♪ ♪ greg: happy tuesday, yes it is tuesday. yeah. all right.hant yes happy taco tuesday. y the port potty is right over there. all right there's been a lot of talk among dems about misinformation disinformation,e. basically any sort of a information that doesn't help a democrat get elected.mo also knowncr as the truth. and eyes of the dems story of hunter laptop had to be misinformation because this threatened joe biden candidacy so squash the story and suspend and banned anybody who talkedsu about it andsp called it russian disinformation and it worked.si and theyan got the result they wanted, a reject from a balance of nature ad in the white house. but that wasn't enough. h especially nowou that elon musk has bought their favorite toy, twitter, and turned it intoe something called x. t so now musk must be stopped.. and enter media matters, on and enter media matters, on saying nazi content ran on app a alongside corporate ads fort major companies like ibm apple and oracle so companies suspended ads on x and now musk is suing media matters saying b they manufactured the report. report. apparently these companies were duped, like someone who bought girl scout cookies from dylan mulvaney. [laughter] >> greg: be happy that's all you bought. but before we go any further, we should clarify what media matters really is in case you don't know. they are this left wing group funded by wealthy leftists, wise dishonestly positioning themselves as an impartial media watchdog but the only part of that title that's true is the dog part because they make chris cuomo interviewing his brother seem impartial. those were the days. so why is this important? because the mainstream media uses media matters knowing that the public has no idea what it is, and they won't bother to check that it's a front to silence people. specifically conservatives. but there is really only one entity that's worse than media matters. it's the orbit of parasitic blogs. the bail beast, independent, cnn's reliable sources, who grab the media matters stories, add a few words to avoid plagiarism and then repost them. they lie by telling only part of the truth. you know, it's like when joe mackey says he ate at a food truck and it turns out to be an ice cream truck. [laughter] >> greg: this amplified universe of lazy hacks feeds off one bowl of outraged food and because fox is its target we've kept more clowns employed than barnum and bailey. it's kept brian floating in a sea of twin kiss and the daily beast going back to their old jobs of making lattes. what did media matters do this time? according to the lawsuit first media matters went on x and followed a small subset of users from one of two categories. those who post fringe content and big name advertisers. then they kept refreshing the hand selected feed until it got the result that it wanted. controversial content next to paid posts from x's largest advertisers. then they took screen shots of it, claimed it was organic, and published an article about it. this quickly panicked the cowardly advertisers including adebayo, apple, disney, warner brothers and paramount so they fled like women when keith asks for their number. tried to replicate media martz research and they couldn't so these advertisers fell for the ruse because they are too scared to take a stand. those company stock hold sheers be pissed and they -- [ bleep ] if you acted on what they told you, you should be fired. it's like learning to freestyle rap from joe biden. so now musk is hitting media matters with "a thermo-nuclear lawsuit for the fraudulent attack." but that's not all. texas attorney general ken paxton is opening an investigation saying he's extremely double by these allegations and andrew bailey is also joining the fight promising musk he's investigating media matters as well. so why is this important? because media matters is a hard left smear machine yet it's one caudled by the press who used that contents to build their own crap. you may not have heard of media matters until today. but you can bet your liberal pals read it heavily. they simply call the outfit a watchdog group. it became their brain damaged henchman, a stoopless careless brute that does the dirty work. so media matters assuming they could get away with it went after the richest most capable man on earth, one with deeper pockets than most countries but like hamas they went too far and now you see the hacks circling the wagons. so why did media matters go after musk in the first place? because he's a threat. by caring only about the freedom of the press which is exposing how vile the leftists are. right now they are taking to the streets of america chanting anti-semitic hate, mainstream media repeats the lies of hamas while second-guessing everything israel says and does. when jews are being bear indicated inside college classrooms i don't see any trump hats. if anybody is acting like a nazi it's the left. i.e., media matters' own team. they will do anything to destroy an enemy, even when what they call the enemy is actually their own country. i'm so here for this and you should be, too, because it's about time somebody exposes media matters until they don't matter anymore and although i'm a legal scholar my guy is on the guy who builds rockets, not lies. [applause] >> greg: welcome tonight's guests, just like cranberry sauce, he retains the shape of his container. comedian joe mackey. [applause] >> greg: her play-by-play will make your day. [applause] >> greg: nothing to him is off limits except maybe a barber. comedian and author, that joke isn't funny any more. lou -- [applause] >> greg: and finally, i think he once sold me a set of encyclopedias. fox news contributor tom -- [applause] >> greg: joe, excellent choice of outerwear. that's a classic members only jacket, is it not? >> it is, greg. they don't just sell these to anyone. you have to be pretty hot, cool and relevant. >> greg: you actually have to be a member to own that? >> they won't just sell to it anyone. >> greg: no, they won't. i want to read you a question that was written for me by one of the writers. joe, do you think if media matters tried to cancel you, maybe one or two people might come to your shows? [laughter] >> greg: di not write that. >> if they do cancel me, greg, i hope that they mention in the article that i'm performing at the st. louis funny bone november 24 through november 26. [applause] >> greg: but i tell you what, media matters is following the same old liberal script. the cdc laundered information to the teacher's union. stanford laundered information through the department of homeland security. it's a brilliant idea and i use it when i used to be a player. like i would have my wing man say something to the ladies to impress them, and it wouldn't come from me. it sounded like i was bragging but i will tell you yet backfired. the last thing women want to hear from one of my male friends is the phrase, take it from me, joe mackey is great at sex. [laughter] >> greg: so you used to be a player. >> those days are behind me, greg. [laughter] >> greg: so you have a twitch. okay. charlie, before you started doing fox were you aware of media matters? did you know what they did? >> i would see their name in different publications. i would never pay too much attention to it because it was just often quoted. there are so many different news outlets that will take their information, maybe you attribute them but since getting here i've personally been victimized by media matters on multiple occasions as i'm sure you have as well. >> greg: i think they have a dossier on me going back to 2007. >> everything they deem that will not help their cause is labeled as misinformation and i think elon musk knows this which is the reason why he purchased twitter, now known as x. he wanted to restore free speech and i think fret get go, we saw school moms in the government, in society, from all different walks of life, attacking him instantly, and we're seeing the same script being, you know, taken out at this very stage in his ownership and it's sad but at least ken paxton and some other attorney generals are at least trying to investigate media matters to turn the tied, if you will, but i'll say conservatives, there is one thing there, they are used to is losing. basic liberties, free speech, they are losing their country to illegals. they are losing their government to communists. they are losing culture, so something needs to stop the skid and i hope like you mentioned that it's elon's thermonuclear attack. >> greg: one day, joe, you will lose your virginity. >> as if you care. >> greg: i couldn't resist it. jacket, lou, i'm very excited over this because this dude is the richest man on earth. so he's just going to run media matters into the ground, i would hope. >> well, i mean, he did say thermonuclear, and he is a rocket guy. >> greg: yes. >> as you talked about earlier, so, i just hope that i'm here next week because if things blow up, that much, it might be a little nuts. but it is interesting because i noticed the trend when i was on x, any time i would put in white genocide, i would see an ad for blue chew, which, i don't know if you guys are familiar with, it's like the updated siallis. obviously a nazi would want something to help them take care of business in order to repopulate the earth. [laughter] >> it worked. that's all i'm saying. >> greg: it worked. there you go. media matters, it works. >> you got me, man. >> greg: i have less respect for the people that use media matters than media matters. you know what i mean? rat least, they might have an office that they go to but everybody that uses media matters are just lazy hacks. >> would you ever think about there is an agent right now for media matters assigned to you. >> greg: definitely. >> every single thing you do he's going through your garbage, anything he can find. >> they will put something verbatim on their site. they will listen to your whole segment, everything out of your mouth will be verbatim. >> greg: verbatim is better than, what's the opposite? >> twisting your words. >> greg: yes. exactly. so, i actually don't mind when it people take my words. it's just that they will put it within something else to make it sound like you did something different. i don't know. lou? nothing? >> i might have to rewrite this whole segment to put different words into my mouth to make me sound a lot better than i do right now. >> greg: tommy, as the whitest guy i know, do you mind appearing against -- next to controversial stuff? >> media matters has a dossier on me as well, greg. >> greg: yes. >> it's not as listening as yours but when i do show up on it i just feel love. oh, you guys, i still matter to you? i think it's great. but media matters has been committing fraud every morning for the past 15 years. that's the way they do business, and you're right. it's the lazy journalists who write their press releases verbatim, you know, they are the ones that are really to blame. it's like, you know, it used to be that people would lie in politics. the rules of politics, when you're running against someone, you can lie, people are like, oh, well, he's a politician, they would hire these research firms to do their dirty work for them. media matters is a research form for the entire right and the media is playing that game. it used to be the media, they would kind of call balls and strikes, right? but now, the media covering politics goes by the rules of a political campaign. >> greg: yes. exactly. >> constantly campaigning. >> greg: and they have one go to, and that's media matters, and so they don't even have to get out of bed. they are waiting for them on their laptop and they just put a headline on it and they send it out. >> yes. you know, once it's in the press, we end up talking at it. so we end up talking about stories on this panel that media matters created. they created a false story. "new york times" prints it. and then they are talking about it on msnbc. now we have to talk about it so we're actually addressing it. it really works. very pernicious, greg. >> greg: there you go. an endorsement from tom. >> you know what tomorrow's story is going to be? greg gutfeld! fat bones -- [inaudible] >> that's not body inclusive. >> greg: i hope that's the case. up next, shaking when my doctor gave me breztri for my copd things changed for me. breztri gave me better breathing, symptom improvement, and reduced flare-ups. breztri won't replace a rescue inhaler for sudden breathing problems. it is not for asthma. tell your doctor if you have a heart condition or high blood pressure before taking it. don't take breztri more than prescribed. breztri may increase your risk of thrush, pneumonia, and osteoporosis. call your doctor if worsened breathing, chest pain, mouth or tongue swelling, problems urinating, vision changes, or eye pain occur. ask your doctor about breztri. introducing the limited edition disney collection from blendjet. nine exciting designs your whole family will adore blendjet 2 is portable, which means you can blend up nutritious smoothies, protein shakes, or frozen treats, just about anywhere! recharge quickly via usb-c. it even cleans itself. order yours now from blendjet.com and bring a little disney into your life. my mom's life is the most important thing to me. hi mom! i called my mom, "i have this gene and i think you need to get tested." she feels like it was truly lifesaving. all right. 60 seconds to draw the perfect gift. what's it gonna be? a bottle of don julio, 1942, delivered. delivered with drizly. gifting without the guessing. drizly. all right, tandy, what's it gonna be, the drink made from whatever was laying around, or the one made with your drizzly haul? drizly! stock up today, sip well, tomorrow. drizly. [applause] >> greg: welcome back. ha-ha. you sexy people. he's healthy as a horse because he's donald trump. old joe keeps walking toward the light. trump's personal doctor says he's in "excellent health" and will continue to enjoy a healthy active lifestyle for years to come. hold on. [applause] >> greg: you're not biased. yes, he'll "continue to enjoy a healthy active lifestyle for years to come." good news for trump even if it also sounds like a dog food ad. it's certainly a testament to the healing powers of a dozen diet cokes per se. i can rest easy now and is trump not only a fine specimen of a man his mind is all there, too. unlike joe, whose brain is slowly dripping out of his nostrils. in fact, a report says trump's cognitive exams were exceptional, and he's also lost some weight, too. i knew there was something different. trump proudly posted his doctor's note on truth social yesterday, same day joe biden turned 81. not to be outdone, a flustered joe biden responded by posting the results of his last autopsy. earlier, even earlier today he was seen shopping for nude toe tags. here's how cnn covered trump's health. >> to be clear he released no medical records. okay? it was propaganda. propaganda, right? we've seen no lab results. we've seen -- nothing other than whatever he told this doctor. >> like on the one hand joe biden, a little bit old. on the other hand, donald trump, a lying liar who makes up his own doctor's reports. >> greg: joe biden. that was fun. a little bit old. that's like saying cnn is a little bit unwatchable. [laughter] >> greg: where do they find these people? we can ask for biden's most recent medical records but they were lost during the great chicago fire of 1871. but he did get a clean bill of health from a team of doctors although they were doctorates in archeology, but biden did recently under go a cognizant test of his own, too. >> thank you, mr. president, for consenting to sit down for this exam. >> all right. look, here's the deal. my wife is a doctor anyway. she's not a tv doctor like you. hit me with your best shot. >> we're going to do what is called a mental status exam. a simple cognitive screen. repeat these five words. >> five words. >> no, no, these five words. >> person. woman. man, camera, tv. >> woman, person, man. tv. radio. record player. >> let's try these three words. can you repeat them after me. >> kitchen sink. >> kitchen sink. . >> beway of roses. >> bouquet of roses. >> pair of shoes. >> and in a few minutes i'll ask you to repeat those again, okay? in the meantime where are we right now? what do you call this place? >> united states. >> i mean this specific place we're at right now. >> where are we right now? where are we sit something what would you call this place? >> this is -- an interview. i'm having an interview. >> and if i say too much i get into trouble. >> who is the current president of the united states? >> barack obama. >> how about those three objects i asked you to repeat for me. >> bucket of flowers, a pair of shoes, a bucket of popcorn. >> corn pop. >> that's who you are. corn pop. >> i'm dr. drew. >> i know who you are, drew carey. with the "price is right." come on down. >> thank you, mr. president. pla [applause] >> greg: well done, tommy. what do you make of the latest trump physical and do you think it was timed specifically, perfectly on joe's birthday? >> yes, i think it was. he looks for opportunities, but he'll release more results. he'll go to a different doctor. the greatest thing about trump is he will -- even if he goessen nile no one will notice because he can do the same stuff. overrated, you're a liars. he'll be like the oldest guy, and he wouldn't change his modus operandi at all. that guy on cnn, though, one who called him a lying liar. he finished the segment by saying -- and just for your information, trump is almost as old as biden. >> that's your argument? yes, that's what we're saying. put them side by sigh. they are almost the same age. that's the problem. >> greg: exactly. exactly. it's such a contrast. i'm going to positive it, maybe i'm wrong but it feels like trump is the only president who did not age during the presidency. remember how obama all of a sudden turned into moving freeman? i can say that. [laughter] can i say that, lou? >> you can say that for sure. >> greg: it's my show, i can say anything i want. what are your thoughts on this? >> one thing i want to point out, neither trump nor his doctor were under oath when they said that he was really healthy and losing weight. >> greg: yes. >> so that can't be used against him in a court of law. i don't know about you guys, but i'm watching that test that dr. drew gave, and that's a really hard test. i couldn't remember any of that stuff. so i don't know what that says about me and where my brain has been for the past whatever. but i think one of the greatest things about trump, though, during those years is that he did so much good for like the body positivity movement. >> greg: yes. >> big girls were feeling a lot more like, you know, just a lot better about themselves, i think we are all actually better looking under a donald trump presidency. [applause] >> greg: yes. he made america hot again. >> yes. >> greg: i love how at cnn they called his medical exam or whatever propaganda. i think they are reusing words a little too much. it's now meaningless. anything is propaganda. >> if it doesn't serve their purpose. the last segment i made the same note. it perceived as disinformation or propaganda but actually, dr. president donald j. trump, by the way he has his honorary doctorate degree and if we still insist on calling jill biden dr. biden, i insist on calling him doctor. >> greg: he has one? >> yes, an honorary doctorate. >> greg: you have to tell us at least one. >> he could do his own medical reports at this stage but he came back with an excellent bill of health. it makes sense. why? you mentioned he was only drinking a dozen diet cokes per se i perceive he went from 20 a day to 19. hence the losing of the weight. also, they say he maintains daily physical activity which is very important. and even in the midst of having a very rigorous work schedule which makes sense because think about all the courthouse steps he has to climb day in and day out because of the nonsense indictments, the democrats are actually doing him a favor and by the time the election rolls around next year he'll be in marathon shape. >> that's true. [applause] >> greg: yes. joe, i'm going to read another question. i think maybe you wrote this one. joe, as someone who has got wash board abs, juiced guns and an incredible chest what's your examination of trump? >> thank you for noticing my cavs are often mistaken for horses. you know, it's one of those situations where even the truth comes out in the lies because they said that trump is a lying liar, and i speak from personal experience. you've got to be in pretty good health to lie good. it takes focus. it takes memory, and you have to not sweat. and i'm not so strong on the not sweating part. that's why when i lie, i eat hot wings. >> greg: very good. there is a tip for taking a lie detector test. you come down and you order hot wings, and you eat the hot wings while you're taking the test. >> did you commit the murder? i'm like -- no. >> greg: inadmissible. that's what the judge would say. inadmissible. >> and i would be like break for lunch. >> greg: foil again by joe mackey. >> i have some information. he's an honorary doctor of law from liberty university granted to him in 2017. >> greg: there you go. [applause] technically, he practiced law on himself. >> there you go. >> greg: which would be better than some of the lawyers he's hired. all right. up next, border chief says don't hi, i'm stacey, and i've lost 60 pounds on golo. (guitar music) i decided to try golo when i had an international flight coming up, and i realized i couldn't fly being the size that i was. my sister-in-law tried golo and had lost 50 pounds, so i thought i'd give golo a try. i didn't expect the results i got on golo. i was hopeful, but i did not expect it to be like this. golo just makes sense. this plan works. (announcer) change your life at golo.com. that's golo.com. [applause] >> greg: thank you. i know. i know. your hands must be raw from clapping. don't assume what a migrant sex is when they or them sneaks into texas so please ask an illegal what gender he presents as he's busy trying to hop a fence. remember, mayorcas. here's his staff photo. a dead ringer. even, he's allegedly directing board patrol agents not to assume the gender of illegals they encounter. that's according to documents obtained by the heritage foundation oversight project or f-op. if a longer dialogue with a migrant is occurring it may be appropriate to ask the individual their preferred pronoun end quote. god forbid we miss gender illegal immigrants when they clutch their pearls they might drop their fentanyl. also avoid asking what is your sex unless operationally necessary. i guess that depends on what kind of operation, one that keeps the border safe or one where a man gets his penis deported. then there is this. do not use he, him, she, her, pronounce until you have more information about, or provided by the individual. so here we are once again at the crossroads of common sense and woke [ bleep ] and there doesn't seem to be an off-ramp in sight. as the flood of border crossings continue we are seeing the increase of crime on the streets yet pronounce are the focus. they are probably not climbing over a razor wire in a skirt and high heels, although if there is one transgendered person that can swim across the rio grande, it this one. charlie, every time i think this woke bs has gone away it bubbles back up. what do you make of this? >> only in biden's america. >> that should be a t-shirt, are they concerned with offending the potential criminals who are illegally crossing our borders. it's complete and utter nonsense because there are so many more important questions that you should be asking these people when they come over. are you a felon? are you on the terrorist watch list? what kind of drugs do you have in your backpack? where do you plan to distribute your fentanyl? how many children are you smuggling across the border with you? how much is this going to cost taxpayers? realistically i'm not making a joke when these are the questions that should be asked and instead they are concerned with their pronounce. >> greg: none of those questions matter. it's how they feel for god same. i want to know if they are a fellow, not a felon. i'm going to present you with another question written by a writer. joe, if you performed at the border, is it true most migrants would flee back to mexico? >> greg, you would see a chain migration like never before. an explosion of anchor babies. >> because my shows are also an aphrodisiac. because people would see me and then have intercourse. >> greg: yes. >> you get it. >> greg: thank you for inserting that step there, because we couldn't have gone to that conclusion ourselves. >> fair enough. i think this might be a brilliant strategy to get some cheese mo types that are crossing the border to self-deport because the last thing you want when you go in somewhere, is if some guy in a uniform is, hey, are you a woman? >> greg: yes. [laughter] >> greg: i don't think this is the population where this type of thing would work. >> no, it's going to confuse people. they are already be pretty confused by america. they are like, what else do you do here? well, we're going to stop selling gasoline furnaces to keep people warm because of global warming. [laughter] >> greg: it's amazing. it's amazing, joe. lou, i can safely say that this may not be a concern for america. how did this happen? >> it's not a concern for me. i'm a legal latino here in america. >> you're latino? >> i am. >> i had no idea. >> greg: you guys get a pueblo. what is a pueblo? it's a house. >> pueblo -- or is it a town? >> greg: i don't know. >> maybe i'm not that much of a latino. >> greg: yes. >> i don't know. i just feel like -- i feel like, you know, like the biden administration looks at all of these thousands and thousands of men coming over, and they are like this looks really bad. maybe some of them identify as chicks. just make it look a little better. >> greg: exactly. >> and how weird is it going to be like you're asking what are your preferred pronounce and the guy is coming back gay. no english. that's not even a pronoun. >> greg: yes. >> i don't know, if they ask enough people they will finally find the mythical latinx. the one person who actually identifies as latinx, and then everyone get an mpr tote bag. >> greg: is it latinx or la-tinx, or latinx. >> i think it depends on how rude you're trying to be to the person. >> greg: you know who would know? our white supremacist, tom -- he's not a white supremacist yet. >> i think it's latinx because it was latina, first, right? >> greg: that's baseball team. >> all right. [laughter] >> you know, in this document, it went into great detail defining all of these terms. and it says, by the way, none of these migrants may follow these definitions, and all of these definitions might change in the future. >> greg: yes. >> so why are you making the definitions? the whole document is obviously ridiculous. the upsetting thing about this is they have bureaucrats working on this stuff. >> greg: exactly. >> to show you, they think this is a permanent situation. there are top men and women working on this because they think it's never going to go away. you know what? even when they criticize the administering, like this guy, add damages, gets all this credit in new york for saying we have to come up with a solution. the biden administration has to address this but he's also part of the problem because he wants a create a permanent solution. he wants government money coming into the cities. that's his plan. it's making this migrant chain never ending. >> greg: right. and in terms of pronounce, migrants become your-grants. i don't even understand what i said? why are you booing. coming up, he can lift a ton and he's a lot of fun. tyus joins us - when did doing business become more about culture wars and less about well, business? some companies today bring politics into the boardroom, then into our living rooms. that's why i use spotlight reports from 1792 exchange. here, i can search more than 2,000 companies, to see if they care more about divisive social issues than about running a sound business. isn't it time we got back to the business of business? learn the risk to your company or family at 1792exchange.com. hi i'm chaka khan [singing] and when i'm performing i give it everything i've got and i take the same approach when it comes to my health. that starts with knowledge. as a black american, i know i'm at a higher risk for diabetes, more than five million of us are living with this disease and it's complications. but we're less likely to get the latest technology to manage this dangerous disease. it's called cgm continuous glucose monitoring. instead of a painful finger stick to check your blood sugar, you wear a small device that can give you glucose readings at anytime. now, let me tell you something good. cgm can make a big difference in bringing down your a1c. if you have diabetes, ask your health care professional if cgm is right for you. >> greg: checking in, tyus. >> greg: the man with no equal is dropping a sequel. he wowed us before and he's giving us more. his new book, "enough said" surely to become a run away best seller. author, comedian, tyus. [applause] >> greg: sit down everything, sit down. sit down. so, tyus, congrats. i hope this is as huge as the first one. how much do you talk about me in this new book? >> okay. before we start, greg, because i want this show to air, the whole barack obama-morgan freeman thing, i called the black caucus, you're good, you've been approved. so that's one thing. >> greg: thank you. [applause] >> greg: i'm relieved. >> that's a lot of applause. are there black people in the audience tonight? >> greg: it's entirely black. they knew you were here. [laughter] >> greg: one half is black and the other half is white. >> sweet. so tom will stay. >> greg: yes. you tackle a lot of subjects, immigration, pronounce, blm what will people be most surprised to hear about? >> first, probably my amazing blurb from greg gutfeld!. greg wrote the blurb, which i appreciate it. thank you very much for that, boss. we're going, we're punching people in the mouth, and we're speaking, we've got to address the issues in the room from a conservative perspective, and from a grown ass man perspective. the first book was about me. and the second book is about everybody else. >> greg: yes, you know, i think why you're so popular is that the grown ass man part, and not because of size but nobody hears any of that anymore. it's all like beta males, [ bleep ] self help crap. anything you shied away from? i was asked, are you sure about this? patrol the most controversial thing i wrote about was abortion through a man's perspective because, and that's one of those things where because they never really ask us what we feel about it, even just tying to understand, because if you look at it through a man's perspective, we're trying to understand the women's perspective because it can be very confusing for us at times because we don't operate by the same rules. where, whenever we go through a situation, a man is expected to accept it, be accountable for it, and continue to take care of it. so, whereas a woman's perspective is a little different. that was the one they were a little worried about but again i just feel like a man doesn't have a right to tell a woman what to do with her body but when it cummings to accountability i think we can ask some questions sometimes. >> greg: very good. you also have a chapter on bullying. what are you hoping parents will take away from your advice? >> we get back to supporting our schools and our teachers, and vice versa. stop giving our kids, what's the word i'm looking for, stop giving them lessons from criminal movies. stop telling your kid snitches get stitches? like my son told me when i said that, he said, dad, that's something a criminal says. we need to start getting back to parenting, and confronting the bully because the best way to stop bali is to tell on him because after a while they will get tired of messing with you. this whole don't item anybody thing, keep it to yourself, you know, you've got to talk about it. you've got to post it b. that tattle tale because tattle tales have less bruises. >> greg: that's what i tell those kids i beat up. [laughter] >> greg: time for one more question. the book is called "enough said." everybody has to buy it. does that mean it's your last book? how can you do another book if this is called "enough said." i just come back with "what it is." >> greg: there you go. all right. >> thank you. >> greg: everybody go out and buy his book. make it to number one. tyus, good to see you as always. see you soon, i hope. >> happy thanksgiving day, america. >> greg: u i would say that we're closer than the average mother daughter. hi mom! if i lost my mom.... i can't think about that for too long. i was like, "whoa, mom, i have this gene!" kenzie's test and me being able to find out that i was brca positive was lifesaving. the holidays wouldn't be worth celebrating without my family. >> a story in five words. [applause] >> greg: thanksgiving dinner. lou, as more and more people get on this weight-loss drug, it suppresses the appetite and makes you think about food less, holidays, which center around stuffing your face, could go away. what do you think? >> i just think that you know, 400 years ago, the pilgrims were starving. the indians came and helped them grow food. 400 years later, the pilgrims are too fat. and it's like, that's america, baby. you've got to keep that going. [applause] >> greg: joe, have you ever considered it's epic? that's not advice. >> how -- [inaudible] greg? i tell you this, if you don't enjoy the food, the cure is worse than the disease because what's thanksgiving going to be about? being told all the things did you wrong over and over again by your family? >> greg: why are you still in comedy, joe? tom, you're a very suspicious person. are you worried about the drug and that everybody is on it? >> these drugs, they make you sick, they make you ill. >> greg: really? i think they advertise on fox. i happen to love the drug. i'm not on -- i think our audience is on it. >> i have a bit of a confession. i was on it last thanksgiving. >> greg: really? >> i took it for one week, only did one of the shots and never did it again, as you said, tom, it made you feel horrible. i didn't need to be on it, it was just one of those motels. >> greg: but you're so fat. >> but i took it, a few bites of turkey stuffing and that was it. i could handle no more. it was a horrible, horrible holiday. i will never do it again. >> greg: tom -- >> thank you, everybody. >> greg: it's weird, you still crave that white meat. >> i'm a dark meat guy, greg. >> greg: you're a dark meat guy? >> and i like the legs. >> all right. >> greg: t my dry eye's made me a burning, stinging, 5-times-a-day,... ...makeup smearing drops user. i want another option that's not another drop. tyrvaya. it's not another drop. it's the first and only nasal spray for dry eye. tyrvaya treats the signs and symptoms of dry eye disease fast by helping your body produce its own real tears. common side effects include sneezing, cough, and throat and nose irritation. relying only on drops? not me. my own real tears are my relief. ask your eye doctor about tyrvaya. gotcha. take that. whoa! bruh! i'm fine. that smack looked bad. not compared to the smack down i'm giving you. you sure you're, ok? you know you're down 200 points, right? lucky, she convinced me to get help. i had a concussion that could've been game over. in actual reality, you've only got one life. don't mess with your melon. if you hit it, get it checked. >> greg: thank you all forjoinio our guests and the crew and the audience. we ♪