♪ >> greg: happy thanksgiving, everyone. as usual we've had a great few months of shows mostly due to my endless charm and breath taking good looks. we've also had some amazing guests so tonight let's look back at some of our favorite segments. enjoy. >> greg: happy wednesday, everybody. happy wednesday. or as i like to call it at our house. hump day. my wife makes amazing camel burgers. all right. settle down. >> greg: here's some news that will make you spit your latte over an orca's face. did you know that muscle strong and strapping men are perceived as more conservative than wimpy, scrawny, skinny dudes? >> yep. >> greg: you do, huh? show is over, got to go. [laughter] >> greg: true. it seems that this appears, appears to be more manly than this. [laughter] >> greg: no wonder he's out of work, and it's even before i open this beautiful mouth. now american researchers are confirming what we expected that muscular physiques go hand-in-hand with conservatism. and if you're puny you're likely also a progressive [ bleep ]. >> greg: terrible language. but it makes sense. check out how left wing these dudes are, right? anyway, that's probably a mistaken photo. u.s. study participants were asked to assess the political orientation of men who varied in strength and muscle. while also considering various assets of what constitutes conservatism and strong men appeared more conservative than weaker ones. meanwhile, buff broad shouldered men are only seen as liberal when they are changing in a woman's locker room. the perception was observed regardless of when the beliefs were related societal issues or economics. it makes sense when you consider what it takes to get those muscles disciplined. hard work. delayed gratification. extra protein. all values that would make a gender study's major report a hate crime. but, you know, doesn't it make sense. conservatism is based on incentives. do this, get that. liberalism is the opposite. don't do anything, it's okay. we got you. so the left rewards bad behavior and the right rewards good behavior. that's why everyone in antifa looks like a pile of [ bleep ] [applause] >> greg: let's kick them. their idea of fitness is having a piercing that's only mildly infected with hepatitis. the study also found that people believe strong men value their personal liberties more than weaker dudes should. but what does this mean for the rest of us? like i say, conservative liberty-minded dudes who aren't as muscular as they would like to be, you know, jesse is about as conservative as they get but the only lifting he does is a hair brush. [laughter] 500 reps each arm, three times each day, yet he's got the upper body strength of kat timf. what about comedian joe yacky over here. look at that. what a bundle of animal flesh. crawl all over him. but do people unfairly think he's a liberal weakling because he has the face of your aunt that never got married and had 14 cats? [applause] >> greg: every time he goes for a walk he ends up upside-down with his legs sticking out of the top of a trash can. people don't think he looks like a liberal. they just think he looks like a lesbian. >> thanks for coming on. >> greg: yes. you should have seen the ones i cut. [laughter] >> greg: really bad. but of course, there is tyus, he could kick the crap -- he could kick the crap out of the gop elephant himself. is there any question how he and his 38-inch neck votes? >> nope. thanks, mom. >> greg: then there is kat, her arms mistaken for wish bones but she's as wiry as a short haired terrier tangled up in a ball of yarn. the point is there are exceptions. just look at chris cuomo if you can find him. his new show airs at midnight on the closed-circuit tv of a 7-eleven in queens. now, he's not conservative by any stretch but check him out. he built those muscles and he built them through resistance training. mostly from women trying to resist his advances. [laughter] [applause] >> greg: i'm kidding. i'm not -- so even though participants in the study all equated muscular physiques with strong conservative values it's not always the case, right? but at least in the eyes of many it is. so it's like my uncle always told me, you can judge a book by its cover, unless it's written by brian kilmeade. [applause] >> greg: nerd. this woman >> that's my mom. >> greg: but look, i know that generalizations like this suck and it's been my motto that one must favor individuals over groups. but my impression of the truly fit is that they are either apolitical or they are right wing. they are never outspoken leftists, so why can't people apply the principles of fitness to other aspects of life if they know it works? muscles get better depending on what you put into them. but that also would make sense it would go for work, education, security, the board, economics, so if you like the gem you might try that mentality elsewhere. because it's not shocking that a lot of people equate looking strong with behaving strong as well. so the next time you need someone with strong values and a strong jaw, pick a tv host who has broad shoulders, and chisel physiques that you need. let's welcome tonight's guests. [applause] >> greg: his act has cleared more rooms than president biden's colon. comedian joe mackey. [cheers and applause] >> greg: he's killed more fish than british petroleum, chef and restaurant owner andrew -- [cheers and applause] >> greg: she's like a rubric cube. difficult to figure out and adored by nerds. fox news contributor, guess who? [applause] >> greg: and "new york times" best-selling author, former nba world champion, tyus. [applause] >> greg: joe, it's amazing. i know i make fun of you, you do have wash boards abs, we just can't see them. you're modest. you cover it up with body stuff. >> why are you looking at me like that? >> greg, those insults are more off the mark than megan rapino's penalty kick. son of a gun i would take my shirt off if it would wax my hair. but i tell you this i'm so conservative that i use that to win body building contests. instead of flexing, i'm like, if you get caught doing graffiti we cut your arms off and donate those to the arms list. [laughter] >> but i'll say this. you make a good point that the attributes that make someone who is really fit also, they translate into a lot of different areas of life. even standup comedy the government can't write jokes for you although president biden needs a lot of help. [applause] >> greg: i'm not a big fan of the super fit comedians, though. i need to laugh at somebody, not feel insecure. >> i wish we were just judged on our material. >> greg: yes. that will never happen with you. [boos] >> greg: i say that because he's a genius. who is misunderstood. they will love him when he's dead. [laughter] >> greg: in about 2028. andrew, you're a world famous chef. does this apply in the kitchen? like men who can't cook are more right or more left? >> yes, i mean, men who can't cook are more left. we ask this when we hire people. you know what's funny is that when i actually heard this study i went right to redick because i wanted to understand the truth behind this, and it's true, right? so it was brought up and the overwhelming response is that people who are conservative are vain and they only care about themselves. they don't think about equitable muscle distribution, amino acid distribution so it's incumbent upon me as someone who i feel is very open-minded to actually give most of my muscles away so that's why i used to look like tyus. i was 6'8", 290, a couple of years ago at post pandemic i've become open hearted. >> greg: you have a three pack now. you used to have a six pack. >> i used to have a keg. >> greg: kat, okay, you're married now. you've been married now for almost 10 years. congratulations. >> sure. >> that was quick. >> time flies. 10 years, just under five. >> greg: have you ever dated scrawny, weak conservatives, or jacked muscular liberals or did it never enter the picture? >> no, they were all swanny and weak and so weak we could share clothes. when i met my husband, my wardrobe was cut in half. although, you know who is really, really ripped now didn't mention? the most ripped people are actually gay fitness influencers. >> greg: that's why i said -- but they are generally apolitical. >> they live in west hollywood awn look at them. i was invited to a gay brunch, and i falsely assumed there would be food there. silly of me in retrospect but i also don't know how one gets muscles. >> greg: it's easy. you lift things. why are garbage men so buff? every day they are lifting stuff up and putting it down. lifting stuff up and putting it down. that's how you bull muscle. >> become a garbage? >> greg: you can do it around the house. you can lift up bottled water. do little work-outs, right? this is from my experience working at prevention magazine. these were the tips that i would give. i'm embarrassed right now doing this. [laughter] >> i'm just glad you didn't blow it. >> greg: by the way -- redundant. don't you feel gay, tyus, having brunch? >> i don't know. it's hollywood, i feel gay every day, i guess. [applause] >> it's funny that a lot -- because i work out at wrestling, so there is a lot of gay, and it's always been kind of the same thing. when the fitness -- they are quiet because they don't want the backlash so there is a lot more to gay conservatives than you realize not to get the backlash. it used to be like tyus, keep doing what you're doing, do you want to come on the show? >> yep. but it's changing. it's changing. now it's like -- tyus, keep it up, dock, all right, cool. and so when you get to that point, when you get to the point where you're on a consistent routine you keep track of everything, how much you spend on training, diet, and that causes you to look when you get your first checks and it's taxed like nobody's business, oh, i've got to vote against these things so it's a mindset. it's the group because everybody can be lazy and miserable in the group, because they don't have to account to anybody because they just expand the group. we see it a lot, pronounce, they are making new groups for themselves so they don't have to explain not succeeding with the group where as the guy or the gal in the gym, they will see the results and the truth is in if they factually put in the work. that's the difference between the two groups. >> greg: just to pig gay back on that, when i'm at the gym and i'm often at the gym, i notice that a lot of people into fitness also run their own businesses. it's usually something out of the trunk. >> but it starts somewhere. >> greg: it's a free market. it's a -- you want to shoot [ bleep ] your veins, anyway, what i'm saying is, they are capitalists, and they are capitalizing on effort. i think we've killed this for example is. . all right. rowdy crowd tonight. up next, what songs will they be cranking if they give biden a spanking? ♪ limu emu & doug ♪ [bell ringing] and doug says, “you can customize and save hundreds on car insurance with liberty mutual.” he hits his mark —center stage— and is crushed by a baby grand piano. are you replacing me? with this guy? customize and save with liberty bibberty. he doesn't even have a mustache! oh, look! a bibu. 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[laughter] >> greg: so to democrats free speech is reserved for the things they want to hear. imagine that rule at a doctor's office. doctor, why didn't you tell me i had monkeypox? i knew you wouldn't like it and your prescription doesn't cover bananas? why party differences. media content is less factual than liberal because it ignores the obvious truths. hunter's laptop was fake. and conservatives are for reluctant to censure because they belief in the free marketplace of ideas regardless of content which is sadly how the world ended up with 10 fast and furious movies. last what about men versus women? 78% of men support deeply offensive speech. compared to just 66% of women. so that's quite a gender gap which will seen be another euphemism for vagina. [laughter] >> angry today. >> greg: no. [laughter] >> greg: i thought that was funny but the audience apparently didn't. >> it took a minute to settle in. >> if you're a jilted lover -- >> you've got to smile after the joke when you say something like that. oh, he's just playing around. that's how you get away with it. [laughter] >> greg: smile more. >> it's so weird because every movie that talks about censorship or mccarthyism assumes it will come from the right but it never does. it comes from the tolerant left. this is insane. we're seeing a new mccarthyism. >> it was always the opposite, right? as a standup comic, the liberals were like, the pendulum is starting to swing back, why can't i say this? they are getting into trouble. you guys started this stuff. you knew it would eventually come your way and now you're freaking out. i love it that 78% of what males say is deeply offensive, they have no problem, but 66% of women, i want them people at my comedy shows. the rest of them can stay hem and watch the disney channel. >> greg: exactly. they want to go out and have fun and they are offended and that's their way of having fun. tirous, it isn't about hate speech, it's about speech they hate. >> they have been doing it. the pandemic, that's when they got the ability out and they have been doing it. anybody says anything that they don't like or that hurt their feelings needs to go away so they want to live in a world where they can say whatever they want, you have to scop whatever they are doing, whatever they want the change about themselves, we all have to be fine with us but one of us that have a question, send him away. they can't question us. while they are, what they feel like their idea of power is they will continue to try to do this. there needs to be a reason. they just want the ying and the yang. they just want to be able to say what they say, we hear those stupid sayings like "my truth." when my kids say that, they get my version of punishment. [laughter] [applause] >> greg: i'm still thinking about ying and yang. it's like the siamese twins from the circus. >> they don't fit at all but they just -- >> greg: ying and yang. >> they spend hours trying to ying it up. >> greg: kennedy, there is something weird going on here. they are looking at the first amendment as though it's this malleable thing that you can just mush around like silly putty. >> you understand request they are trying to do that they are starting with the first amendment because they want to go after the second amendment, but they can't do that right away. so they are going after words, and it's really interesting. you pointed this out for so long, when you control language, you control society. and that's ultimately what they want to do because they are constantly kicking words and phrases out of university guidelines and petitioning dictionaries to get rid of certain words. they want us to omit so much of how we talk to each other, and so many of our id-- expressions. what they have done is they are lost on ideas so they are coming after your freedom by passive aggressive force because you don't really see it because they feel like the wordsmiths. they are actually a bunch of technocrat bully who is want to control your life from every angle. they will start with speech and they will end with guns, and i say they will run into guns because they will run into those who have guns. they will take your speech and weapons. [applause] >> greg: they will be well ventilated, charles. we look at this and we're seeing what's happening. like on platforms, people, they are going after platforms. they try to get -- him by going after his advertisers. i'm beginning to think the only people with free speech will be the people rich enough to be canceled. like -- and the elon musks but everybody else is screwed. >> for a long time i used to say that about the news business because they run profitable but if you're a billionaire, you buy it, you can always get your opinion out, but that whole thing is assassination journalism. it's been around for a while. i dealt with it personally, you know, pure sabotage, "new york times", evil, evil, evil, evil stuff, intent on harming. the problem i think, is they get away with it because when the headlines go out particularly in this society where people have this short-term memory, like a 24-hour memory the headline becomes the fact. even if they have to retract it, six months later, think of all every single thing that was big time under president trump. the russian collusion, his taxes and all of that and when all of this stuff came out, okay -- print 67 obituaries, we messed up on that. it's all about krafgt. it's not even an article. it's the headline. it's the headline. that's all, the assassination journalism, main weapon is the headline but they can say something to destroy you, get it out there and it never matters what the truth is because once they hit you with that too many people buy into it. they get away with it. >> greg: the only optimism i have is fewer people are buying into it. i think they have been red pilled, in the last five years, everybody is somehow become a target or smeared, as a group. you know, i'm hoping that like this is the end. my friends, of this segment. that was awkward. up next, canada calls a nazi is hero because their research was zero. 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[laughter] >> that's so true. >> greg: that should be on a t-shirt. with dot, dot, dot. >> you know who doesn't think a lot? my dog. you know who is a having great time? my dog. he doesn't understand violence. he doesn't understand that bad things are going on in the world. he just walks around. have you guys heard of around the block? he's so happy. if you want to put something in your head to think more, you will regret it. >> greg: yes. the moment karl starts thinking the moment he'll go why am i licking my testicles? wait, he doesn't have them anymore. you know, tyus, you could argue we already have brain chip. i basically our phone but it's in our hand. implanted in our hand. it seems like an invasive solution for a noninvasive reality. >> cleeshlgs i'm the only one who clicked continue the story on this one. because the idea was to help people who were paralyzed. >> greg: first step. >> help them get their bodies functioning. >> greg: that's good >> at some point it's supposed to turn into basically you have your phone inside your bodies which is going to lead to -- i'm not asking, i don't want to know. >> greg: the e.r. guy was just an ace. >> not going down that road. refuse. sick little bastard. all right. >> finish the thought, though, this is interesting. >> he tried to put these -- if i had the chip, delete, three, delete, delete. >> what if it goes off on its own? >> here's the problem. people's phones, they are sacred and if anyone touches them they freak out. now it's inside your head. how many stories are we going to see where a man dies because his wife was trying to dig into his head at night to see what he was thinking about? you know what i'm saying? >> greg: you were thinking about her again? >> yeini my wires disconnected? yep. really. it's a little scary. >> what about if somebody leaves something in there as a joke. >> you'll record your murder. which will make murder even worse because it will be in the chip. you know what i'm saying? you will see her every day putting the anti-freeze in my oatmeal. imagine an archaeologist goes through your brain in 30,000 years and elon planted something to be funny for a future race. remember those disney movies. >> greg: one of the tesla scars mikes a fart. >> everybody gets to that point at some point. >> greg: if he does that i'm signing up. >> he downloads a horrible song it's in their head. >> i just can't understand how this would be good for you. already they are talking about wearing air pods and having the phone up to your ear and radiation. i'm the weirddo, by the way. i have the emf radiation blocker on my phone. i also turn my wifi off before bed. the last thing i want is a chip in my brain. >> i don't think there is enough research on that radiation theory but i'll look into it. >> greg: this might be the next step in evolution, melding the flesh and metal together. >> the chip could overheat, though, that's a threat of getting it implanted into your head. that does not sound pleasant. i'm just saying. >> you don't want to be the first. there is a tipping point. >> greg: you should never be the first at anything. i learned that the hard way. >> who do you think will be the first? what type of person? >> let's remove the people that are neurologically impaired. the people that are healthy that volunteer for this, will probably be nuts. >> yes. >> greg: you're selecting for insanity. >> there is an argument to be made, but yes, would you probably have to have something wrong. i think tyus was thinking, paralysis or [laughter] [applause] >> an election, sure. >> greg this works out for you, when a.i. takes over, it will just go through your chip and control you. >> that's what i keep saying. >> and knock usual off the cliff. >> it sifts through trillions of bites of information to come up with a predictive outcome which is thinking. >> greg: what happens is, if you rely on that you will stop thinking. you'll be unconscious because the machine will be doing all these predicted outcomes for you. >> is this your chip talking? >> yes. >> you could download, kat, you could download, i can't lie and it's in your brain. if someone asks you a question you have to rip your face off not to tell them what you really think. >> greg: that would suck. >> you do something wrong but you've got a computer running your brain, don't you get a full pass knit seems like a strange thing. would that uphold in a court of law? >> greg: i can't wait. i'm doing this. all right. coming up, will you support a vaping sport? 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"the great disappearance" by david jeremiah is available now everywhere fine books are sold. ♪ >> greg: today's video of the day, during a recent interview a local journalist accused him of being a populist and taking pages out of the trump playbook which pierre batted away with while casually eating an apple. roll it. >> on the topic, in terms of your strategy, currently, obviously you're taking populist pathway. >> what does that mean? >> appealing to people's more emotional levels, i would guess. i mean, certainly you tap very strong ideological language quite frequently. >> like what? >> left wing, you know, this and that right wing, that type of -- >> i don't talk left or right. i don't really believe in that. >> greg: love that. the up spoken message, you're such a minor part of my day i still have time for a delicious snack. let's watch some more. >> a lot of people would simply say you're taking a page out of the donald trump -- >> which people. >> i'm sure a great number of canadians. >> like who? >> i don't know who. >> you're the one who asked the question so you must know somebody. >> greg: perfect. [applause] >> greg: i guess this is what leaders are capable of when they actually have teeth. tyus, the best part about this is, it's not just the apple, it's that he forced the reporter to explain the origins of his nonsense questions, because he kept saying some people that has to be done to reporters. >> he made him follow up his question. >> greg: yes. >> and i've done this a lot in my life to people i find in inconsequential. he picked the loudest fruit in the world. that's the perfect i give zero [ bleep ], when someone is talking to you and you're eating an apple. there is no quietness. it just keeps going, which then rattles the guy and he sits there. the only thing he was missing was a leather jacket. that's all he was missing, like a leather jacket and at some point that's my ride. i'm out, boss, and hopped on the motorcycle and drove off and threw the apple core at him. >> greg: larry, i can't vote for him but i think i might cross the board and vote for him just for that. >> me, too, we'll go together. this guy is my new hero. love it. an apple day keeps the left wing away. [laughter] [applause] >> greg: that's good. >> it made me happy to hear you tell that joke. i'm being sincere. >> greg: charles -- >> it's a long day and you're right. >> greg: that was a master class in dealing with contemporary media, which is can, all of his questions were set up lazily because generally people don't respond that way. >> you're right. listen, it's one of the frustrating things about tv, right? i fill in for neil. the democrats have a room at the end of the hall. we need a guest on fox, it's called the comic room. i don't care the question. say what you want to say and there is no accountability. what people, what page? i do have an idea so you can't vote for him for president but we do need a speaker of the house. i don't know if there is a loophole, larry, but, i mean, you know what? this guy, i'm in love with this guy. bring him over. >> we're all going to go together. re-register. >> greg: what did you make of the performance? the reporter just ended up eating crow. >> i'm going to keep apples in my office so dike this the next time you're mad at me. >> greg: i'm never mad at you. [small laugh] >> yes, what do you mean by that? when was that? who told you that? it's great but di do need to wok on not being bothered. as a woman i have feelings. men don't so much. >> greg: yes. [laughter] >> greg: i don't know. i'm glad he didn't use a banana. >> you've got to have the crunch, man. >> greg: you've got to have the young. . all right. we'll move on. coming up, victoria secret returns to its roots and ends its woke pursuits. we're travelling all across america, talking to people about their hearts. wh-who wants to talk about their heart! how's the heart? how's your heart? how's your heart? it's good. is it? aah, i don't know. it's okay. it's okay! yeah. good. you sure? i think so. how do you know? it doesn't come with a manual, and you like ooh, i got the 20,000-day checkup, right? let me show you something. put two fingers right on those pads. look at that! that's your heart! that is pretty awesome. with kardiamobile, you can take a medical-grade ekg in just 30 seconds, from anywhere. kardiamobile is proven to detect atrial fibrillation, one of the leading causes of stroke. and it's the only personal ekg that's fda-cleared to detect normal heart rhythm, bradycardia and tachycardia. how much do you think this costs? probably in the hundreds. $79. oh wow! that could be cheaper than a tank of gas. our black friday deal is here. kardiamobile is now just $69, the lowest price ever. get kardiamobile for yourself or a loved one today at kardia.com or amazon. (car engine revs) (engine accelerating) (texting clicks) (tires squeal) (glass shattering) (loose gravel clanking) ♪ ♪ if you love all the birds and trees and the fishes in the sea ♪ ♪ this second. is for >> don't you just love our animal friends? music video of three pets playing instruments. right there come a you have a cat on the drums. pretty soon we are going to a cat on a piano and finally come you have a cat on the guitar. there we go. and they are called the rock-cats. make sure that you pick catty perry. if you are going to start a cat band, the more you know come up pick your names. >> there's a little bit of cat shaming going on there. >> i've never much liked raccoons. signifies that funny to you? [laughter] >> they think that they are all cute with some gray and black stripes, and you know, snacks are ridiculously expensive at the airport. from this day forward i will be carrying around a raccoon in my purse who will be performing this task for me. [laughter] [cheers] [applause] >> i bet those twisters cost $20. >> what about you, dan? >> i'm not as prepared as everybody else. i don't know what these people are doing or why they are doing it, but i o bull rider and i jut made it to the pbr. for whatever reason these beds are trying to tackle him. one guy has him by the tail. that's what happens when you grab them by the tail. i don't know why anybody would want to watch that. >> oh come on man. that was like your bachelor party. [laughter] >> i don't even know what i meant by. >> there is a squirrel that is so fat come and take a look at it. and you can see that he comes up and eats her gourds and pum pumpkins. he's looking like, what does she mean? which means he doesn't know how fat he was. >> you love a good fat squirrel. >> spoken like a true southerner. coming up next, questions we answer with delight insurance with liberty mutual.” he hits his mark —center stage— and is crushed by a baby grand piano. are you replacing me? with this guy? customize and save with liberty bibberty. he doesn't even have a mustache! oh, look! a bibu. 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(vo) if your thyroid eye disease was diagnosed a long, long time ago you may think your eyes will be bulging forever. like a never-ending curse that can't be broken. but even if you've been told it's too late, treating your thyroid eye disease may still be possible. and a new day is within sight. learn how you could give your eyes a fresh start at stilltreatted.com. >> thank you for joining eskimo we are back tomorrow night with dana perino, special report is next, and i love you, america. >> could even come everyone come i am mike emanue