the amount of data that's right for you to save even more. and you'll get nationwide 5g at no extra cost. all on the most reliable network. so choose a data option that's right for you. get nationwide 5g included and save up to $300 a year on the network rated #1 in customer satisfaction. it's your wireless. your rules. only with xfinity mobile. the lincoln memorial tonight. back in january, the night before joe biden's inauguration, that was the backdrop for the lives lost in this pandemic. the deaths continue to mount. 130,000 more people have died since that day nearly two months ago. joe biden is sure to stress the importance tomorrow night of remaining vigilant, if not for ourselves, then for the people, for the person you love most in this world. it's message that will sound familiar to viewers of "the rachel maddow show" because we heard it from her when her partner susan became ill. >> what you need to know is whoever is the most important fern in your life, whoever you most love and care for and most cherish in the world, that's the person who you may lose. or you may spend weeks up all night freaking about and calling doctors all over the place and over and of again, trying to figure out how to keep that person breathing and out of the hospital. >> i'm joined now by rachel maddow. rachel, i still play that moment and remember that moment as a reminder to not let down my guard and that's around the time i started learning to mask and feels so grateful that susan was okay and you were okay. how are you guys doing now? >> it's, you know, it is really hard for me to see that even now. i have not gone back and watched that. but first of all, let me say that this has been such a public stress, we do not have the language and the -- we don't have the vocabulary to talk about this level of loss. and you are trying to give us that. and it is so valuable and so powerful and to important. and i don't know how else we could have done it other than by the way you are push thing tonight. this hour is the most important thing we have done on this network in months if not years. so i mean, me, susan, we're fine. we're okay. she's definitely on the other side of this, and i'm so grateful. we all have to use the power that we've got and the platform we have and the trust that people have in us to try to do the most good. you are doing a lot of that right now. so thank you for doing this. >> i made it through 50 minutes without crying. you threatened to derail that. i think when you talk to people who are just known for their toughness, they tell a story that is the universal story of loss. i mean, 520,000 people have families that are exponentially larger than that number of people that have lost their lives. and they all have that story of grief that she told. i mean, there's this universeality of grief and there's so many people grieving, that it's just important to keep them in mind, as we race towards the science. the science is taking us to vaccination school and we're going from arm chair epidemiologists to armchair vaccine experts. so thank you. >> yes. and it's -- to focus on not only the people we have lost, but to acknowledge that it's okay to not let them go. there isn't closure when you have lost somebody. the families are never the same. the grief is never over. and it's not a failure on your part to continue to grieve and to continue to feel overwhelmed by the loss. and that's just -- it's an adult way to approach it, but it's something that we need to face collectively as a country. but we also need to have so much heart and respect for all the families, for the 500,000 plus american families who will never, ever, ever be the same. and it's just -- it's a form of maturity to be real about those permanent losses. >> it is. and it's something we're still learning how to talk about. thank you for letting us duck into your hour and thanks for letting us come into your homes through these challenges times. on "the mehdi hasan show," the "american idol" >> joe biden's chief of staff is here. also, the surge of unaccompanied minors at the border have reached the point that fema is being brought in to help. julian castro joins me. plus it's a bird, it's a plane. no, it's super pharmacist, dr. mac, saving his community one vaccine at a time. he joins me to tell us his inspiring story, coming up.